Day 14. Fasting 20 hours today, getting hungrier by the minute 
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Day 18, we have folks round for dinner who i donât know v well and i am struggling to find conversation as everyone is drinking and im watching kids tv with theirnkids !
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Day 22: no credit cards
Day 711: no pills
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Checking in, still sober!
For those like me who struggle with intrusive, negative thoughts or memories any tool that can keep you in the present is really helpful.
So Iâve started using the Merlin bird ID app. Available for android or iPhone, it uses your phone microphone to listen and tell you what birds are nearby.
Up pops a name and photo. You can then save your birds on a map in your âlife listâ. Itâs just lovely. It keeps my mind from being cluttered with unpleasant stuff.
Iâm learning what different birds sound and look like, becoming absorbed in nature around me, and not dwelling on bad stuff.
Anyway, I thought other people here who suffer with living in the here and now might like it as a tool too.
You can download a bird database for your region of the world. Enjoy!!
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SÄ hÀrligt att du komm tillbaka. Vi har saknat dig hÀr. Alla bÀsta med den hÀr nya början!!
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@Gazaman87 welcome 
congrats on day 1 
@PrisVanAdis congrats on 2 weeks
@Kareness congrats on 2400 days
@Chosen2001 congrats on 40 days
@Ania congrats on triple digits 
@GenG congrats on double digits
@MrsOdh welcome back, itâs good to see you checking-in
@Wakikki congrats on 1.5 years I hope the appointment went well
@SelfLove_42 congrats on 2 weeks
1066 days no alcohol.
531 days no cocaine.
46 days no vape.
3 days no binge-eating.
I think having the sugar at the cinema had itâs effect on me, as I really struggled to wake up this morning. I wanted to still do my morning routine before going to the course, to wake myself up, so I got a taxi on the way there, rather than the bus.
When it was my turn to share my story, I raced through it without hardly taking a breath. Took me about 60 seconds I think. 
Everyone else did theirs with ease, for longer than 10mins each, it put mine to shame. So Iâm left feeling incapable and inadequate, and reminded that I donât function like other people. Thus perpetuating the depression Iâm feeling.
Iâm okay. Tomorrow I have my shot first thing, so I need to be up very early to do my morning routine and drive to my hometown for it.
I checked my online account and yesterdayâs blood test results are already back, everything is fine, and my blood glucose was only 38, so thatâs quite unbelievable, but it shows me that Iâm doing better than I think and feel that I am.
đ©”
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Hej, hÀrligt att se sig ocksÄ. Detta blir en ny bra start kÀnner jag. Har ett lite bÀttre startlÀge Àn sist ocksÄ sÄ detta blir helt sÀkert bra. Glöm inte uppdatera mig om allt jag missat sen sist. Hoppas allt Àr bra med dig.
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Thank you. This time Iâm hopefully here to stay 
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Thanks @CATMANCAM 
.
That bit about rushing through your story in one breath is exactly how I would be. Public speaking/group sharing of any kind is so hard for me. But you DID IT. Thatâs something to be very proud of. Try not to be hard on yourself (easier said than done, I know). 
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Okej, jag ska berÀtta sÄ kort som möjligt:
Jag trÀffade en man i sista Är, vi blev i kÀr och giftade oss i Maj. Jag flyttade till östra Finland var han jobbar. Jag fick ocksÄ arbete i en livsmedelsaffÀr. Mitt liv Àr helt annorlunda nu.
Om du har tid, kan du lÀsa allt pÄ min thread.
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Tack för uppdateringen grattis till giftermÄlet, flytten och det nya jobbet. Jag ska absolut lÀsa ikapp pÄ din thread. SÄ underbart att höra att du har det bra.
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Thanks, Iâm going to take a look at this 
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Iâm so sorry that you are feeling this way! in no way are you incapable or inadequate - please shove those thoughts/ feelings out! You my friend are remarkable and have made some serious strides recently. I am so proud of you. Many and i mean many have anxiety with public speaking. I find that talking in front of a group of more than 2 people gets to me (even if i am friends with them all). You wrote it out and you got up and spoke it in front of a group of relative strangers. Well done! baby steps.
Congrats on your blood glucose results! Yeah to actually seeing the progress that you are making!
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@timetochange wow friend â family staying with you for 6 nights â you got this! Hope you are able to have a great time and stay sober. Stay strong!!
@mrsodh welcome back! Absolutely correct â we can not beat this monster alone. Grateful you came back here for support. I do hope that you are also seeking support irl (meetings, sponsor etc). Wishing you the best of luck on your journey â we are here for you!
@brokenwolf Grateful that you were able to see and support your son in his musical â love the array of talent and drive. Grateful you posted your updates â I was a bit worried that you may have overdid it with the work outs today but seems that you had an amazing workout!
@amy30 Hopefully the air conditioning is working properly for you this time. Celebrating at an arcade!! That is absolutely fantastic. Love hearing of milestone celebrations. Yes â 6 months is pretty big and you should be super proud
@bomdhil welcome to day 16 my friend! Love your drive and energy â do hope you are enjoying your holiday with family. I did have a wonderful time with my cousins â so grateful that I did get a few chances to visit with them while they were here.
@anon53116147 You are doing great Mike and donât let you mind start creating doubt about school or anything else. You have the passion to learn and Iâm sure you will succeed. Grateful for the positive affirmations â those are a life saver. When do you do your final submission of the tattoo? I do love your coloring and think the judges will too. A laid-back day recharging my battery today. Nothing exciting.
WOW love that is amazing â I do wish you all the luck in getting that self-love and respect and therefore finding the discipline. Above all your self-worth comes first and from there all else can grow. I think you are battling your addictions head on and doing amazing. Keep fighting and you will see success
@brian1965uk thank you Brian for the link. For me I surround myself with comedy and laughter. Once I start feeling a wee bit better I pray / meditate and do positive affirmations. Sometimes if they are persistent, I try shouting / screaming loudly and dancing like a fool (it really helps me focus on living and keeping the negativity at bay).
Checking in Wednesday eveningâŠ
203 days no weed or alcohol
618 days no cigarettes
been a bit of a hard day but i was able to take a nap and also watch some comedy and spend time with my brother. Looking forward to a more productive Thursday - i am fine just doing nothing tonight.
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Checking in still sober. I donât know what else to say. Itâs just OFDAAT. (@Soberbilly)
I tend to isolate when Iâm struggling with my mental illness so donât feel like saying much right now. But Iâm here reading and wishing you all the best.
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Thank you so much
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Congratulations on your extremely hard work!
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Checking in on Day 514
Today has been somewhat of a hard day for using thoughts. I did everything that i had in my recovery âtoolboxâ. Everything from playing the tape to the end, to reminding myself of the consequences of using, to reminding myself of WHY i quit in the first place, to telling my using thoughts âNO!â, to prayer, to self care (nice hot shower), to eating a good meal (tacos), to distraction (laundry and baking), to deep breathing, to using essential oils and candles. It was alot of work today to tame those thoughts. I just dont understand why these thoughts have come up more often lately. For the looooongest time i was not faced with all this. And i know that my mind lies to me, so the lies of âoh i can handle oneâ or âmaybe a drink would be okay since that wasnt my DOCâ are just that⊠lies. I am still clean and sober and this is how i will end my day.
Other than dealing with thoughts, i did do a huge grocery shop for the home. I also baked 3 - 12" cake layers for an order i have to finish tomorrow. Im excited to see the finish product. And tmrw i must exercise bcuz its a way for me to release pent up energy. It helps in my recovery sooo much and i didnt exercise yesterday or today. I do feel better now than how i felt earlier. I am grateful for this community. Sooo grateful. And grateful to God also for always being my rock. I hope everyone is doing well today. Much love
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Sending you a loving hug my friend. You absolutely killed it in using all the arsenal in your recovery toolbox. I know you keep busy being around for your son and at work but do you have time to sit and chat with friends - just to bs about absolutely nothing.
On days / weeks when I would work all alone and not have anyone around to chat with i found my thoughts were always in the danger zone of negativity. Do know we are here available to chat if you ever need to just bs or whateverâŠmay help keep the using thoughts away.
Strength your way to get up and exercise in the morning so you can start the day off positively.
Congrats on getting your cake order completed! one less thing to stress about and hopefully get a good nights rest.
Much love my friend! 
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