You are inspiring!
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Checking in on Day 2, feeling hugely positive today. I am so proud of myself for facing my fear of exercise and trying something new. I know I am risking a crash, but I donāt want to live my life being controlled by my chronic fatigue anymore. I have had it a decade and canāt remember what non fatigue used to feel like. It was one of my major triggers (self medicating the fatigue), so need to tackle it.
Having said all that, it is a big meeting at work today and the mental load that goes with that always leaves me utterly drained so will need to be careful.
@Mno that storm looks really scary. Do you get storms like that often? Glad you stayed inside.
@EFountains congratulations on your 10 months 
@JazzyS Thank you! And I find gluten is a major trigger of my fatigue. An intolerance test flagged it and I noticed a difference as soon as I cut it out.
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Day 173.
Ok, today Iām feeling less anxious about work. I finally managed to get up at 7 am, had my coffee, meditated and getting ready to talk the pup. I definitely feel a lot better about myself when Iām up earlyā¦ Itās weird when I think about it. It wasnāt long ago that getting up at 1 pm was normal for me, now I class getting up at 9 am as oversleeping.
Actually functioning on the daily instead of being a contantly hangover waste of space comes with its own set of challenges.
@JazzyS Thank you so much for asking, Iām in awe with how much care and thought you put into replying and offering support to people on here. And yeah, Iām kinda more chilled now.
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Summer storms are rare. I actually just read on FB this one was caused by chemtrails and some radio telescope near London. 
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Hahaha, well that is one theory! We are near London and havenāt spotted any radio telescopes sending out waves your way.
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Checking in sober one thing Iāve learned trying to get sober on my own willpower never worked I always went back to drinking my alcoholic brain would say it wasnāt as bad as you thought you can have a beer you will control it this time a support group is crucial my best thinking always got me drunk I need to share that thinking with another alcoholic if I donāt do that and work a program I will drink Again thatās one thing Iām certain of hope everyone is well and staying sober odaat 
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Another milestone!
Iām loving this new life 
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Day 586
Still not feeling like sharing anything but I have realised that by openly criticising others for not supporting me when I needed it and then not being here to offer others support when they need it that I was being a hypocrite.
I am many things but I am not a hypocrite.
I still feel happier keeping my things to myself, it might be a while before I open up and reach out again but i am here to support you if you need it.
Sending strength!
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8
Checking in on day 8ā¦
Realy made it there.
I have some triggering procedure with my job contract going on next weekās. Donāt have a concept now, how to resist this, despite of staying a calm poker face anyway.
FUCK ALCOHOL 
Much loooove 
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#Day 1752 
Yesterday there was a big storm overhere like @Mno already mentioned. Nearby my house a tree fell on a lady and she is badly injured. The trauma helicopter came. I hope she will survive, but I have a bad feeling about it. It was a big tree.
It was in the same street as where I almost got hit by a tree a few months ago. So thatās why this news hit me by a truck.
Glad it wasnāt me, but feeling sad for that lady as well.
I walk there a lot, it was destiny I was at work yesterday.
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Yesterday was a lot hard.
I all day argued with my boyfriend so I was outside whole day. I didnāt want to argue with him even more. Then at train station I wanted to something not really good, but my system, which I discovered yesterday helped me to not do. Stas asked me if we can just be in tran and drive somewhere, so we can peacefully talk to each other. I did it. It was fine.
Just now Iām realising I really needed my boyfriend, he decided to drive away as well and even didnāt reply on my messages. But at least my system was here for me.
They will always be for me from now. It makes me smile when I now typed it.
When I came to house my boyfriend still was somewhere. So I just waited until night. When he came back at night I started to yell at him what the heck he did and why he is so late at home. For unknown reason I told him āyou again were with your FEMALE friends?ā. Suddenly I was angry at him and so lonely. I donāt have so much friends, honestlyā¦ While he has a lot. Most of them are females, which trigger my mommy issues and whatever something else.
He was quiet and it seemed he want to somewhere go or say that we will break up, so I just started scream with tears to not leave me. Please do not ask me what the heck is with meā¦ I either donāt know.
I think I made him scared because he looked at me really worrying and started to calm me down. In this moment I felt likeā¦ A kidā¦ Abandoned kidā¦
Today he decided to leave somewhere in sone little city for some time.
Basically we have now hard times in our relationship. I understand why he will be with himself right now. Having fucked up partner with traumas isnāt really easy.
But here I am. Still sober. Still alive.
I hope everyone are okay.
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@EFountains Great job 
@Mno Wowzer 
Hope they can tidy up the park soon.
@TheWolf Nice work! 
@nastya_is_fighting Relationships are hard. 
Sending peace.
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Hey all, checking in on day 1117. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Yeah, they are. Also thank you a lot.
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1059
Lovely surprise when I got out of the shower. Massive cockroach chilling on the wall 
Husband was out, so had to deal, trying to keep my towel wrapped around me, daughter screeching like a Banshee and son playing David chuffing Attenborough (Did I know cockroaches are the same family as praying mantis?) Anyway, it is in cockroach heaven now.
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So i hope i am in the right spot. wanting to do a daily check in. This is day 10 for me! I always seem to have a little trouble around the two week mark, but positivity is on my side. Great full for 2nd, 3rd and 4th chances in life! I will never give up. My kids as well as my self deserve better. Need to get a daily routine time established, and support. Looking to find positive vibes here!
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You beat me!
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234 days.
Nothing to report. I guess thatās a good thing. 
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Just keep reminding yourself what you want and what you donāt want. Give yourself focus.
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