Beautiful Dutch sky
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You understand my addiction and my plight. Me using phrasing like āhumanisingā a person, the millions of us who understand this addiction and have lived with it for decades knows that you no longer see people, you see shapes and body parts. Itās not the personās fault that posted, itās my fault how my brain works. I felt triggered and posted about it. If it offended people i apologize. The technique of humanising a person is part of my recovery. To see people as people. Go beyond the shapes/body parts into the real person. Itās not that the person is struggling and because there struggling i feel better, thatās not the case at all. Itās taking the time to get to know peopleās journey beyond a picture. Itās not just with sober selfies, but people in general. Iām trying to rewire decades of mental abuse and itās not easy living in this world. Itās not easy for any of us here, thatās why we are here, for connection. I shared a vulnerable moment and will continue to do so, just dont want to offend people either.
Days PMO free: Day 28
Days with PS5 in the closet to close the day: 36
Days went to bed the same time with my wife: 36
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please read my post
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Your work shouldnāt come at the expense of peopleās safety on here. Stay off the selfie thread if you canāt handle it. Period. You said a lot of words to basically take 0 accountability. Your addiction does not excuse your behavior.
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Your right. I shouldnāt be on there anyway and i shouldnāt have posted about it. I just talked about oversharing, and i immediately overshared. Thatās on me. I would never want to offend anyone.
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I read your post.
You havenāt offended me. You made me, as a woman, feel unsafe and uncomfortable.
If you canāt help but sexualize women on this forum, stay away from the selfies. We are all here to heal. Your recovery shouldnāt come at the expense of other people.
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Hi 
I assume Smokey is a cat? One of my dogs is on a B12 supplement (via injection), but the vet just told us research has shown itās equally effective via pill, which he will eat in his food. Heās not a fan of the injections. I donāt know if this is helpful but thought Iād mention it. Weāre still working with her to get the best brand & dosage, but I will keep you posted if youād like.
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Day 5 no weed
Day 43 no smoking
Day 112 no alcohol
I have to take two 8hour classes to get my license back
I signed up and have them paid for so there is no room for a mistake. I should be all set, driving in 2 months, the latest
A little overwhelmed but Iāll be ok 
My first class is in like 28 days
Plenty of time to prepare myself
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Checking in for day 38.
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Checking in day 10, havenāt had 10 days in some time. Zero cravings, Iāll take it! Odaat.
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@chosen2001 A huge congrats on your 90 days of sobriety. Grateful to see you plugging away and living your best life.
@danam56 I am grateful that you were able to collect and bring home your parents ashes. Think you are doing amazingly well with your boundaries and with responding vs reacting ā I have been using this lately as well so thank you for putting the words out there as they have been super helpful. It is really hard not to react but I think Iām getting the hang of it.
@try2change You are here and that means you do want to change and have an addiction free life. The longer we spend in the frame of mind of guilt, shame and regret the longer we are vulnerable to our addiction. Get yourself to a meeting or support group. Figure out how to change up your daily routines / habits and possibly the people around you ā avoid triggers best as you can. Seek out medical help if you think that detoxing alone may be an issue. Nothing is impossible ā just need to have the right frame of mind and a good support system. We are here for you my friend ā you are able to overcome your addiction.
Forget shame ā I would be mortified and a bit shocked 
never apologize for mind dumps or whatever ā never know how our minds process what it needs to and what could be helpful to you or to others. Yeah ā I think you mentioned before and are right about the type A personalities. We do need to be a little more vigilant and respect our energy. I have found that taking time to calm down (ie meditate, yoga, reading helps counteract the go go go schedule we tend to keep). This may help in creating a well rounded day and fingers crossed will keep the fatigue at bay.
@ceeds wow ā love the 20 days and all the connections you have made and are engaging with. So important for the recovery journey. Wishing you luck with your aunt ā I do hope that you two are able to have a wonderful sober visit together. 
Definitely a cause but I hope the searching and sorting is helping you and will allow you to be free and light hearted moving forward. Wishing you well on your journey ā congrats on day 4
@deelzebub grateful for your mom and her check in suggestion. Much love my friend ā your bread turned out so well ā wanted to grab it right out of the screen ā hope you all enjoyed hot out of the oven. Glad to see you staying connected here. We are here for you Delia! Congrats on your 89 days 
@noshame glad you have time to prepare and get your mind into it. Wishing you luck with getting your license back
@hoss Congrats on double digits ā that is awesome! Keep checking in and showing up for yourself! ODAAT
Checking in on Thursday morning
Woke up and got a migraine that i was able to tame after a couple of hours of additional sleep. I am itchy and hurting all over and have little bumps everywhere. I donāt think its a rash. Its now past noon and iām well caffeinated and hoping to shower and try to walk to the store for a few groceries. it will be a beautiful Thursday! Hoping everyone has a lovely addiction free day! Sending you all much love 
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Day 334
Iām watching a series on YouTube that I really love, its a fun food challenge and those 2 guys who host it are awesome.
Today they had a cocktail before the challenge begins and my addictive mind goes like āoh yes good idea, go get some!ā
Dude! Iām still recovering from covid and my addictive mind has nothing else to do as whispering in my ear to now get drunk because I deserved it.
You know what I deserve? Everything except alcohol.
Even now as I am almost one year in itās still there. And Iām honest, I miss the feeling. But I also know what happens next. Iāll lose control because 1000 are not enough, Iāll get shitass drunk, Iāll lose consciousness, Iāll vomit and feel awful after. Iām an addict, this is how my brain works.
But I wonāt give in.
Alcohol is a poison that does nothing good to me. Iāll have an apple tea now and the leftovers from yesterday 
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
Donāt let the addictive mind win 
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Day 4 almost done its bed time.
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Thank you! That is a good option to know and Iāll mention it to the vet. Luckily the critical medicine is oral and weāve been able to give him that. Please do let me know! We love our furry friends so much! 
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Hello Yaāll,
Sigh. Im feeling okay today. Been just wayching things unfold instead of the outcome. Its a good thing to do I find; sure nice to have a goal, but sometimes Id be so focused getting somewhere or how far to go that the whole journey is not only missed but is turned into something to be frustrated at and rushed through, vs experienced.
Just helped hubby move drywall to the basement. He needs a work space, so I had the suggestions of us finishing the back room - which its already strapped and he just finished tuxking the insulation in - into a workshop, for now. At first he wasnt too keen on it, worried about fumes and dust in thw house but weāre going to seal it up and get a vent fan through the window. Its a for now thing, a stepā¦and I can feel his excitement building again which makes me so happy. Hes creating his website and I just love to see this unfoldingā¦but anyway careying the drywall AWKWARDLY down our basement steps, and I was thinking about how 2 years ago when we moved in we planned to finish that badement room ASAP. Nope, npt what happenedā¦but lookā¦here it is happening now, and for a torally different purpose but like wow thats life.
Had a meeting with child services today and I really appreciatwd it. The worker was amazing, she is incharge of placements and she was reassuring and compassionate (something we did not experience at all for the 1st yr of dealing with them). We know we are moving towards a decision, and we are just asking child services to help us make one in an informed mannerā¦and thats what this woman brought to the table. She said something very kind at the end, and while I know that doesnt necessarily matrer for the process of placing my nephew it DOES make a difference to us when people do not say tjings like that or are insensitive. I tried to allow myself to be emotional during this meeting, which I have generally been trying to do but I am not good at being emotional in feont of people. I generally jusy do not; and it isnt unhealthy i dont thinj, its just my privacy and that side of me is for those I trust with that. I like crying alone 
but today I just allowed myself to cry, and by the end both the supervisor and the worker were both in tears. Again, not aomething that needs to happen or is going to change anything, but its like thank you for understanding what a nughtmare this is for us and how hard we have been fighting.
As far as thoughts of drinking, I think I had a little thoughtā¦like romanticizing or something when reading a book where the woman was drinking wine. The funny thing is I do not like wine, and she was admittedly drinking bc she was stressed out of her mind and depressed. LIKE WOULD NOT BE ROMANTIC TO A NORMIE WOULD IT LOL anyway just a thought. I am watching my smoking, and gah. Also trying to be a bit gentle on myself, which doesnt mean im just being like āthis is fineā but it has been an insanely difficult yr and a half and im doing okay, ive done big things, im working hard on myself and im taking them baby steps. Ebb and flow. I cannot wait for this one to go though, bc I do not want this shit anymore.
Going to get kittens for the kids tomorrow!!! We initially qanted to get one for our daughter for her birthday, but then we needed to wait till we woupd be home so they wouldnt be alone. Then I got to talking to people and apparently (just learning!) They like to be with their litter mate or in twosā¦soooooo here we go We had an old rescue cat before, who came with my husband and she had a lot of just poor treatment in her life. I loved her, but she had a hard time when the kids came along and started really acting up (she would pee on everything, and meow like crazy). She also did not like kids, even though our daughter was not rough with her, she was just too old and wanted that peace and quiet. It was super hard, but before we moved my best friend offered to take her (she was working from home, loved my cat and had a little dog who out cat ACTUALLT got along with). And while the incessant meowing didnt stop , she DID stop peeing everywhere. I rekember this lady trying to tell me my cat had a medical problem and thats why she did that, and I was like nooooo tjis is a BEHAVIOUR she is UPSET. Anyway, my daughter LOVED this cat soml much even though she wanted NOTHING to do with her soā¦here we goā¦xo.
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day 547 of no self harm
I have a job interview in about 2 hours!! itās for a teacherās aide position at an elementary school.
hopefully I get it but I also wonāt be super upset if I donāt. if I donāt get it Iāll just wait until my health is better or at least I have some diagnosis or wtf is wrong
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Great attitude Megan - sending good luck vibes your way.
Hope you have a wonderful day 
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thank you
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@Butterflymoonwoman
Hey Dana
How are you doing today? Hopefully not stressing over the 1st day of school and getting some quality āmeā time in.
Thinking about you- have a great day my friend
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Good luck 
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