Thank you and I agree I shouldn’t of taken it as personal as I did. I’ll probably delete that app tho, honestly just need to focus on staying sober
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Love love love Linkin Park, still miss them. Can’t believe its nearly 6 years since their last ever concert. I was there, I will always remember!
You keep it up nastya, your sobriety and your exceptionally good taste in music.
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Smart thinking. It’s a damaging distraction that you really don’t need right now.
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Today is day 32. Not much to say, just plodding along.
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Man. Facebook dating is the absolute worst (I’ve used it before).
But more importantly do you really think it’s a good idea to even be “talking” to people again? The last time you entertained a relationship it was the start of your relapse.
I’ve always had a soft spot for ya my man, but please just focus on your recovery. Whether you agree with this or not does not change the fact that you are not in the place to be worrying about relationships, hook-ups, or just talking.
You spin yourself out over this stuff, yet sign right back up for. Internet dating is a brutal place and if you’re not 
in a great mental and emotional place it will tear you apart.
Edit: saw you’re deleting it, but I’m still keeping this up here so you can hear it from many sources.
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Yes - please do so …deleting the app will be the best thing for your sobriety. Focus on you.
You already have so much going on atm besides your sobriety that dating /talking would muddy the waters 
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@JennyH thank you 
I hope today went as well as these things can 🩵:people_hugging:
@JazzyS thank you 🩵
@KevinesKay congrats on 8 months 
@RosaCanDo thank you 🩵
@Bones_80 I’m so sorry about all this pain you’re dealing with I hope there’s something they can do.
@Mno congrats on 4 years 
@Sabrina80 sorry things went like that 
but congrats on 250 days
@Misokatsu thank you 🩵
@Rockstar24777 I’m glad the meds are helping 
@Bomdhil congrats on your week
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@nastya_is_fighting I’m so sorry about your class, I hope you’re safe and okay now congrats on double digits
Stealing this 
@anon53116147 sorry about the dating app experience, people csn be awful, dont change a thing unless you want to. Congrats on your award
@mx_elle sending strength and love 🩵
@Butterflymoonwoman that’s so cool your son is getting a bike, and on his bday, I know he’ll have a good birthday 
1032 days no alcohol.
497 days no cocaine.
12 days no vape.
10 days no binge-eating.
Waited in for a delivery this morning, then drove over to my hometown to collect my meds. Bumped into my SIL and niece whilst I was there and although it was very brief, it lifted my mood to see them.
Had my phonecall from the mental health team. They decided to offer me a 10 week, personalised treatment plan, with a combination of compassion therapy, understanding and coping with trauma therapy, and hearing voices therapy. I opted for in-person sessions because I did get more out of those when I was having my long-term therapy with the eating disorder service. I’m grateful for the help I’m being offered. She said their turnaround time is quick so I shouldn’t be waiting too long.
The support worker from the social care team messaged me this afternoon asking me to chose one group from the long list I gave them, so I let him know I’m interested in the place where you can go to volunteer to do gardening and taking care of animals, as I’ve heard good things about that place and I know there would be people with similar challenges with their mental health.
I’ve also registered my interest in a ‘Calm Space’ Zoom group, which is about learning techniques to manage mental health challenges.
I’m also going to register for the recovery college, where they offer courses that help with mental health.
I’m feeling quite excited about all of it, like my world is opening up a bit. It is needed, and has been for a long long time, its time now.
🩵
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You are more than welcome to use that line anytime. Seens to me you dont need it atm.
I love this and feel it too for you. So excited that the health group has reached out and you are able to get the help you need. Gardening would be so beautiful. It will be a combination of working on you in the group but also connecting you to yourself through nature.
So very excited for you my friend… 
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Nah man I always appreciate your knowledge and wisdom. And definitely don’t disagree that I’m not in the place for it yet. I deleted it and just gonna carry on. Thank you
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My god, why be unnecessarily mean to someone like that? It really shows their immaturity, meanness, and superficiality. I hear dating apps are just awful anyway, they only help a certain kind of person (Instagram influencer types) and regular people just are made to feel shit on them. I understand feeling lonely and wanting some connection, but I agree that focussing on your sobriety is the best thing to do now.
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76 off weed
68 days off SLAA bottom lines
Been thinking a lot about both today.
I’m in comparison mode, like my sex/love addiction and weed issues are nothing compared to others peoples addictions. I’m feeling stupid for being addicted to and having issues with these things…my qualifiers birthday is tomorrow and i will not allow myself to even try to say happy bday to him. I want to forget it all ever happened. Im still going through step 4 with my sponsor but I’m ready to get to my amends with him so i can have the closure i never got and hopefully be past all of this. I miss the fucker so much and it pisses me off that i still do. There’s still a tiny part of me that has hope, but i don’t see it ever happening again and i need to let it go. I wish i could dig that part of my brain out where he lurks. See this is ridiculous, i should be over all of this by now…ugh it makes me sick
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Checking in 436 days 
Made it to Friday, heading into the office 
It’s been a much better week, and I’m so grateful for that. I had my counselling session yesterday and its been helpful to start unpacking all of my grief i never really had a chance to properly go through over the last few years. It’s no wonder I was drinking myself stupid. I’m feeling hopeful. Thanks to everyone on here that gently suggested I needed to start speaking to someone, because I tried just about everything but I just kept making excuses and thinking I didn’t need to talk things through. Turns out there’s just life stuff that is too big to just push through and keep moving forward. The pain stays with you no matter how much you exercise, get sober, keep busy. And it manifests in all sorts of ways.
So yeah, thanks for the people on here that have been so helpful and supportive, you all are wonderful. Have a great day friends
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Oh man that stupid comparison mode is a trap!!!
Its your addict brain at work again. You are doing great on working through your addictions. Cant really say what causes us to turn to our addictions (its different for everyone) - doesn’t mean anyones addiction is less than or trivial. We are all here activity working to diminish the addict voices and you my friend are working it.
Unfortunately healing and recovery are not linear. Keep doing what you are doing and you will get through all the steps. Nothing about your feelings is ridiculous
Be gentle with yourself and have faith in the process. We are here to support you.
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Things will bother us while they still hurt us. You can’t force acceptance. But you can make effort to try, and by doing the steps that is exactly what you are doing.
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Checking in still sober. My day got a bit better. Therapy helped. Did some continuing education for work this week and it was inspiring. Trying to process all of that. Thinking about what my core values are and how to align my life to those. What do I actually want in life? We are in the drivers seat of our own lives. Embrace change. If nothing changes, nothing changes.
And I had a successful shopping trip to the thrift store and got an outfit for my upcoming interview.
OFDAAT
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Checking in day 241.76
Got home from work early. Because my trainee didn’t show.
Gave me time to plant a few seeds. Hopefully in the weeks to come I’ll have some produce
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Cam, this all sounds simply wonderful. I am amazed at the variety of resources available to you. I just wish you could have gotten access to them sooner, but nevertheless this is a stellar lineup of therapies and groups and services. I’m very happy for you and look forward to hearing how they go!
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2.8 days AF. Thanks to those who helped get my brain back in shape on here and sharing your experience, strength, and hope. I was a mess earlier, spiraling, angry, frustrated, scared. One day at a time. Every time after I relapse it gets harder - so that’s more motivation and commitment to hang on this time. I haven’t meditated for a few days and it shows. I’m grateful that I have the support of fellow addicts because without you I would not make it!!!
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Checking in
Day 480
So my son and I went to his appt for the adapted bike. It was a real hike to get there but we made it and he got an amazing bike that he now calls his motorcycle. It is being delivered tomorrow. He is soo excited. Im just plain exhausted from the travel there and back. Its brutally hot here too so i got a bit of a sunburn. Its 730pm and im already ready for bed haha But im grateful for another day clean and sober. Grateful for new opportunities and possibilities! Hope everyone is doing okay today 
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