Checking in
Day 482
Really had a rough sleep last night. I was having some anxiety over a new relief nurse that will be starting with my son. For those that dont know, my son has awake overnight care every night which is done by LPN nurses. We have had a HELL of a journey with nursing staff (some falling asleep on shift, some not knowing basic tracheostomy skills, etc) so i do have some anxiety around having a new nurse in our home overnight watching my son. Im willing to give her a chance tho and she will be buddy shifting with our regular nurses so that will give her some experience. But if she doesnt do well or falls asleep, i will be doing her 2 scheduled shifts for her at the end of the month (which will be incredibly difficult on me but my sons safety is my #1 priority).
I was late for work this morning. I absolutely hate being late, but im here now and thats what matters. Thankfully my coworker was understanding.
Ive been really down on myself over my poor eating but im determined to give it my all this week coming up. Id like to try the Couch to 5k program that @Alisa mentioned and so i downloaded a free app to get me started. Will start monday when i do my workout. Excited to give that a try and run alongside my son while he bikes.
Recovery wiseā¦ i have been getting some small urges to use. But i have been staying conncected to my HP and that helps alot.
Hope everyone has an addiction free day today
Checking in sober odaat 
Wow huge congratulations on ur week clean and sober! Uv been really putting in the work 
Day 903
Met a woman at tennis yesterday evening. She was new at the club and was doing a barservice. Havenāt been totally honest with her. She recognized me from about 30 years ago. I her too, I chickened out, didnāt dare to say I was the one that had send her a valentines card back in the days 
. We had a nice little chat.
Greetz,
Rob
Way to go on 8 months!!! I am so extremely excited and proud of you! Hope the birthday party goes well
Day 1028
Iām so tired, Iām really using all my strength. But my body is giving me signals. All my back muscles were locked. Here and now, I just work like a duty person. I am tired, sad and worried. 
For 2 days my mind has been pushing me to a place for stop everything for a moment for relax
My mother is in the process of being treated for stage 4 Lung Cancer, she is no longer holding her waist down (paraplegia) .Itās hard to see her, lose her will to live. We do all the necessary treatments. We also have a nurse to take care of it. I Spend time with her at hospital and at home.
While at the Samet time , I also have to work and managing operation dept . You know , need to be financially strong to manage all costs.
BTW, I should not neglect my own family, my husband , my daughter, my son. And , I have to motivate my more emotional sister as well. Because she lives with Mom and Dadā¦.etc.
I need to be relax , but nothing is comforting me right now. ( walking , meditation, therapy ā¦)
My English is not perfect, I hope it was understandable. Itās good for me to post here. 
I am sorry you have to go through such a difficult situation and I hope you can find some rest. Even if it is just in the form.of getting it out here or take a deep breath. I wish you a lot of strength! 
Itās always a houner to hear your words of encouragement
Thank you
Have a good rest of the day
Take care everyone
Day 
I was feeling a bit depressed so it was hard for me to write. Itās been 12+ hours already since last drink. I only drinked one left over beer from yesterday. It was a can of Grimbergen (you know the one with Pheonix logo) - I Hope I will Rise like Pheonix now.
So yesterday I did not even wanted to Check-In. I was feeling so weak again and depressed. I know Iāve been in much much much worse places, but still bad is bad and when you feel down everything looks high enough to you to climb. I only drinked few beers yesterday to cut down the edges and did not even opened the last can.
12 hours already. Was feeling quite bad. I cleaned house from all the empty bottles everywhere. They where hidding everywhere; In tool box, in jacket pockets, boxes, kitchen air filter locker 
all around every corner. Got little walk. Watched some TV. Ate some cheese. Some Ice Cream.
And You know what - I am finally smiling 
Oh cāmon cut this crap.
Itās a trap. Itās an energy draining parasite. It sucks your life.
A Damned loop.
ā¦and the only way out is to stand out from it.
Be conscious / Be Alive / Live - Not Just Exist / Act from Heart / We are not robots / Donāt be a slave / Act NOW / Donāt sleep / BE AWAKE! / Be Here / NOW!
Congrats on your first day. First day is already something. 
Ehh, these depressive shitsā¦ I know them too much. Sending big hugs! 
I hope so too, but I do not think so.
But both sellers promised me my money back, so thatās a good thing. And today I wrote a complain letter to the postal service (yes, you read it right! A letter! 
I didnāt got the option to mail! Stupid organisation).
To be continuedā¦
You have been around here for a long time. Are you ready to try a new approach to sobriety?
First of all, sorry if I insulted You while drunk few days ago, Friend. I was wrong and understand why my account was put temporarily on hold. Sorry again and everyone involved in that.
Yes. But please do not open this discussion. Just please dont. 
Welcome to the forum! Congrats on ur 2 days of sobriety!
Day 903
Second check in. I procrastinated on opening the hospital app with the results of my thyroid blood test. I did it at last.
So here we go again, from a slow working to a fast working thyroid. Iām restless, low muscle tension, easily irritated and depressed again and much more symptoms. It seems to be a never ending story. I want it to stop, itās messing up my head and feelings. I hate the energy level I have nowā¦.this thyroid can FRO. Have a call on Monday with my doctor, itās gonna be a lovely call. Iām furious and need to let it out somewhere, but donāt know weāre.
Welcome and congrats on 2 days! The first few days are the hardest so stay strong and keep up the hard work 
in on my 26th day sober, all of my friendes, well a have just a few, are reunited, drinking, coz today its the final of the UEFA Champions league.
Times like this makes it really hard 
and depresive too.
Celebrating day 246
Day 34. Wild night in lying on the sofa watching Champions League final 
Youāll be fine bud. Football and alcohol donāt have to go hand in hand.