Day 99. I think what I love is I’m still waking up everyday excited to go and learn. I’ll be honest I didn’t think I was going to be. But I am and the teachers are seriously the best, my reading advancement teacher is cool and uses mindfulness exercises before class to get us in a good place. It’s a little annoying because these two kids do nothing but laugh the whole time and think it’s just a joke. My English 101 class is good. My next assignment looks to be a letter to my future self. The syllabuses are a little confusing. And she had us take a test which asked qs about conjunctions and adverbs and all that stuff and I have zero clue what any of them mean. But I’m going to study, go get a tutor and make this shit happen. Sorry I always talk about school right now, it’s just really making me think and I like that. Much love, got a nice long weekend and that will be fun. Got some studying to do. Much love
Day 68. Good day at work and another Italian lesson,.my brain still remembers bit…which is reassuring , so i will use my wine money on something more useful and continue to learn
Checking in. I went out with work colleagues this evening. I had an alcohol-free beer and I am freaking out about it a bit. I usually don’t touch alcohol free beers, but I felt the need to fit in, and now I feel like a failure. I don’t know why. Like I jeopardized my sobriety to fit in. I’m not craving anything, but just feels a bit shit.
You are not a failure. Probably best for you to not get another one in the future. It was triggering to you and it made you feel bad. I’m sorry you feel crummy about it again you are not a failure
Editing to add not so much triggering as far as wanting to drink but triggering in making you feel bad.
You don’t need something that looks like a drink to fit in. You’re your own wonderful non-alcohol drinking self keep that in focus.
Grrr 2 weeks ago my ex (the father of my daughter) told me he quit his job due to his mental health …he now tells me hes getting rid his car as he cant afford it so since then im £140 down a month as he cant pay toward her and now i also get to do all of the driving my daughter around so she can see her dad, good job im in a decent place in my head these days…but doesnt stop me feeling frustrated
Day 508
Glad day almost over and now ready to rest
All I can do is wish for a better tomorrow, sober.
Maybe let him know you’ll give him a certain amount of time for his health but he still needs to help out.
Im biding my time, its difficult to know how to handle it…hes been diagnosed bi polar which obviously must be difficult for him and although i do have sympathy for his plight im feeling the pressure that everything is on me with regards to our daughter, i will facilitate her seeing him for her sake because she loves him but for now as hes had 2 ‘episodes’ recently weve agreed on him not having her overnight for while only short daytime visits where i take her then collect her later, sorry this is just a bit of a brain dump that i feel i need to write out
I probably should’ve shut my trap, lol
I’m coming at it from a mother’s perspective. (If I were your mother) I know you’ll know what to do. 
The opening of your trap is most welcome 
I love reading about your school stuff, keep on getting after it!
Yea, me too 
Congratulations on your entry into the 700 club 
Sorry for jumping in uninvited, but why did he quit his job? He could have gotten signed off by the doctor and most employers would have had to keep paying him for ages…
Anyway, that’s neither here nor there. You’re doing really well considering how difficult a situation you’re in. I’m just in awe of your strenght here.
Checking in on day 67, I’ve been isolating lately, but I feel like I’m getting to know myself better which I’ve put off for to long.
Hope you all are well 
Hey Jasmine! Today has been busy 
Honestly… as far as I can tell from the photos from school and from hearing what others are saying, my son is having a blast! Im beyond grateful. I was able to get alot of running around done AND was able to enjoy a nice lavender scented bath. He will be home soon and i cant wait to see him and hear all about his day! I guess all that stressing i was doing was for nothing lol Grateful that today has so far turned out really well. How are you? How has ur day been?
oh girl - this made me tear up to read! so excited for your little guy. Grateful for you too as now you can hopefully be a little more stress free. Lavender scented bath sounds amazing and so relaxing! You totally deserve it.
i am doing better now - got some errands run and about to go for a walk if my energy levels stay up. still fighting a headache but hopefully it just stays as a headache.
So happy for your day love - can’t wait for all the catch up you and your son will be doing when he gets home from school 
interview went well! the principal said that she’d call me most likely today or tomorrow and let me know if I got the job or not. really hoping for this job
update: definitely not getting a call today the school closes hours ago, fingers crossed for tomorrow
520 days checking in- Happy Friday 
I’ve been making some big leaps in my work space, really appreciating my growth in different areas in my life since sobering up. Life really did just open it in many positive ways when I focused my energy in the right directions.
Im going to help my friend tomorrow clean up her home, and support her. She’s been having a tough time with her mental health and is newly sober, so im bringing some nice soft drinks, snacks and we are going to freshen up her home and enjoy the Saturday together. Im really looking forward to it!!!
@RosaCanDo congrats on 700 days 
have a great time camping 
@Butterflymoonwoman I hope your son had a great first day at school
@Soberbilly thank you grateful for you too 🩵 also, awesome photos of the supermoon, thank you for sharing 
@Chosen2001 congrats on 90 days
@JazzyS it made me feel sad because I really struggled to think of anything comforting to say to those parts of myself. My homework is to try to write a compassionate letter to myself, before our penultimate session next Monday, going to attempt it over the weekend but I’m scared of feeling sad. Did you get any decent photos of that Supermoon?
@DanaM56 I’m so pleased you finally have your parents’ ashes at home with you. 
🩵
@Wakikki its one-on-one thankfully, I do have some homework to do, I think it’s going to be very emotional.
@Hoss congrats on double digits
@Sabrina80 well done for playing that tape all the way through 
@SadMemeQueen glad the interview went well, good luck 
1116 days no alcohol.
581 days no cocaine.
96 days no vape.
Feeling depressed again today. Have done my morning routine and newish daily activities, but no walks. I couldn’t face it today. Hope to feel stronger tomorrow. I’m having my Testosterone shot in the morning and that does usually lift my mood, so here’s hoping!
🩵