Checking in. Day 281
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Checking in day 2
Maintain focus in the morning to bring head back sober back on pillow tonight.
LOVE 
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Day 22 
sleep still abit elusive. Planning our holiday late September. Visitors have gone and its great to get the quiet back.
Today off to a local vineyard as its farmers market. I will pick some wine and cheese up for my partners birthday and some lemonade for me. Other than being tired i feel pretty focused and responsible
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Day 17. I am going crazy. Silently falling apart in my mind.
I sprained my ankle very badly. Now I canāt go for my walks. The only thing that was keeping me sane.
My CPTSD mental issues have also started acting up. At times like these I scare myself. I have incidents where I have no self control and the fallout is usually very unpleasant.
I need to visit my shrink. I donāt want to. The after effects of the meds are really bad.
I can talk to my wife, but I usually end up scaring her. She is a normal average person with normal problems. She tries hard to understand but nobody can really understand.
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#Day 1761 
Home again. Had a good holiday, read a lot, walked a lot, but eat a lot more 
So I gained a few pounds.
Ready to go back to intermitting fasting.
Today? Some housechores and a walk.
Also decided to start a daycounter (again) for my sugarintake.
Welcome here @Genf and well done for the
weeks sober! 
Have a good day all 
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Iām sorry that you are feeling bad and you canāt use your walks to help you feel better. Do you have a good āclickā with your therapist? Why do you not want to go? Maybe the venting with him ore her would help getting the emotions out a bit? I hope you find a way to feel better 
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Congratulations @SadMemeQueen on the 500 days and going forward!
SO happy for you, and proud of you!!
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thank you 
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Congratulations 
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1069
The weather is in the high 30s today and tomorrow, and I have poor circulation which often give me heavy painful legs, but in the heat it is so much worse. Today I literally want to cry it is so uncomfortable. Iām also really grumpy, and snappy with others, my husband and daughter just tell me straight Iām being unreasonable, but my son is so sensitive (I suspect rejection sensitivity, common in people with ADHD) and so attached to me he gets really upset, literally screaming and crying, and then I get more annoyed that I have to be so careful when I am in pain. It would also help if my husband would turn the AC to lower than 29 or get it put in the bedrooms. But at least I am sober. Dehydration would make this so much worse.
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Day 300 AF
Not much to report been quiet long weekend.
Still here still alcohol free. Odaat.
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No matter what units you are on C or F. None sounds comfortable inside.
Do you have ceramic floor or something. I like lying down there and maybe putting your legs on the wall. I feel for you.
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I am so sorry you are in so much pain. Then being overly hot certainly doesnāt make it anything but worse. Iām sorry.
Iāve lived in very very very hot areas without air-conditioning. A cold shower helps cool the body temperature down. You may have to watch your water consumption in the house.
Wetting a shirt, wringing it out and putting it on damp has helped me. Sleeping with a damp towel on top of me has helped me.
Iām so sorry that you are in this situation where you are in pain and hot.
Hugs.
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Day 97 checking in
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1499
Sunday morning having my coffee. Aināt got much to do today. I feel like not doing much either so thatās cool. Windy and cool outside. Got some TV stuff to catch up with. And watch the Tour de France. Stay sober. Will take care of tomorrow when it comes. Have a good day all, or at least as good as you all can. Sober and clean. Love.
Pic is showing an artwork called āstille strijdā or āsilent struggleā that is currently traveling the country, asking attention to depression and suicide amongst young people .
@Genf Welcome to Talking Sober and this thread! Hope youāll find your way around and find this place as supportive as I have.
@mewmcmew Hugs Crystal. Sometimes hanging on to our sobriety is all we can do for the day. Good days and less good ones. Staying sober through them all in itself gives strength. X
@SadMemeQueen Huge congrats on 500 days Megan! 
@Scorpn Bounce bounce ladies!!! Enjoy!
@Pagan Sorry friend. Hoping you can find some help with your stuff. Please be absolutely sure drinking wonāt help with nothing at all, it will just put us deeper in the hole.
@Misokatsu Hugs Flo. Healing thoughts and vibes your way friend x.
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Iām here, Iām alive and Iām sober.
Day 4.
Still raining and about +12 C here. Iām not happy about it. I want some warmer weather and sunshine.
We had thunder tonight,a lot of Thunder. I love it,but my hope that it was going to get warmer after disappeared when we got the same cloudy, windy,rainy and cold.
Iām starting to panic a little bit, work start in 4 weeks. And I havenāt even got the wonderful summer holiday feeling yet. Where everything feels like a breeze,the nightās are warm endless and bright.
The feeling of next adventure waiting around the corner, and that everything is possible.
Sea Salt in your hair, on your skin, ice cream at the beach. Canāt even be at our pool because of the weather.
Also Iāve put myself on a sugar detox today, checked my weight today. I knew Iāve gained some pounds but didnāt know it was that much (5 kg itās about 10 pounds)
Bough myself candy for the same amount of money I wouldāve bought champagne for yesterday,ate half of it, felt ill like you do when youāve had to much sugar,swore that Iāll never buy pick and mix candy again. And then I felt miserable because I canāt drink champange or eat candy. So I went on three walks, forced the family to join me on the third one. We had a good time, but had to make it a really short walk, my husband can barley move after a car accident in December.
I really want to be that classy person who pours a glass of red wine to the pasta Bolognese during Friday nights, och pair the sea food with the perfect white wine. Or for Christ sake pour that champange to celebrate whatever it might be.
But I canāt, I know I canāt. Because it doesnāt stop there, Iāll have a glass before I even start making the food,paired with snacks, a few glass while making the food accompanied by music, and then the rest of whatevers left after dinner, paired with even more for dessert and more in front of the tv. Until Iām all out or until Iāve passed out.
Iām mad at myself for it, Iām mad about the weight gain, the crazy amount of sugar I usually eat,the weather and just about everything else today.
Not a good day. Not a good day at all, thatās also annoying, I planned to become more happy more loving and more satisfied with life staying sober again. Iāve done this before, I donāt remember it being so hard. Or me being so down. This time I donāt even have a lot of other shit thatās weight me down,I even have a plan forward. It doesnāt seem to help.
Next good news, I got accepted for university again I need to become a licensed teacher to keep my job. Next year there will be a change in the school system, my village have decided that everyone who works in the school needs to be licensed. For now you donāt have to be if you work with 5 y/o as they arenāt really a part of elementary school yet (only in my village because they have some integration idea) Iām hired on that ground. And with the promise that Iāll try to be licensed.
Iām missing one class to get into the ārealā teacher program. Math, the city wonāt take me so I can get ny math class because itās basically for people who havenāt finished school at all. And I already have two useless PhDs from University. So I had to search a teacherās program where math isnāt needed.
In my country I could choose from Music teacher,Arts teacher,or ironically enough Home Economics teacher. I chooses home economics and got accepted.
So if I start Iāll be a licensed Home Economics teacher within a few years.
Itās just one Problem with that. I just read alm the classes and litteratur weāre supposed to use. Itās on a level that feels like Iām in 7th grade. The litteratureiat is basically a list of teen and kids books. Iāve already read them all, some are from my favorite writer, I know every line from those books in my head.
I need that license,but I donāt want to waste three years, working less and have a 3 hours commute to Gothenburg every day and not learn shit.
My answer if I want to keep my place at the program or not has to be in next week.
I could take a chance and turn it down, but thereās no guarantee theyāll accept me next time. And no guarantee that they donāt change the rules for being accepted and I might gonna need that math course for next time.
Sorry for babbling, but you are the only ones who actually might listen. My husband has heard everything a million times by now, and he is Deaf in ine ear so he only listen to half of it anyway. 
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Seems like you have kinda the same feeling for today as I do,and the same weather. Love the statue,but please tell me more about the building in the background. It looks beautiful. A museum? Government building?
Hope your day turns out good. 
Best Wishes from Sweden.
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Same here, with the mood and gaining weight (also something around 5kg).
Today sucks.
But at least Iām sober
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The square is called Museumplein, and the building is the Rijksmuseum, which is our national museum. Lots of 17th century Dutch masters there, including some of the most famous paintings by Rembrandt. Love that place. My elementary school was housed temporarily on the square for a year during a big renovation, and I spent many lunch breaks inside the museum having my sandwich. Almost 50 years ago. I still visit the museum at least a couple a times a year.
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Iām not perfect but I am sober! Checking in.
Happy Sunday people.
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