Day nine headache lifted for now, horray!
Yesterday evening was most intense for cravings since i quit. I could barely talk at times i was battling so hard.
Going to go to a smart meeting today and keep working through the workbook.
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Good morning. Anxiety in check, desire to get a load of beer this coming weekend not present. Iām running consistently again which is great. I have a half marathon coming up that I need to be ready for as Iām a pace setter and itās a big responsibility so I have focus on that.
Pay day today and I intend on clearing some bills which always gives me some good satisfaction. Work is going ok. Usually heavy meetings trigger my anxiety but Iāve had a few this week and Iāve been able to manage pretty well.
All in all at just over 2 weeks Iām holding my own.
Feeding my good vibes bucker is something I will try and do everyday in some form or another.
Have a great day. Letās get another 24.
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Oh wow are you an official pace setter? Like one of the people that have the flags with the finish time on them?
You must be great at running! Even when i was at my must running-y i couldnt guarantee id finish a half in a certain time without sitting down for 10 minutes half way through 
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If you work out the answer to this can you share with me please 
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I watched most of the videoā¦ the celebration and significance of it is very niceā¦ thanks for sharing your countryās holiday and customsā¦ love the flower wreaths in the girls hair! @zzz
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Found a dog field for off-lead adventures and training. Has a wooded tree area, an extended grass area for sniffing and exploring and a mowed grass area for playing and training. You have to book it for an hour, and itās about a 30 min drive from me, so that will give me another fun activity to do in the evening a couple of times a week. You can only spend so many evenings knitting before you start needing something else to do!
I am almost ready to consider the gymā¦ not quite but at least I am thinking about it now 
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Day 621
Itās only 8.30 and today is already a tough one. Iām tired and irritable, hardly slept last night and with today being the 1st anniversary of my mum passing my emotions are at tipping point.
Not ashamed to say I cried most of last night and I have been crying this morning too.
Iām having dinner with my sister tonight after I finish work, she lives alone so wanted to make sure she has some company.
If you do nothing else today, hold your loved ones close and tell them you love them because when you canāt you miss having the chance and regret not doing it more when you could!
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Iām here, Iām alive and Iām sober.
Day 29 (I forgot the check but I think so)
Itās raining, but itās supposed to clear up a bit tonight.
I just booked our stay at the Pirate hotel in Daftƶ for Halloween yesterday. They lady I talked to recommended us to wait and boon the restaurant for the Halloween party,The Ghost train and the Access to the park tickets. So Iām going to book them in like two weeks.
I sold all my Cricut machines and tools to get the money to afford that. Havenāt used them for almost a year anyway. It feels really exciting.
Also got us out of the house yesterday and today with those money. The kids found some rare sodas they wanted to try, and we bought some groceries we needed to fill up with. I bought a new lipstick 
It wasnāt much but it was so needed for us to get out of the house for real after all this raining.
Weāre going into a neighbor town to do some more grocery shopping today.
Also I had to email my boss, to ask of the schedule for this fall is still set. And still what we agreed before summer, because the unit who is supposed to fix substitutes for all daycares are keep on messaging me and ask if I can take all different jobs.
Iāve told them multiple times that Iām not back until Monday and that I already have a schedule.
Shouldnāt even have to deal with any of this during my vacation. But I guess itāll be sorted out easily during the day.
Did a sneak peak at the stores fall fashion collection yesterday as well. Everything here is Beige,black,white and dark gray as usual. Not even a try for something else. So Iāll be ordering online again I guess. I get the āScandinavian fashionā idea where everything is in basic colors and colors that doesnāt stain or get destroyed or at least the idea is like that. But honestly black or white isnāt really a good option for that.
I canāt live like that. It has to be colorful. Or at least a pop of color and a dash of pumpkin spice a little everywhere.
Ps. My boss just answered, I still have my schedule and the personal unit knows it, so they shouldnāt bother me anymore.
Wishing yāall a wonderful day.
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Exactly. We are social creatures and need others.
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Yeah. I set the pace at events up to and including the Marathon. Itās a great buzz seeing people over the line for what could very well be the biggest achievement of their lives.
It comes with a lot of responsibility and you have to take it seriously. Itās not just about setting an even pace thereās much much more to the role.
Weather is not great of late but Iām getting the miles in 
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Yeah that is badass mate. What a great thing to focus on in your sobriety
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Day 122 sober
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Day 964,
Tomorrow Iāll be going home for the weekend. They do that to not get to used to being in the institution. But talking to fellow clients it shows that some are here for quite some time. While they say 6 to 12 weeks some are here as long as up to one year and one even 3 years (on only ten clients). I have expressed this to a nurse, he agreed it can come across strange and raise questions if you are a newcomer. I was not the only one raising my doubts on this so to say. But Iām here for me and me only. Did a quick lunch and left the table. The emotions overwhelmed me once again. So now on my bed typing with some tears in my eyes. Itās a good thing I geus.
Emotions get triggered when I think about the past or work with my body and/or some artwork. I have been working on a portrait of my son. Itās sensitive though. I have a good bond with him. But as you well know my guilt and shame feeling are quit big still due to the fact I was not present during a big part of his life.
Here is the portrait so far, itās burned in wood:
Greetz and much love 
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Hey all, checking in on day 1152. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Day 208.
Today I overslept but Iām feeling a bit better. Got a load of stuff to do but I have almost no motivation. Might go for a walk to help clear my head.
@JazzyS Iām so sorry to hear you also suffered through food poisoning, it really sucks. I feel slighty traumatised from the experience.
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Then I guess this is a big success for a Zzz Tv 
Thank You
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Hey checking in. In the middle of a 12 day work week. A little tired but sleeping pretty good lately. SAFāļø
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Thank you!
Yeah, it was super nice at the zoo and Iām kind of proud of my boys for walking so long (more than 4 hours of constant walking) without complaining. And we didnāt even see the wolves They got very excited about the rhino cause it looks like a dinosaur and of course the love dinos. Long story short - was a great funny day.
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Days PMO free: Day 7
Days with PS5 in the closet to close the day: 15
Days went to bed the same time with my wife: 15
GOOD MORNING/AFTERNOON/EVENING ALL!
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Again I want to correct myself and apologise if You accepted it personaly. I was talking just about subject and there are nothing personal. You, me, everyone just gived our personal opinions, yet the whole situation become quite out of control. Really did not wanted to upset You. I hope You understand and everyone just added some into the bucket. Hope thats all goes for the better in the future. Have a good day, Sir.
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