Sounds like a nice day.
It’s not a bad thing to get fixed up for a party or gathering either.
I always do, it’s half the fun.
Won’t go the the hairdresser though. My aunt is a hairdresser and all my childhood and until my late teens I ended up with a haircut she thought I would look good in. I didn’t got to choose.
Sense I got old enough I’ve thought myself how to make my own hair, color,perm, cutting so I do.
Have been at the local hairdresser once,and I swear I can make my hair better in my sleep. Don’t know where she got her license but probably in a package of cereals somewhere
I feel you with the rain. It’s still raining here (Sweden) vacation week 4 with heavy rain. And I’m so sick of it.
@Butterflymoonwoman I think it is when you value yourself and want to look after yourself you want to eat right, abstain from drugs etc. But when something is going on internally, and you feel a bit shitty, then you want to self soothe, or self destruct.
@mx_elle congratulations on 5 years , and lovely shoutouts to all your friends on here.
Back from a day at Fuji Rock . I saw the bands I wanted (Idles, and the Yeah, Yeah Yeahs). The site was beautiful, my son played in the river and looked for insects. He decided he wanted to see ALL the little stages, cafes etc dotted around the mountain side, we basically did, there were some paths beautifully and artistically decorated, especially when it was dark, the lights were very atmospheric. But we walked so much my legs are so stiff today! We went on a bus tour and I can’t sleep much in vehicles, so I came home and had a 4 hour nap.
Most importantly, I wasnt even slightly tempted to drink, even at a music festival. In fact it looked nuts. Why drink something that will make you more dehydrated and want to pee, and then have to queue to pee, and give you a headache when the heat and noise would make it worse. It just seems totally illogical. Tea and sports drink gave me so much more energy and refreshment. I am sure I enjoyed the event more sober. I also remember it, which is more than I can say for my previous festival experiences.
My brother and I agreed that we’re not going to see each other for a while now.
We agreed in a friendly way.
It was fun to hang out, but now we bother need some space.
And I as usual want the sense of freedom. Knowing that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want.
My husband wants to go back to his old hometown in Sweden tonight for a Rockabilly/ Swedish Greaser meeting and cruising with old American cars.
I’m not really in a mood for that . Hanging out with drunk Greasers while being sober doesn’t really feel that much fun.
But on the other side, ly husband will be sober as well because he is going to drive. (Unfortunately we don’t own an old American car,those cars costs more than a house over here)
And I know the boys will love it, so we’re probably going anyway.
Unfortunately I don’t own any Greaser outfits nowdays which I used to do. My village it’s 50’s themed and host a big greasers meet every summer.
But I’ll probably fit right in with my new Cowboy hat anyway otherwise I’ll simply do a Rizzo and wear all black.
What a triumph! This makes me so happy to hear, for both of you. It sounds like you catered to your son’s wants and you’re a good mum for helping make the experience a memorable one for him. Hope you can be gentle on your body today and do some stretching! I hear you on the realizations regarding drinking at shows or festivals. So dumb. I used to spend more time doing all you described than actually enjoying the music. Thanks for sharing, that’s wonderful.
Checking in day 3… some I committed to for the first 30. Feeling better and completely out of the fog of war. No desire to drink today.
I’ve been thinking about my pattern and I’ve made figured some things out. Every day is a school day. I’m committed to 11 months sober and I’ll discuss more about that in the coming days.
Regret and flashbacks ect are part of this process I know but they will soften as the days pass.
Here’s to another 24
Haha, that made me laugh. It has taken me to 42 before finding a hairdresser that I like. I only cut my own hair in lockdown and it isn’t one of my gifts, OK for Zoom calls but not once people could get close again Before that it would easily be a year between cuts. You are so lucky to be able to do your own.
Yes to being sick of the rain. It is raining here again now after our brief reprieve. I am going to have to change what I am wearing and accept my hair may not be swishy for long!
@Misokatsu That festival sounds like an absolute blast! I’m trying to visualize you enjoying that whole scene while son engages with nature. Wow. And to yeah yeah yeahs.
@KarenKW I don’t have the intense chronic headaches that you have to deal with, do I’m not minimizing that at all by saying this heat sucks. Headaches indeed. I’m heading to Barbie movie this afternoon to get away from it. I hope you have a very peaceful weekend with lots of hydration and rest.
Day 13. Last night the cravings where tough. I got off work early like 2 pm and it was friday. I just felt like I should be drinking. I need to find a hobby to fill my extra time with.
Just needed to make my 2nd check in for the day.
After a lot of discussion back and forth we’ve finally agreed on going to Daftöland on Monday. Staying on a small Norwegian owned camping we found a few years ago just by the Swedish/Norwegian border.
It’s usually us and all Norwegians there. No luxury in anyway, but everyone are kind and helpful. And it’s family owned.
I wanted to go all summer, I want to go every year.
Daftöland is a Pirate Themed Theme Park. But all the boys wanted to so this year was High Chaparral. So we agreed on doing Daftöland now and High Chaparral when school has started during a weekend in the end of August instead.
As it is now we’re only planning on staying one night, but we said that if we feel like we’ll need more time while there we might extend it to an extra night.
Best of all, it feels mean to say this but I’m going to do it anyway. This year my mother won’t be coming with us. She’s been with us at Daftö every year since the boys was small kids.
Feel a bit like a bad guy for not even telling her that we’re going, but my heart feels so light for not having her pushing me down on another vacation.
Checking in, sober here! Not here as often but still think of you every so often!
Life has been going well. 500€ (!!!) raise, good relationships, enjoying life, therapy going well, minimal anxiety, good work-life balance, reading, going to concerts, loving my cats, going to the movies, swimming, amusement parks. Good times but also enjoy the small things, especially touch from friends - can almost swear it has healing power to have someone caress my hand or back and if I have some low times, I accept it, give my self some compassion and ask for support. It is okay to feel all the orange of emotions as long as I don’t hold on to it.
Buuuut health issues have been quite rough on me. Have been to the hospital 3 times of which 2 at the Er. Blood thinners at the ER and doctor because of suspicion of blood clot, increased meds, back issues have gotten worse because of my fear of exercise rn (breathing issues) etc. So just needed to get back to very basics and have to start approach it with similar mentality as when getting sober: one day at a time and gratitude. And then, do what you can and accept what you can’t. Trying to get back to whole foods plant based diet with no or minimal coconut or palm oil. Easy exercises, biking everywhere, walking, doing chores and playing with cats. Will increase with time and with support of my psychologist. Trusting it gets better.
Checking in for days 777 and 778. Date night with the wife last night. We went to an Irish pub and then a local handmade ice cream place. I had this crunchy honey spicy ice cream. It was phenomenal. Spicy ice cream!! Absolutely brilliant. Then we went for a nice walk along the harbor. It was good to have some adult time to connect.
Today I am enjoying a quiet hangover-free morning with some lovely coffee and sunshine. Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend!
Had my first gym session in months earlier and I feel absolutely amazing for it, planned on an hour, was in there for 2 and then grabbed some lunch at the café.
Few chores to do then getting a bath and chilling with a movie and steak dinner later. Happy Saturday everyone!
It’s already a huge step being able to express this.
It took me so long to see this little part inside of me. The biggest part was and still is to see her as waht she is (in my case) and never leave her alone again. I’ll have to take care of her now. It’s my job which I should better not deny.
Checking in to maintain focus. Woke up early (530) not by choice but my pups insist on M-F schedule even on the weekend. Hot lemon water and then a yummy smoothie for breakfast. Laundry is done, folded and put away.
Enjoying the cloudy day in anticipation of a possible monsoon this afternoon. Grateful for the slight cooling in temperature.
Task for today is closet purge. Looking forward to it.
Checking in so I don’t check out. I’ve been hurting these past couple of days… the depression bug hasn’t lifted. I feel alone and just kind of gross. The negative self talk is back with the incessant question of why we’re even trying? I know it’s my addictive, stressed out, lil monster trying to save his existence but it’s freaking gnawing at me. Doing everything I’m supposed to but day 19 is starting rough. Gonna try guided meditation again but this empty lonely feeling needs to go.
. Actually, no, stop trying, do. Yoda style.
. I saw the bands I wanted (Idles, and the Yeah, Yeah Yeahs). The site was beautiful, my son played in the river and looked for insects. He decided he wanted to see ALL the little stages, cafes etc dotted around the mountain side, we basically did, there were some paths beautifully and artistically decorated, especially when it was dark, the lights were very atmospheric. But we walked so much my legs are so stiff today! We went on a bus tour and I can’t sleep much in vehicles, so I came home and had a 4 hour nap.
otherwise I’ll simply do a Rizzo and wear all black.
Before that it would easily be a year between cuts. You are so lucky to be able to do your own.
to yeah yeah yeahs.
Not here as often but still think of you every so often!
and if I have some low times, I accept it, give my self some compassion and ask for support. It is okay to feel all the orange of emotions as long as I don’t hold on to it.
hasn’t lifted. I feel alone and just kind of gross. The negative self talk is back with the incessant question of why we’re even trying? I know it’s my addictive, stressed out, lil monster trying to save his existence but it’s freaking gnawing at me. Doing everything I’m supposed to but day 19 is starting rough. Gonna try guided meditation again but this empty lonely feeling needs to go.