Day 252
Itās 3:30 am but I felt the need to check in now to get that off my chest.
I chatted with a friend for almost 4 hours.
He needed someone to talk to and of course Iām there to listen and maybe to help.
Mid-Chat he went like āI need a Vodka now, thatās the only way I can handle this rnā
For a second I was jealous, Iām honest.
I thought āI would want that too, just one to turn off my brain like he doesā.
But in the very next moment I thought āBe honest, that wouldnāt help one tiny bit. Youād get drunk and after that youād be depressed AND sick. Time to handle problems the hard way, the only way. Soberā.
Iām in a good, stable place no worries.
The way he did behave reminds me of how I used to be.
Iām grateful to be here today, sober and clean without the urge to drink.
Good night fam, see you tomorrow 
Checking in
Day 482
Today has been okay i guess. Had some moments. Work went well. But heading home was overwhelming. I was way over stimulated with the amount of people on the bus. It was jammed packed full and i was getting irritated. I found myself a little corner of the bus and tried to remind myself of all the things im grateful forā¦ even something as being grateful for my little corner of the bus where i could just stay until i had to get off the bus. But i started getting overwhelmed and got this intense urge to want to get high followed by tears in my eyes, bcuz i know i truly cant. I just felt so tired of being an addict. And in all honesty i dont want to get high. But in that moment i felt like i needed to. This just goes to show me that thoughts are just thoughts. And to treat those thoughts like a floating cloud. Just passing by. I feel okay now. But it was pretty intense there for a bit. Glad to be clean and sober 
hugs TS fam. Hope everyone has a great night
sending you a big hug! Iāve been there (more than) a few times myself. And i know these thoughts can feel super overwhelming. I am so proud of you for pushing through and making it home sober (and safe!)
Lots of love my friend 
@zzz welcome back
@Noshame congrats on your week 
@Scorpn congrats on 8 months
@Sunny11 Iām sorry youāre going through this, sending strength š©µ
@completely welcome 
congrats on 2 days
@Bones_80 sorry for your pain congrats on 200 days though
@soberbabee0607 welcome congrats on 4 days
1034 days no alcohol.
499 days no cocaine.
14 days no vape.
12 days no binge-eating.
The support group was okay this morning, there were more people this month, 5 survivors, 2 facilitators. One person was really rubbing me up the wrong way, and they did on Tues eve as well. Tried to ignore it, but the biggest thing was, they were openly smoking weed during the zoom, knowing that 3 of us were recovering addicts, and kept jumping in and going off topic and making sweeping generalisations, and also saying very detrimental things to a person who is currently trying to get sober from alcohol. Regardless, I stayed til the end, and I kept my camera on for the majority.
Today has been very hot where I live. 29āC. I find it very difficult to walk in such heat, and have to go very slowly, I get chest pains too, but Iāve got a spray for when that gets bad.
I did two very slow walks today and I do still like being outside, I just have to be careful.
I had a nap this evening, with my curtains closed and my big fan on, daytime sleep always gives me bad vivid PTSD nightmares, but luckily my grounding technique worked quite well.
Now, Iām feeling calm and ready for sleep.
I hope youāre all having wonderful sober weekends.
š©µ
Went to pride today! Had a blast! Spent time with my bonus kids and got to show my support for one of them who recently came out to their mom. I was so happy that she didnāt react negatively 
This day was filled with love and happiness.
Oh and itās
Day
244 substance free
161 self harm free
Good evening all, checking in on day 660. Been a busy few months but things seem to finally be settling down for the moment. Been doing a ton of improvements to the house and really feeling good about it! As some in here know that read it last year my wife and I experienced a miscarriage. Iām blessed and privileged to be saying that my wife is in her 2nd trimester as of today. Mama and baby are very healthy and we just continue to cherish every day we have. We will know the sex on Monday so that will help me in preparing the nursery a little more. We arenāt very color specific and are planning on owls for the nursery theme. Very nervous on how I will handle this all. Iām overly protective as it is and adding a child is only going to make it worse Iād imagine. And Iām always thinking what if I pass on this alcoholic gene. But have told myself we will cross that bridge if it comes and have just been enjoying everyday! Hope everyone takes care and stays safe.
No, going down on my dose not affect my emotions negativelyā¦It actually makes me extremely happy, proud, & hopeful. Iām so ready to be off, but it takes time.
1,350 Days of Sobriety
Just wanted to check in. Had a day that was filled with a lot of anxiety.
Day 3 sober from alcohol - checking in
I made it, bringing head sober on pillow another night. Itās always great to realise that in the morning.
Will have a nice outdoor swim this morning and then a barbecue, chillout and some gardening at my parents.
I want to start with recovery dharma again.
As i didnāt realy add a regular programm until now.
Much love 
Day 15 nearly overā¦
Today has been a test for sure.
Work can be a trigger for cravings and where I worked today was at a club that has a bar. I could see people outside drinking beer and socialising. Some of my students were chatting about drinking and socialising.
I came home and zoned out on tiktok only to be bombarded with people drinking/drunk.
I got that āmissing outā feeling, but havenāt touched a drop
2 Months and 10 days 
Kinda stressed and anxious today, but I cleaned and walked and stayed sober. My counselor has been away on leave, so sheāll be back Wednesday, which will be good for me.
Got some blood work done. My cholesterol is a little high, Iām sure due to drinking followed by eating whatever being sober, plus having some weight to lose. But hey, my liver is fine! WhooHoo!!! Iām looking forward to putting cleaner food into my body. Oh yes, and low vitamin D, so supplements have been prescribed.
Trying to seriously commit to a meditation schedule is a big goal as well. I do it sporadically, but I donāt think thatās enough. At least once a day and hopefully more.
Might be going on a short trip to Washington State sometime in July. I havenāt been on a real trip in a year and a half.
Thatās basically it. Goodnight everyone! 
Here it is @Justlex
Hope to see you around here often and that it helps you as much as it has helped me!
Boom!
#Day 1726 
Had a busy day at work yesterday. Hope I can have some āme timeā today but half of the day is filled in already and my house looks exploded
Today? Meeting friends, going to a museum and having lunch somewhere together.
Have a good sunday all, donāt do anything I wouldnāt do
Safety first next time, please. What a view!
@Kelwooo keeping my fingers crossed for you, that you and your feline friend will quickly have a new space to live in 
!
@Marc3 over one month now, thatās huge! Especially the first 30 days were the hardest for me, but also the changes to life were the biggest, with so much more available energy and joy of life. Enjoy the ride 
! Also congrats to you, @TheWolf!
@Catmama23 sorry to hear you had to break up with your sponsor, but sometimes thatās the best choice to make, to find someone who is a better fit. Sending you strength, I believe in you, that youāll get back on the waggon soon.
@K_smile 4 months, thatās huge! Congratulations 
@Amy30 I can imagine how beautiful it must be to start the day off early with a coffee and the sea right in front of you. You well deserve it and congrats to sticking to your āearly birdā plan 
@nastya_is_fighting sounds like you not only found the right boyfriend, but also a well-fitting family as a bonus . Hope your mother will be okay
@RosaCanDo good to hear the itching is nearly gone and youāll have some first aid at hand, if the bugs trouble you again. All the best for your move, enjoy continuing your sober life in a new and unencumbered location
Checking in on day 166, vacation just started. Today weāre going to take the cats to their hotel and tomorrow weāll start the trip to first Nuremberg, then Southern Germany and finally Italy. First sober vacation in the last 10 years 
.
Sending you all strength and positive thoughts 
1464
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
First late shift in quite a while still had me waking up at 5 this morning -as is my usual now working early ones- but luckily I managed to sleep some more. Many work related dreams. Not bad ones.
Hot outside. Taking it easy today, including work that is. Thank god Iām not under the illusion that drinking alcohol would quench my thirst and cool me down. Never again. Itās ginger lemonade for me.
Pic is the view form my workplace at dusk. One of the reasons I liked working there when I started a year ago. X
Day 148
First, thank you @Alisa @Mno @JazzyS @Misokatsu @RosaCanDo @Misokatsu for your throughful replies and to everyone else for being here as my safe place to vent and talk about this challenging time. I know it sounds a bit overdramatic, but my family are the biggest threat to my sobriety going. Second only to my own mentally ill brain.
Ok, Iām not having a good morning. I woke up too late, the family wanted directions to the beach, my husband was going to the laundromat, the dog needed walking. Now Iām sat at a seaside CaffĆØ, having my first coffee of the day and trying to get centered. The view helps but I havenāt made the bed, I havenāt showered and I didnāt get a chance to meditate.
The day started inside out and Iām grumpy. And itās Sunday, most shops close early, but my family turn off their mobile data while not using the villa wifi. So thereās no way of letting them know theyāll struggle to buy food later.
I normally donāt have to worry about food, because my husband does all the shopping and cooking (I do the cleaning!). So now Iām over worrying about other people needing to eat.
My husband is right. I need to chill and stop parent-sitting. But the underlying constant stress is hard to beat.
Soā¦ yeahā¦ these were the daily ramblings of a grumpy newly sober person. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday.