Yeah!
I just meditated about a shell
And now I will pack my things for a swim.
Connected materia 
(although no shells in the pool but so what!)
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Day 303
The shit hit the fan, today we were missing 50% of our staff. The reasons are sickness (one who is sick every other week) and holidays that shouldnāt be planned how they are planned.
Iām sick of this, really. I got a little loud today because weāre literally drowning in work and get only little help. We still donāt get new staff, itās ridiculous. Nobody wants to do this job any more.
So Iāll do the only things I can, besides breathing. I want an appointment with our Managing Director and Medical Director to talk about this situation.
Besides that I found lots of jobs Iāll send my application to. The situation is so bad that there are now headhunters who find jobs for medical assistants and tomorrow Iāll hopefully have a call with one.
The situation at my office wonāt change. The coworker whoās sick every other week wonāt change. The Dr weāre working with wonāt change.
So I must change, for my health and sanity.
Rant over 
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
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Iām day 12.79 no vape/ciggs
Day0.23 sober from weed
I talked to my wife and I told her no more weed for me
She said if I feel like it hurts me to stop and to stop be4 it bites me in the butt
I need more online meeting; I canāt get to a in person
Iāll hit one up today after work
No ciggs/vapes
Can be tough
Sometimes I crave but so far so good
Tomorrow Iām going to the 2mg lossinges from 4mg.
Wish me luck
I need it
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That situation sounds so stressful, Iām sorry to hear it. Iāve read posts about your job before, and was going to suggest leaving, but you beat me to it. I hope something comes from one of your applications x
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Congratulations on ur 1 year!!! Way to go!!!
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The only thing I can do is leave although I love some of my coworkers. Weāre a great team but the situation wonāt get better. The company I work for is the problem, not us.
Iām watching this since months, as you said.
Now itās enough.
Iāll talk to the managers and if they tell me āWe want solutions not complainingā then this is the final drop.
Itās their job to let me be able to do my job.
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Just keep swkmming. Literally just watched Finding Nemo last night with the kids. My son had never seen it before so it was pretty cute. 
I remember hearinf that my brain was a dangerous place to be alone. Im looking at why now, and like I said i went deep before and just wanted to be done with that. But as a mom now and so many years laterā¦of course I have to go over these things again.
I truly truly believe that we dont let things go. The big things, they stay with us. And even when we heal them, different stages and changes in life will or may bring them up in new ways. Because they are a part of us. And I learned this a long time ago, and was just like wait the fuck a minute we dont let things gooooā¦they dont GO anywhere. We heal, we make sense of, we come to understand, we find our own peace or not. But the big things are part of us, they do not go. Now I am just have to actually face that understanding, and I think I didnt want to RIGHT NOW bc I am dealing with my sisters death and all that comes with it, so it is justā¦it feels like too much. But its not, becauze its here anyway, its all part of my triggers and I have to ride it. And keep myzelf in the hands of you peopke, the one I pray to and those who when Im down pat me on the back and tap my chin up.
Be mindful of those who dont clap when you win. Be mindful of those who arent there when you fall. Ive just got so much to be grateful for. Sounds like you do too. And some fear around who we are inside. Hope to get to know my scary parts (but oh i wish i didnt have to!!) LOL
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Youāre perfectly right Sabrina, it sounds crazy. I feel you talking about your team and donāt wanting to leave them. But you have to take care of yourself in the first place. Itās really sad that companies donāt care about the staff. And if they donāt learn you better leave. Good luck!
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This is awesome and glad to seeing you being so diligent in fighting the battles ā day 5 is amazing!! Keep up the amazing work and Keep adding on them days
@aybee Love the numbers ā thank you for being a great inspiration.
@mrsodh I absolutely loved the pirate look. I love that you are pre-school teacher ā you have the energy and lightness of a kid (so full of love and adventure). OOH ā now Iām excited to see more of your outfits 
@andrea4 WOW ā 1 year of sobriety is amazing. Well done and keep up the amazing work!
YES ā I love this for you. Hold onto this feeling. You are doing so much right and doing so great on working on yourself ā you should be proud.
@sabrina80 my goodness it sounds like a shit show for sure. You are right that nothing at work will change and I am grateful that you are making the change happen for your health and sanity. Sending you strength in getting through today and luck with your calls / applications.
Checking in on Monday morning - it is a rough start but iām happy that i am going through it sober and without any urges. We will have our ups and our downs but we can manage them on lifeās terms and come out stronger because of it. I am wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day - sending much love 
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Thank you!
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@noshame wishing u all the luck in the world. Good idea in increasing the online meetings. Im sure that will help
@Sabrina80 wow ur workplace sounds incredibly stressful! Im glad ur considering change for ur own sanity. Hope the rest of ur day is better
@anon53116147 im reallt excited for u too! Hoping all goes well tmrw!
@SelfLove_42 congratulations on double digits! As well as on ur other timers! I think ur doing very well
@amy30 i hope ur able to get some rest and recuperate. Sounds exhausting working non stop 
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Grateful and humbled for every moment of these 60 days clean and soberā¦
Excited in seeing how God is moving in my life
Blessed that my Ant and Uncle believe in me
Thankful for this community and the support
Motivated about this new seasonā¦ODAAT 
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tonight will be day 517 of no self harm
I donāt think I ever posted about my concert but it was seriously the best night of my life I had so much fun.
anyway, since I recently turned 21 I have to go get a pap smear today and with my past of SA I am actually terrified. I woke up and have been shaking all day itās 11:38am and my appointment isnāt until 4pm. gonna be a long day.
so there are next to 0 psychiatrists in my area. the one I saw for almost a decade retired. my primary care doctor agreed to prescribe my psych meds as long as there arenāt any changes.
well Iāve been having a lot of stomach issues lately and I thought it was just a side effect of surgery. but I realized my anxiety manifests in stomach issues and Iāve been much more aware of how miserably anxious I am all the time. my concert was 3 hours away and the entire drive there my stomach was killing me because I was convinced something would go wrong.
I promised my friend Iād start looking into a psychiatrist so I could adjust my meds but I canāt find anybody who takes my insurance who isnāt hours away. I could do telehealth but my insurance wonāt cover telehealth exclusively Iād still have to make the drive every couple months. so Iām not sure what Iāll do.
I applied to some elementary school teaching aide positions so if I get the job I absolutely need to figure it out no way I can work like this
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Day 49. The want for cocaine has almost completely disappeared I can do this. Bleaching my hair to change its color. Finding constructive ways to feel better.
2 days til my final goodbye. I know heās gone, I know heās my angel know I just wish I could wake up and it all be a terrible nightmare.
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Always good to hear from you Megan. Congrats on 517 days. Huge number. Sorry for the psychiatrist situation. Iām sure youāll do whatās good for you. x
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@JazzyS and you, thank you both
Yes itās a stressful situation and Iām able to handle that because Iām sober, and thatās why Iām still happy in the end.
I wouldnāt be able to be this strong while drinking
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Day 
Decided to totally quit smoking cigarettes as it is nothing but a paper soaked with tons of harmful chemicals. Going back to running and preparing for long runs motivates me even more as it just an nother roadblock to my dream. At the moment I will not force myself to quit occasional cigar or a pipe as I can calmly smoke one or two on weekend or through all month and have no problem with that. I know it would be better to quit it all at once, but I donāt want to overdue it as it can ruin my main sobriety goal - alcohol addiction; that dramatically affects everything else. It ruins everything to pieces, my goals, my motivation, discipline, ruins all other sobriety goals, happiness; it kills time and most importantly it blocks our connection with Higher Power.
Day 2
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I can say now for certain that the heavy feelings have lifted. I have to remember how much the heat affects me, it is just something I donāt tolerate well. I also donāt like being cooped up inside so much. After a weekend of nicer weather and time spent outside I feel rejuvenated. I remember times where I was uncomfortable or unhappy and all that I could think of to help me was a drink. So sad, what a waste! Waking up after passing out on the couch was never fun because I would be stiff and sore, dry mouthed and I am happy those days are behind me. Instead, I can enjoy cold sparkling water with a splash of lemon or lime, maybe some fruit juice if Iām feeling fancy, and other healthy distractions like reading a good book or lately just taking my time nesting and finding places for things in my home. Iām starting a landscape/garden journal to start planning my outdoor space, too. Lots to look forward to. Happy to be looking forward sober, as well. 
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Iām late to the party but stillā¦
Congratulations! 
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Day 553
Today has be buuusssssyyyyy. I started working with my son to reach a developmental milestone. Bcuz of his medical condition and everything he has been thru, a certain milestone has not been met yet. But we started today and i think overall it is going well.
I also had time to do my morning readings and prayer. Grateful for that. It always helps my mood 
I didnt exercise this morning but will definitly give it another go tmrw mrng. My eating has been good so far today. Had some coffee for breakfast and a delicious salad for lunch with sparkling water.
Overall the day is going well. I am working on finding balance in my life and just taking things in stride. I am often a person who is constantly rushing around and id like to learn to slow down a bit. Hope everyone is having a good day!
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