Dude, glad you are checking in. Yes! You are so needed here I was here four years before finally getting sober for good, ODAAT. You never know how much these contributions can make a difference in those that are struggling.
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Day 12. Started work at 7am (i work from home alot)
Now 13.30 and i have done everything i had hoped to today. Thatās my sober brain, it can focus and get things bl@@## done
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Day 8. Feeling pretty good. Just checking in.
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Love this and love the how you are making so many positive changes in life ā setting and going after your goals. Super awesome.
@GenG I think the one thing I learned from giving up my DOC is that Iād neglected my self-care both emotional and physical. You are doing amazing in getting back on the horse ā take the time needed to regain the strength ā hopefully more solids for you today.
@efountains My goodness- 10 months is amazing! You are kicking ass 24 hours every day.
@TheWolf Way to go on your 60 days!!! Well done my friend.
@jennyh love the positive attitude ā hell yeah bring on day 2! Wishing you all the best in dealing with the fatigue. I have had to give up gluten in the past when doing elimination diets (multiple times) but it feels different this time as Iāve also had to cut out so much other stuff ā I havenāt seen any major changes but been told it takes 3 months to get gluten out of your system ā so we shall see.
@amy30 I love the early riser shining out in you more and more every day. You are absolutely taking charge of your situations and handling them head on ā this alone will help lessen the anxiety. Thank you for saying so but I think we are all doing the same ā this site is filled with so much support and caring (I may seem a little louder because I have so much time to check in these days). Love this community and am so blessed to be a part of it.
@dmcg1987 you are not alone ā we have all had that conversation with our addict brain and we have all lost when we gave in. You are right ā willpower alone will not help you stay sober ā I do hope you are actively participate in a support group (irl or online) ā stay active here and start making changes in your day to day activity ā wishing you the best on your sobriety journey
@brokenwolf so good to see you back and I do hope you are recovering well from your injury. Sending you strength right back my friend ā we are stronger together.
@juli1 Damn ā Day 8!!! You rock on with your Fuck Alcohol mantra! Sorry that the following week with work is going to be a bit stressful and triggering ā you are in control love! Know that once you finish off with this bit you will be able to pursue what you want and not have to deal with this BS any longer. Just know that drinking would never make any situation better. Do some deep breathing before the meeting(s) ā You are stronger than the addiction.
@soberwalker thatās intense news ā I do hope that she is okay as well. Grateful that you are safe ā mother nature can be such a beast at times
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What? Really ā I did not know this. Iām sorry but I was laughing a bit too hard reading this ā Iām glad you were able to take care of the bugger and sorry for your morning scare.
@TTStarz welcome to the check in thread and yes ā you are absolutely in the right place. Well done on your 10 days. Knowing that the 2 week mark could be a trigger ā are you doing anything to help guide you through this? You mentioned routine and support ā hopefully you are able to get both set up for yourself and also some distractions (games, workouts, tvā¦). Sending strength to you
Checking in on Thursday morning
Feeling good enough today - good enough to get out and get some errands done. Just finished my cup of coffee - may have another 
Hoping that everyone is doing well and having the best possible day - lifeās too short and we need to take advantage of each breath! Sending much love my lovely sober friendsā¦ 
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Exactly in the right place! DOUBLE DIGITS!! WOO-HOO!
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Made it through the night without binge eating. Yay. Thatās night number 4!
Day 1393 Alcohol Free.
Happy Friday Eve yāall!
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Youāre completely right. Iāve definitely ignored self-care for myself. I put others first too much. Itās a bad lifelong habit probably learned from my mom (who is very self-sacrificing). Thank you 
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Glad to see that youāre still plugging away. Almost to double digits. Youāre doing great mate.
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Day 3 from alcohol. Not that bad! Anxiety has improved. 
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Hello everyone! Sober today, even though there were some triggering convos yesterday. As i suspected my trigger list may be ālongā, but the switch to drink is almost all around trauma (it is somewhere in every trigger). Spoke to my husband about it and he noticed it as well, felt good to talk to him about it also.
Sometimes it feels like I am repeating myself but that is okay when you are working through a problem, trying to live in/find a solution.
When my daughter passed, I was filled with a lot of positive feelings (which I was not expecting). I felt her presence, I knew as painful as it was she was so sick and I knew that if she was meant to be here, she would be. I had some grace and peace come over me, and from work I have done on the past hurts and life stages in my life I felt a trust in the fact that something would come from her death, from this experience (the way I felt it in my heart something would come from her). A thought came to my mind one day when feeling her presence in nature, that she would give me my freedom. Now I didnt know what that meant, but since she past 3 years ago I have come to see this to be true in life.
The way my sister died and the entire process around her death is entirely different from what happened with our child; where what a parent goes through when they lose a child is trauma, that doesnt necessarily mean they will experience Trauma or PTSD. I dont believe I experienced that with our daughter, but I have experienced the big T and just recently acknowledged PTSD since my sister - I knew also that the court processes (family and criminal) around her death, that are still ongoing 1.5 years later, plus navigating her sons life all continued the trauma and these institutions are a practice in inflicting 2ndary trauma on surviving families (I have continually repeated this to these agencies and institutions and the sad thing is they are well aware, and the most common explanation we have heard and the title of the damn book if I ever write it is: āā¦thats just how it isā¦ā.
I knew feom what I had been thrpugh and then again experienced through our daughter, that something will come of my sisters life and death - if we are open to it. But I have to say, it has been hard to āfeelā it the same way. There has been a hurricane of business, the abrasiveness of court meetings, the fight for help, the children & trying to hold the house togetherā¦there have been the circumstances, which thinking about how my sister died is something I had to shut off when it would pop up or the switch would go and Id have a few dribksā¦sometimes more then a few.
It was much later, probably around the time or a bit after my nephew got here that I felt that feeling. What my sister would give me was: Myself. I could cry as I fwel that so strongly, I have wanted so badly to honor her life and to build something beautiful around her as she deserves. She doesnt deserve the ruin of her family members, or to watch us dispair and never healā¦she was a joyous, kind, hilarious, GLASS HALF FULL MEANS ITS ALL FULL kind of person. She was unabashedly herself, and not in an asshole way and she never put people down or spoke badly about people. I want to heal so I can be open to recieve the gift she is holding for me, and then in turn I will be able to give it bavk to her.
Anyway, sitting in the garden my husband built for her and our daughter. Took me until my sister died to pick an urn for our little girls ashes, and there are some that did not fitā¦maybe today I will plant them innthe garden.
Wishing you all another 24. Life is hard as shit spmetimes but it is also perspective. The way we look at things had the power to change everything. I wish for anyone going through a hard time, that you are able to go through it and that you see the āmiracleā (for lack of better word?) come with time. Im not saying we have to suffer to appreciate life and get gifts, but a group of wonderful people (AA) taught me tjis and it gives me strength and hope during the hard days that span years.
To another 24 & thank u for being here!!!
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Also, side note the āanxietyā Im feeling is that in drinking 3 cups of coffee straight away inthe morning 
Sometines weāre looking for the BIG answer when shit is as simple as CALM DOWN WITH THE COFFEE Have a great day everyone!
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Day 278
Today was awful. Why is it always such a Drama when a Dr office closes for summer holiday?
Damn. Everyone is in a hurry now, needs an appointment now and jadajadajada 
We still havenāt been able to find a new employee so of course we canāt do the same amount of work like we used to. And guess! Nobody gives a flying fuck.
So today I gave my boss a rude answer after she told us to finish everything by the end of next week. We canāt! Period! There will be patients who donāt get an appointment on time. Their eyesight will decrease! Itās too much!
Okay, enough ranting.
Looking forward to something delicious to eat, then be lazy or read something.
Only tomorrow then 3 weeks off!
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
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I thought I better check in here, to stay accountable.
My head is not in a good place, sober positivity seems to be fizzling out. I am under constant stress at the moment, and to add to this my husband and I will be trying to buy a house at auction next week. Weāve had such difficulty trying to find the right house, housing stock being so low. Itās a very sought after house, and area. We might not get it.
Iāve been doing so well on my sober journey, but in the past two weeks I have been losing momentum. I donāt have much down time, and my sleep has been terrible to non existent. My eldest (21) asked me last night what was wrong, and I just came out with so much stuff. I thought it would help by airing some stuff, but it hasnāt, and now heās worried about me. Iāve jokingly said a glass of wine wouldnāt fix anything, but it would shut the noise up in my head. My worry is I may be leaning towards the idea of this. I feel like my sobriety is at risk.
Sitting here with my rosary beads in hand, which normally give me so much strength. But the negativity, pessimism, and anxiety I feel have reached the limit of what I can bear. Itās like something has snapped, and now I just feel numb.
Goodness, thatās such a depressing post. Sorry, I had to put my mind junk somewhere. Almost 76 days sober 
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No excuses Binx. Iām glad youāre here and glad youāre posting. Thatās what weāre here for. Thatās what this place is here for. Weāre in this together.
I understand and I feel you. But again, youāre here now for a reason. Youāre using one of your sobriety tools now. Good work. Now letās find some more tools to use. Just be absolutely sure reverting to your old coping mechanism, back to drinking, will bring you nothing whatsoever. Just more anxiety, more pessimism, more negativity and more depression. No way Binx. Youāve been there. Weāve all been there. Not going back to that. We quit going there because we learned that doesnāt work, it will just put us deeper in the hole.
Thanks for coming here. Together we can do this. Big hugs.
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Day 43, Iām feeling pretty good. Had a good group this morning. I caught myself having some negative thoughts about my essay last night, I just tried to redirect them and get back to positive thinking. I do still think i did good, I felt proud after I wrote it and I felt a relief after I wrote everything too.
I also signed up for a tattoo contest on s beginner Paige Iām apart of, itās American traditional and if I win I get 80 dollar gift card so thatās cool. Iām excited, the rules are obviously thick lines, red, green, yellow, black and minimal shading. They put the same design out for everyone. I put together the colours quick and Iām gonna post it my tattoo Page, if anyone could take a look and tell me what you think of it and what possibly could be better or maybe is off with it lmk. Anyways got another group coming up much love everyone
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AH Binx - much love my friend. I know youāve had a lot of lifey crap to deal with especially lately but you have been super strong and positive. We all go through all lulls of positivity and if not careful this can fizzle out like youāve mentioned. Youāve got what it takes an you know deep down that a wine glass will not shut up the noise ā it would take a lot more than that to knock you out and for what - to lose your sobriety, wake up feeling like shit and still having to face reality (sorry to be harsh) - nothing good comes from our DOC. you are kicking alcoholās ass every day - 76 days ā R U KIDDING ME - look at you now. Think back to day 1 and how you were feeling (emotionally, physically and mentally) - how far youāve come not just for yourself but all of us here.
I do think that being more active here will be beneficial for you at this time to get your mojo back. Lean on your faith (rosary beads or prayers or going to church - what ever works for you) - if possible, reach out to a support group also. Like @MNO said - now lets find some more tools to use.
You are stronger than this my friend - iāve seen it and i know youāve felt it.
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Thank you so much Menno
Just the common sense I needed to hear. I know drinking wonāt fix a thing. I felt really awful posting all of that, but I knew I had to come to TS and lay it out there for all to see. I do not want to drink, I know alcohol serves no purpose in my life. You mentioned drink was a coping mechanism, and youāre right. Youāve triggered a thought process in meā¦ If I feel this way, then something has been neglected. I have not been coping, but didnāt give this the attention it needs. I need to deal with this another way instead of just suppressing the urge to drown out stress.
I know it must have been a depressing read, but Iām grateful to you that you did. Thank you Menno 
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Thank you Jaz, for being you You give out so much of your time and attention to everyone here. How lucky are we all to have you?
Youāre so right. I only recently gave out advice that itās much easier to keep going than it is to start all over again. Starting again is painful. Youāve just reminded me to go back over my earlier diary entries. Iāve been lost in this fog, it never occurred to me to do that. I know if anything will get me out of this funk, it will be reading the horrible first days. My reasons why Iāve given up.
Iām still quite busy with kids, but Iāll make it my business to get on here as much as I can. Thank you my friend 
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I donāt consider that self-sacrificing, but I understand what you meant. When you start healing in recovery, you start to learn that not taking good care of yourself (mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually), you canāt serve others effectively. Itās so good to see you. Iām very proud to be on this journey with you.
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