Day 19 sober
Today is my first orientation for a new job. I leave in 30min
Super excited but nourvous
I think I got this
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Loveeeee, I’m doing this from now on
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Checking in sober. Shoulder pain is a bit better today. But headache is back. Was at least somewhat productive at work and went for a walk at lunchtime. I’m just feeling exhausted and depressed. I’ve been sleeping worse than normal lately. Horrible nightmares last night. Everything is just so exhausting.
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Day 4 ended almost. In a retreat and learning from others
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Day 427.
I’m starting back at work today, working from home to ease myself into it.
I’ve got zero motivation, I’m normally at the gym a four days per week, working five days a week. This last fortnight, I’ve just really tried to slow things down and give myself a break so I didn’t relapse. I took the pressure off myself to go to the gym and swapped it with walking, I took some time off of work, and started these new meds.
I’m super fatigued from the meds, and I don’t have any drive to go back to work or the gym. I feel super guilty about it. I really hope I can pick myself up, gently get myself back into my routine. I think this week is a bit of a write off. But I didn’t cave, and I haven’t drank to try and feel better. Which has been my go to for years and years. This stint of depression has been a big test on my sobriety for sure. Because I expected that getting sober would fix my problems.
It did for a little while, and then life kept going and throwing things at me and I have to learn to cope and live without the numbing agent, long term as well as short term. I saw this quote online that really resonated with me in my struggle-
‘In a culture addicted to escaping, being sober can feel strange. Refusing to numb the pain of being human takes courage, and self-love, a noble determination. At first it may feel like a personal triumph, but in time, it becomes a selfless act, a guiding light.’
Thanks for listening, stay strong friends, I appreciate you all 
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Checking in Day 112 sober.
Worked outside all day. I’m exhausted and going to bed. Hope everyone is having a great day.
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Day 443
Been pretty anxious all day and I don’t really know why. Trying to keep my mind and body busy but I know I will eventually have to come to rest at some point today and will need to deal with whatever I am feeling. It’s a beautiful day with so many happy moments that I want to just enjoy but its exhausting to have this baseline of anxiety all day. So tired of being anxious randomly. This is the first random anxiety spike I’ve had while apart of this community and it feels nice to be able to check in and not feel isolated like I usually do. Going to focus on being gentle and loving with myself and just making it through tonight.
Thanks for being here, I appreciate this place a lot. I hope everyone is having a good day 
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Day
233 substance free
150 self harm free!
Feeling tired, but happy with the numbers on my timers. 
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@Bones_80 man you are doing so awesome – I am sorry that you are still struggling with this pain.
@anon74766472 Thank you so much for sharing your emotional journey – So very impressive
@Girlinterrupted so sorry for your loss. Great numbers – glad you are able to face this grief without turning to drinking
@MegaMeg I am so sorry for your loss. Congrats on day 2! Are you able to get some counselling to help you through the grief? Possibly attend meetings, change your routine(s) when you finish up with settling the estate. Wishing you the best on your journey – I do hope to see you around.
@CATMANCAM I am so sorry to hear about your depression today. I do hope you were able to call it an early night and get some rest. Hopefully tomorrow will be a brighter day for you my friend. Glad to see the patches are working for you.
@Noshame How was your 1st day?
@KarenKW is your therapist able to prescribe something for the depression? Depression alone can be super exhausting but with the lack of sleep the exhaustion can be crippling. I do hope you get some relief soon.
@Alycia I’m glad to hear that you are giving yourself some grace for not have the motivation or drive to get back to work / gym. Good on you for taking that walk. Do talk to your doctor to see how long the side effects from meds last – Hopefully your fatigue will be gone soon. Day 427 is super impressive and I know you’ve put in the work to get here. Just need to keep the healthy reminder that drinking will not lessen the fatigue or make you feel good in any way. LOVE THE QUOTE
@ChickenLarb it’s rough that anxiety is just creeping up on your so randomly.
After such a beautiful day I do hope you are able to have a restful evening.
Checking in
160 days free of weed and alcohol
575 days free of cigarette
I am doing alright – not the best but not the worst. I’m having severe pains in my right hand and numbing my arm (yeah – this is new)… I may have been a bit over zealous these two days in trying to get my life back. I’ve looked up PT for my hand and trying to do some exercises. My friend did drop off my new prescription sunglasses with a couple of vegan cupcakes – that was a nice treat. All in all a good day with little complaints and no urges.
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Thank you I did gratitude journaling and then just a giant brain dump. Between that and participating in the community tonight, I am feeling much better already. It’s amazing how much better things can seem when you just get it out of your head.
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so very true my friend - glad you were able to do what you did and are feeling better. 
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You are not fucked up, you are hurting. 
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Think I’ll use this too if y’all don’t mind.
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Thank you my treasured friend - yes I was 4 years sober yesterday 
what a ride its been but man am I grateful to be here today! Zero regrets 
Was planning to jump on today and post, yesterday was extremely busy and time just got away from me 
Thank you for remembering, may you always be just a few short days behind me my sober twin 
Thank you also @SoberWalker 
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Day 16 . Still find triggers are strong. Had to really stay strong today.
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Way to go… these trying days are what help us build our sobriety muscles. way to kick ass and stay sober for another day! ODAAT
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tonight will be day 455 of no self harm
feeling ok today. last night wasn’t great but I hung out with a friend. i got my CPAP for my sleep apnea today. it’s super uncomfortable and feels a little weird, but I’m hoping I’ll adjust. it’s one of the masks that just goes in the nose so the air gets pushed out your mouth and it feels weird. I’m hoping I’ll get used to it and end up sleeping great
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1,339 Days of Recovery
Hanging in. Watching Netflix with my 3 YO daughter before we go to bed. Oddballs is such a great cartoon. Looking forward to going down another 2 MG of Methadone this week.
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Checking in. Day 235
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