Day 124 checking in sober feeling ok my partner has had a operation on Tuesday so I’m looking after her at the moment not made many meetings this week or managed the gym will pick it up next week
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I have reached out on here and received support in similar situations. I’m glad you’re still with us and I’m happy I was able to help.
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1526
Did creative therapy yesterday instead of the usual Pesso group. We were asked to make a collage containing mum, dad and ourselves. Coincidence or not, first image I saw when I opened a magazine looking for stuff to use I saw the one I post here.
My favourite animal as a kid and maybe still. For its beauty, but for the first time in my life I understood the symbolism too, the lonely, aloof hunter, on it’s own in the middle of the most inaccessible mountains in the world. Still moves me or maybe even more so know I understand a bit more about the why.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. It’s raining here again but that’s OK. Had a full day yesterday. Taking it slow today. Going to the movies tonight. Love.
@Charlie_C Quadruple digits! Huge congrats friend!
@Alycia 500, that’s enormous! excellent work, congrats!
@BJonns I hope you can learn from what happened so it won’t be all for nought. Please come here before giving in to the urge, we might be able to help with that.
@Kipper Good work Mike! Keep going. One day at a time and all that.
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Checkin in on day 77…
5 weeks, 6 days until I finish work 
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Hey all, checking in on day 1154. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Checking in sober today. My daughter is going to visit her sister today by train and she’s a bit nervous about travelling alone for the first time, and I’m meeting a friend for coffee. Then it’s pizza night for us.
The kids go back to school on Wednesday so these are the tail end days of the summer break. We’ve kept busy, the kids have been on various day trips and my son went on a residential trip during which I decorated his bedroom. One day at a time.
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Day 315
I really hope that this summer is over soon, humidity is up to almost 90% and it’s warm. Yesterday it was 32°C, 17° warmer than one day before. Rollercoaster weather.
I’m on my way to the city center, I ordered a cook book that finally arrived. Also I need food and some stuff for my psoriasis.
Next week I’ll start to check if my skin gets better when I tan (studio, not outside). It helps some, not everyone.
That’s all for now, I might come back later 
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
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Day 966,
Meeting yesterday was fine, but took some energy. Slept not that good, but I geus quit normal after the impressions in the treatment centre. I have more or less a companion now. But it’s also a process. I wanted the leave the first two days already, that was basically the addicts reaction. It was well recognized in the meeting yesterday, which helped me in that sense. Now that I have been there for almost two weeks I can cope better. Is it fun? No, but I see now that I need it. My parents already noticed some differences, but I’m not gonna overanalyze things. It’s reasonably ok to be at home, but there is a lot going on in my head, the house itself, future work, financial pressure etc. These things I can leave more behind when I’m in the treatment centre. But I’ll have to deal with them sooner or later. Just had a call with the centre to discuss how it’s going, they scheduled some calls for that. I can go back whenever I want, but being at home I see as something quite important. So I try to cope with my feelings as they come. Might be offline when I get more therapy sessions, but on the other hand connection and venting is also important.
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Checking in 11.35 days not vaping. Cravings are weakening THANK GOD feeling good but still mourning the comforting device. Boredom and transition times are the biggest triggers.
I dont want another day 1
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Hi Dana,
I wanted to thank you for the kind words. I’m so glad to see you doing amazingly well. Everyone is encouraged by your testimony. Thank you.
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I wanted to inform everyone here because most of you didn’t know Charlie from 5 years ago.
He was a chronic relapser. He couldn’t get double digits for years while on TS. Yet he kept trying. He kept learning. Humbly coming back each time honestly admitting his failure. Trying new things.
And now your at 1000 days!
Great job, Charlie.
We love you.
Thank for your inspiration.
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Good morning. Day one again. Gradually finding/developing my commitment to sobriety (I hope).
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I haven’t checked in for a few days. I’m at day 308.
I’ve been struggling this past week. Much lust and fantasy, which evolved into cravings on Monday and Wednesday. Thursday was the only day lust and fantasy free. Today is a new day. I’m feeling hopeful that it will be a good one.
That’s been my secret. Being mindful of where my eyes and mind roam. It’s been easier for me to say “No” to the first look or thought, than to allow my eyes and mind to roam wherever without restraint and then trying to say “No” to picking up porn or MB. That was a recipe for disaster.
So I know that I can only go so far with this
lust-capade before I crash and burn.
Keeping God more in my thoughts today. I’m choosing to do it His way because my way tends to land me in trouble.
Anyways, happy sober Saturday everyone.
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Checking in sober 
Sorry to hear about your swelling Jaz, you did well with your steps and light exercise. It’s a shame it comes with a price 
I have been reading TS, but just been a bit quieter than usual. I’m not feeling well to be honest. I’ve crippling anxiety that’s affecting me in every way. I haven’t been going out at all, with the exception of one day I picked my son up from the train station. I had an anxiety attack when I was driving home with him, and while I got to pull over safely I was frightened to continue on home. I waited until the road was less busy and slowly made my way home. Now I’m scared this will happen every time I drive.
I have made an appointment with my doctor for Wednesday. I haven’t been on anti anxiety drugs since I left my ex, at least thirteen years ago. I’m annoyed that stress has brought me back to this.
Anyway, I’m here, just not doing well and feeling very down Jaz x
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That’s an amazing accomplishment. Congratulations.
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Day 80. Hanging with my girls, probably go for a bike ride or something. Listening to music and taking baths ATM, camping tomorrow will be super fun. The girls are having a friend come with us so that will be nice for them. Much love everyone
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Oh Binx - thanks for checking in love. I am very sorry to hear about your anxiety attack(s). I totally understand the frightening sensation that cripples us from doing daily activities in fear that the attack may reoccur. I have been there and i know it’s not an easy thing to get out of. Sending you oodles of strength.
Grateful that you will have your appointment on Wednesday - can someone go with you - drive you?
Are you able to sit and reflect? sometimes our anxiety does not allow for this but if you can - you may be able to figure out what is causing the attacks? I do find prayer and meditation helpful. Sometimes it is hard to do when anxiety is high.
Sometimes we do need to wallow in our state. We know our bodies best so if you need time to wallow and process then that is ok but if you need that stern kick to push you out of it then force yourself to only deal with positive thoughts and laughter – any thought about depression, medical appointments, anxiety, addiction - just tell your mind that they are being tabled and listen to your happy song, check out some stand up comedy. start laughing - like really laughing from your belly (till it hurts) - you don’t even realize how much crap you expel from doing this. you may not feel 100% better but its a start – repeat process regularly.
Big hugs my dear friend - i do hope you get past these feelings and start feeling like you again very soon 
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I never took meds for my anxiety. But whatever helps helps. Might be a useful short term solution when it’s all too much (and it’s a lot I see that Binx). What helped me was sobriety followed by psychotherapy. It sure takes time but it’s bloody well worth it. Hugs friend.
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@kipper thank you dear friend! You are too kind. Grateful to be on this journey with you. Happy hangover free Saturday Mike – hope you are having a great day hanging with your child.
@geng good to see you at day 41! Sorry that your meds are making you feel like shit- splitting them up might be a good idea – have you discussed with your doctor about this – is this a normal side effect (should it last this long)? Wishing you luck with the dosage. Love that you are reading before bed and waking up with a positive attitude! HELL YEAH!
@bjonns welcome back to day 1! Deep breathes my friend – you are doing great. The beginning is super tough so hang in there – hope you have some support irl – hang out here (so much support and advice on these threads). Sending you strength!
@dmcg1987 healing vibes for your partner.
Wow Rob – this is great after just a short while. We often don’t see the progress as clearly as those around us. I know its hard to not think about all the other stuff and will need to deal with it eventually but by then you will be a bit more stronger and these things wont seem so huge. Sending you comfort my friend – so happy that you are getting this treatment and hoping that you will be feeling better soon
@cjp so grateful that the cravings are weakening- So happy to read that CJ – you are doing awesome! Keep strong my friend
@KevinesKay Glad to see you checking in Kevin. Sorry that you have been struggling. Sending you strength and do hope that connecting more with your HP will ease the temptations.
Checking in on Saturday morning
It is a new day to make things happen. I am not fatigued but am very tired and everything hurts (not intensely all the time but enough shots here and there). I am grateful that i will listen to my body and do a rest day today. Will try to move around but not with any goals in mind. I wanted to numb the pain with a few shots in my coffee but i know that is stupid thinking and will only make the symptoms worse down the road. So crazy how we look to ease our woes with this poison which in turn is killing us and causing more pain and agony - what a vicious cycle. Glad i got off that merry go round. The sun is shining and i am determined to make it a good day – you all have a positively charged addiction free day - sending much love
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