I feel so angry! In in my last 60 days of preparation for my tournament and yesterday I have torn my quadriceps and groin muscles playing with my kids.
Thankfully it’s not torn from the bone so surgery isn’t needed but it means I have to miss at least 6 weeks of my final 8 weeks and I may not be 100% for the tournament which is really upsetting. I’ve prepared and worked hard for this for 5 months, lost close to 35kg and transformed my body and mind to prepare myself to be ready and one little freak coincidence has possibly cost me the opportunity to win back my European Championship.
Feeling gutted and in a lot of pain, however the hard work is going to continue. God saw fit to grace me with 2 legs and an able body and mind, so I’ll keep the rest of it working hard, allow the injured leg time to recover and hit it hard when I can.
If I’m not ready or able to compete when the time comes at least I can say in myself that I did all I could. Anything more than 60% and I’m competing, the adrenalin and my competitive spirit will give me everything else I need!
Thank you every one who has passed on condolences, its nice to be away but tough on my wife and our friends, I have been through this more than i’d like to have been my coping skills are good.
My wife is a very epathetic person so shes hurting deeply.
This shows me how far forward I’ve come come also have not even wanted to pick up and hit the bottle.
This will continue as we have a funeral to attend friday and catching up with a lot of people we havent seen for a long time.
Heres a few more pics of this beautiful place, I’m very thankful I get to call Aotearoa/New Zealand home, I’ve been in the South Island 10 years this year
Ah yeah, russophobes again attacked me with not nice messages. I almost had anxiety attack. Why people are like that… Why they hate each other for so not important things like gender, sexuality, race, nationality… I will never get it.
Anyways my mood is now better because I had drums lesson, which a lot help me to control my anxiety or angry issues. So yay!
#Day 1734
It’s stupid…having a stress day because of going to a concert
This is the first time ever that I experience this. Not the being anxious, but having it before going to a concert.
It’s a huge concert because going to see Beyoncé.
50.000 people! Going to park outside Amsterdam and walk to the crowded area. Glad we love walking But beside I think it’s going to be just fine I’m still anxious about the “what if’s”
I hate it, It’s annoying.
Morning check in. Happy Father’s Day to all of you and to your father’s. It’s beautiful out here today, me and the pups were already at the park for a run, now home and everyone else is still sleeping. So sitting outside with more coffee, enjoying another nice clear headed hangover free morning. Hope you all have a great day
Have fun @SoberWalker … study the drinkers should you wish and be glad you’re not partaking! Have fun. I can’t see you really drinking a beer or wine. It’s just your junkie messing w you. Tell it to FRO.
Thank you @Scorpn and @CATMANCAM… it is such a new strange experience to go through an argument sober. Normally it would have started while I was drinking or it would have been an “excuse” to drink (as if I needed one!). Since I didn’t drink:
the argument didn’t escalate
I was able to get perspective and realize I was overreacting
I was able to identify why I was triggered
we were able to talk through it
As a result, I woke up today sober and with a limited “emotional hangover”
This might sound silly but this is a whole new experience for me!!
@Scorpn sadly it was just a big chain, but I want to explore some of the independent bookstores around here too! I love everything about books and bookstores, that’s my happy place I bought a ton of books too, stress shopping
@BrOKenWolf your attitude is amazing! That is real strength I’m sorry to hear about your injury though!
@2JTravNZ these pics are jaw dropping… I’m sorry you and your partner have to go through this
@Cjp how did the concert go? That can be so stressful when alcohol is everywhere
Day 1,101 clean and sober today. It felt really good to be back at work yesterday. I missed the clients very much and a couple co workers lol. I am definitely in the right field and am grateful for my job, I guess I really just needed some time off. Self care is key in my recovery for sure. Have an amazing day everyone, love you guys
But beside I think it’s going to be just fine I’m still anxious about the “what if’s”
I bought a ton of books too, stress shopping 
I’m sorry to hear about your injury though!
