Checking in on 22.99 days. Probably 23 by the time I have written this!
Glad you are feeling better @RosaCanDo That sounds horrible, having to endure that every summer.
I am sorry you are having trouble @Catmama23 Well done for coming straight back.
I have been gloomy all week, trying to get out for walks to lift my spirits but that has triggered a dip in my energy levels due to the chronic fatigue. I suspect I will dip further tomorrow for the funeral and then hopefully start bouncing back. I couldnāt manage a walk this evening so have tried to do some online training modules for work. I donāt have to do them, but the more I learn the better I can do my role and more chance of progression. So I have been productive at least. Actually talked myself into cheering up a bit just by writing this
Ah itās just one of the ways my PTSD manifests itself. I feel a little overwhelmed and foggy when I have what I perceive as too much to do. But it passed.
Funerals are never easy. Iām sure itās not helping knowing thatās so soon. Walk as much as you can, sit and listen to the birds, and be kind to yourself.
I was drinking since friday. I was sober at work, but as soon as I was coming home start to feel bad and drink on top of that. On weekends I started to drink to the point where I no longer feel drunk and I just drink it like water and itās never enough. I mentioned it before the first one nothing change and you just want to drink more and more. The usual amount of alcohol is increased dramatically. I also do not get terrible hangoversā¦
This escalate so quickly lately that actually when I woked up this morning I knew I will not drink, but I was scared not to. I was thinking this time I will need medical attention to get sober. I drinked tons on water and was sweating all day. Slept so deeply after work and just woked up few hours before midnight. I think the worst is over now. I know this next few days will be hard in psichological way.
This one
And about the mango and avocado, yes I did it before. But in wintertime itās to cold here and too dry inside so the plants did not survive. This time Iām going to try it with keeping them in water.
Well itās always a nice project to watch them grow. Try it yourself, they sprout easily!
When my kids were small I did it to educate them, such fun!
Good day at work was very busy and got a lot more done then I usually would.
Joined my local library and got a delivery of 6 new books aswell looking forward to going to bed to start one of them.
No cravings and felling good right now
Just finished dinner and watching the Europa conference final but looking forward to getting to bed.
Been on here has helped me alot the last few days been able to interact with people with the same struggles as yourself .
Hope everyone here had a great day and I wish Yee all the best
Congratulations on Day 3. I love the library and football. Who are you supporting in the football? I know I should be supporting West Ham (live in Herts) but they are one of our rivals so finding it hard.
What kind of books did you get? I used to be addicted to coming out with loads of books but seem to be re-reading favourites atm (and they would never be considered booker prize winners )
Ok, edit to add that I am pleased for West Ham. Family members will be very happy tonight and I am happy for them.
1031 days no alcohol.
496 days no cocaine.
11 days no vape.
9 days no binge-eating.
I went to a Survivors Zoom 2.5hr support group last night. I was terrified, but when I spoke, I turned my mic and camera on, and contributed some in the break-out room when we discussed the topics in smaller groups. There were so many similarities I noticed, the inner critic voice, the social anxiety, addictions, fear of men. I felt safe amongst them all though, there were 13 of us, and it made me feel like Iām not such a weirdo in the world.
Today Iām okay, I achieved my one goal of showering, and Iāve done both walks for the first time in 3 days. Some extra meditations. Having lots of food cravings but staying focused, same with vape cravings bcuz my patch is nowhere to be seen again.
Wow, well done. That sounds like massive progress. So glad you found a safe space.
Thank you for mentioning that book. Have seen it mentioned a few times and will order it as probably very true for me. The closer I get to my Grandmotherās funeral the less my body is working. I havenāt needed a walking stick in a year and determined not to use it tomorrow.
WOW - this is huge! Iām so happy for you and that you were able to speak with mic and camera ā absolutely incredible.
YES ā You are not alone and definately not a weirdoā¦ I think in recovery we tend to isolate ourselves more because drinking / partying / smoking etc are such a part of ānormalā society and we feel like we donāt fit. The longer we isolate the longer we think we are weird or abnormal - this is not the case and I am glad that you were around those that made you feel good and safe.
I do hope you find that damn patch or at least keep those cravings under wraps. SO VERY HAPPY FOR YOU!!!
Checking in sober. Iām in a lot of pain today so everything is extra challenging. And it triggers cravings but I wonāt drink tonight. I actually need to log back into work after dinner. I took the afternoon off and already too far behind. The depression and anxiety are bad. I feel like I hate everything.
)
that bike ride sounds lovely 
love your attitude though 
I hope your new sponsor will be much more supportive and available and that your sobriety will strengthen as a result.