Ah, me too @icebear
I am going back to the UK for the first time in 4 years, and I don’t know when the next time will be, so after lots of procrastinating emailed old school and uni friends to meet up, but I am so anxious about it. I still have some meds left and might take then while I am over just to give me sone confidence.
@JazzyS thank you 
🩵
@Alycia I’m so glad you’re feeling hopeful again 🩵
@RosaCanDo I know, I can’t believe it, and all this is happening just because I spoke to a different doctor about my mental health than usual because my usual one was fully booked, otherwise it would have been another med increased to maximum dosage and no real change. It’s blown my mind to have received so much support so quickly!
@Butterflymoonwoman I’d love to see a photo of the ‘Motorcycle’ 
@GOKU2019 congrats on 600 days AF 
and for kicking the caffeine too
@Dmcg1987 congrats on 60 days
@SoberWalker I hope you do receive your parcels 
@liminal.rehab congrats on triple digits 
@JennyH I’m sorry you didn’t get closure 
@SoberMedic congrats on 2 weeks
1033 days no alcohol.
498 days no cocaine.
13 days no vape.
11 days no binge-eating.
Checking-in for yesterday, fell asleep whilst catching up last night.
I did wake up in a good and grateful mood.
But then I was feeling very angry all day, after receiving communication from a ‘friend’ who only ever messages me when he has something to boast about. He has become so arrogant and materialistic, we used to get on well, and now I barely see him as a friend at all. The anger turned into a touch of Psychosis, but after 3 meditations it finally passed.
I did both walks, my usual meditations. Watched one of my favourite reality tv shows, then I was here but fell asleep before posting.
Today is nice so far, at half past I am going to attend the trans, nb, and gq survivors support group on Zoom, for 2 hours, and I’m going to keep my camera on.
Wishing you all wonderful sober weekends.
🩵
Day 208
Sober, first of all. 
I have nerve damage pain in my upper body and arms. I can ignore it -and do -but it’s not nice having pain.
I still run and do stuff.
Anyway, yesterday I was put back on antidepressants for nerve pain. I’m trying to beat the wiped out tiredness I knew would come.
Still walked the dog 4 miles before it gets hot and I’ll stay awake to go and see Roger Waters in Manchester tonight! 
Checking in after a tea and breakfast burrito in the sunshine on my balcony, cat chasing flies! Have a wonderful sober weekend 
Awww i hope you will be ok, centre yourself and always check in here if tough 
Sooo many good inspirations about this topic here last days!
Much L O V E 
Day 252
I woke up early today without any headache
But I’m still exhausted, so it’s not over yet.
I went to the hairdresser, got some food and even mopped the floors.
I HAD to otherwise I don’t feel good. When I know the floors are dirty I can’t relax 
For the rest of the day I won’t do anything. Much napping and cooking later.
It’s too hot anyway 
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
Oof I know that anxious feeling all too well. Solidarity! I hope it goes well.
Hey all, checking in on day 1,091. I hope everybody has a good one!
Welcome back.
Thank you for the birthday wishes for him!! And I think i might give that program an honest try. I will take a look at it once I get to work 
Look at you gooooo!!! Way to go!
Update on the family visit. The day actually went well. We showed them where the amenities are and my husband cooked a bbq for everyone. No one offered me a drink. Which is good. But it also means my mom warned them beforehand that I’m in recovery. Which is fine. But it isn’t really fine. I wish I could tell my mom things without it being an echo chamber. While I’m proud of my sobriety it’s also my story to tell.
I also got irationally angry about some other guest here wanting to use the bbq. Luckily, the guy didn’t see me getting worked up, my husband dealt with the situation and I went away to do some food prepping and calm down. I’m getting really good at kinda managing emotions.
But yeah… the first day went well. Now I’ve retired to my air conditioned room to try and get some work done.
But first, I need to decompress.
This is really good to hear. You’re managing the challenges but they are also manageable to begin with and not the catastrophe that could have been. I hope it continues to go well!
Checking in. Yesterday went great and I felt very accomplished, doing a lot on my own after not being able to do much. Well, it went great until it didn’t. I crashed and burned pretty hard and I realize I overdid it. The result was me being a bit of a blubbering mess for a while, and I couldn’t really shake the feeling all evening. My mind went to some really not helpful or healthy thought patterns that I had to actively reframe. Doing that over and over for an extended period is exhausting but necessary. It’s my best tool when I start spiraling. But yet again I couldn’t sleep last night. Gastric distress on top of it all. Rough rough night but I managed 3-4 hours of deep sleep. I really need to take a look at what’s causing me to end up in these thinking traps and what else I can do to pull myself out of it or recognize when I’m on the brink. Even a cold shower didn’t stop it last night, I’m sure it helped though. I recognize the emotional/psychological impact that physical exhaustion has on me. Perhaps all it comes down to is that I can’t push my body too far or I end up here. I will make every attempt to keep an eye on that today, because I’m starting the day with not the best attitude so far. Still feeling weepy and in a general state of upset that’s hard to pinpoint, which just ends up frustrating me and making it worse. Clearly “crying it out” last night didn’t work. How to “snap out of it,” when I already know trying to snap out of anything isn’t the right approach for me. Spiral begins. Sigh. Deep breaths. Practicing gratitude. It’s a gorgeous morning. Nothing HAS to get done today. I can go at my own pace without judgment. We are going to spend time just enjoying the new place with no expectations for that time other than to grill some tasty food and have a bonfire. Lots of breathing exercises today are in order and possibly some guided meditations. I will be okay. I can tell myself that and believe it, so that’s reassuring.
It’s okay to not be okay for a moment, though, or to waver back and forth over that nebulous border. Hope you all are hanging in there with me today, amigx. Sending love
Good morning to all checking in Day 3. Stay safe and sober!
@Scorpn A huge congrats on your 8 months my friend!!! I do hop e you have a wonderful celebratory weekend 
@icebear I’m sorry you are feeling awkward – do know you are not alone. You are correct that all the alcohol provided was a “I don’t care” attitude but did not make the social anxiety go away. I try to manage smaller groups / crowds and have a safe space in any setting that I can escape to in order to catch my breath.
@butterflymoonwoman Yippeee – so glad that your son had a great birthday!
‘Couch to 5k’ – thanks @Alisa – I may give this a shot as well.
@amy30 Oh babe I’m so sorry – I do hope the anxiety subsides and that you are able to handle the company without messing up your zen. Do find your safe space in the home to escape to. We are here to vent to if needed. Just saw your update – glad 1st day went well! It is your story but sometimes I find relief in not having to explain my situation and just enjoying the moment. Maybe talk to your mom about how you feel for future events / shared emotions? So happy to hear that you are managing your emotions so well.
@nastya_is_fighting Oh I’m so excited that you will be with a different group of classmates next week. I hope that you are more relaxed and enjoy your school week.
@sobermedic congrats on your 2 weeks of sobriety! Way to go.
@misokatsu excited for your trip back to the UK – I do hope everything goes well and your reunion with your friends goes over nicely. It’s hard to not be anxious about it but do give it a shot. Sending confidence my friend!
@brian1965uk I know all too well about getting on with your life and day while dealing with pain – I am so sorry my friend. I do hope that you find relief!
Eureka – I do think this is the main cause my friend. It is hard to manage when you have so much going on and are naturally a go go go person but your body is telling you that you need to take it easy. I am so sorry for your crappy evening / night – I do hope your day is much better today
Checking in Saturday morning
It was a rough evening but I am doing better today. Started early with an airplane run and already gotten much accomplished already. I am going to stay away from any triggers today as I might be a little more vulnerable today (being aware of this and being on top of it is so amazing).
sending much love
Hurrayy Im a full week sober
7 full days
Yesterday was good
Got out of work late in the night lately but I get to go in during the afternoon on those days. Today is one of the days I go in during the afternoon and out late
I noticed I exost myself after the first 5 hours in. I think that’s pretty normal though. 8 hours a day is a lot
No cravings for pot or alcohol and I promised my wife I’d tell her when I’m craving and never ever go behind her back. So if I’m craving hard I at the least ask if it’s appropriate to smoke which the answer is always no and it helps hearing her say no. I take meds that do the exact opposite of THC so I get really weird when I get high.
I always see that there are good things that happen after I have a craving but stay sober. I call those signs and they always happen
Today I’m going to stay sober
Take care
