No programs or therapy for me besides this here app. I didn’t really think it was necessary for me. I’ve just been trying to keep my life full of the things that make me glad to be alive, like art and music and friends and family and animals and nature. Focusing on my career. That sort of thing.
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Day 680 AF
What’s good, gang?
I’m still dealing with nightly flare-ups. Turns out I have low Vitamin D levels. I got tested for celiac disease, and I am currently waiting on my results. Hopefully, we can get to the bottom of this. I’m underweight. I’m trying to eat more frequently. Even though I’m underweight, I feel like it has stabilized at 117 pds. I haven’t lost another pound since July. I’m still on a strict diet, no junk food, no caffeine, etc. I miss coffee in the mornings 
. I haven’t thought about boozing, especially during these times. I think my condition would’ve been a lot worse if I had been drinking.
Anyway, I woke up and went for a long walk at the beach. My eldest got into Pokemon Go and got the wife and I back into playing. Went for a park in the afternoon. I noticed parents with their toddlers teaching them how to ride bikes, and I realized that I’ve never taught my kids how to ride a bike. I wasted a lot of years drinking and waking up hungover, and I never got the chance to spend time with my kids. Damn. Shit kinda hit me. Gonna invest in some bikes and try to get out more, or do other outdoor activities.
I hope everyone’s doing well. Take care. ODAAT.
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Checking in on 4y9m24d.
I am grateful the nights are cool and my apartment is cooling down bit by bit.
People keep asking if I settled in here again. I am surely glad to be back in my apartment and having a/my bed. Idk. I am grateful to have a week off.
I am grateful for the support of this community. I am grateful that when I burst out of anger I can reflect on it. I see what others feel about it and get some perspective.
I am glad I checked in on a guy I met in a meeting and he told me he’d go into rehab today. I am glad he does this for himself.
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Hey ya’ll,
Just getting tucked in here. Back with whole family again, all at my moms. Long drive home tomorrow, I know my nephew may be confused he isnt coming with us. Had a great day with him; can tell he is restless because my mom and respite worker cant take him to park. It would be nice if someone from respite service had energy/ability to take him to the park. I do it when I come and he loves it,he has so much energy and needs to run and be free - like all kids. He shot some hoops for a few monents, and then it went to makinf a collection of all the balls he has and wobbling the net back forth to watch its movenents. He sees things we do not; marches to his own tune.
Looking forward to being home and had a lovely weekend. The cigarettes have a hold on me oh Lordy do they ever. I have a vape, which I do not want to trigger anyone here either so not sure its appropriate to speak of but I would rather vape then snoke cigarettes and taper off the vape. I know neither are good, but thinking of harm reducing until I quit. I dont know. Will try and try a bunch of things until I quit. Just tired of the smoking, and thats thr next one to tackle for me (to be all nicotine free). Ill get there, all you lovely folks have a wonderful 24.
Xo.
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That bike story hit home. I never taught my daughter how to ride one either. Or many other things that I should have. It’s hard to think about the moments that never were.
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Checking in 71 days alcohol free…
I had a good weekend. Hung out with a friend last night at a club and people watched. Strange energy for sure. It’s nice being the designated driver and not being hungover after a night out. Last night also showed me it’s capable to go out, have fun, listen to live music and not drink.
Today is was spent floating in the pool and just relaxing. Though I did have a craving for a mimosa ad others were drinking. Thankful I brought my flavored seltzer water concoction to drink.
Shenanigans with my horrible daughter in law continue. It doesn’t trigger me to drink but it’s taking a lot of self control not to verbally assault her. If I were drinking I know I’d have already let her have it. That’s what she wants so keeping silent is actually better. 
. Win for me!
As always so truly grateful for the support and community I have with all of you
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Day 331
Early morning here, I already did 2 Covid tests, both positive. Slightly but still positive. Seems I was too active yesterday so that today my throat feels sore again and my nose is still runny.
Although we’re understaffed I will stay at home today and call a Dr. again. I have to go to another one because mine is on vacation (well earned).
@Juli1 you’re right, I should not start too early again with work. This is something I have to learn. There is still a voice inside me that yells at me to don’t let my team down but yeah…my health is more important to me than my job. I’m afraid that if I start too early I’ll have health problems later.
Ok fam, see you later. Now I’m having a coffee and watch YouTube until I can go to that Drs office at 12am with waiting time.
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
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Sunday night check in. Caught this fun number on my counter randomly just now! Love it! 
I’m exhausted. We worked our asses off this weekend to put a major dent in settling in at our home and the work paid off. I’m glowing here! We are putting our mark on this house and it feels wonderful. Plenty still to do but there always is. We got so much done, so much. My body will surely be aching tomorrow. I am so glad it was pleasantly cool this weekend for this effort and that the temps look to be reasonable next week since we are going camping on Wednesday through Friday. Looking so forward to some time in nature. So grateful for sobriety and that I feel pretty good overall atm. Here’s to a good start to the week next week with hopefully a restful night’s sleep. Goodnight friends. 
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It was another coworkers birthday last night. 23yo kid I’ve worked with for 5 years. He’s restored my faith in the younger generation. He’s just a genuinely good guy. So we all decided to join him at a bar after work to celebrate.
Going out with coworkers is interesting. Obviously the younger ones are doing the ‘normal’ bar scene thing, but then you see others partaking who change completely. A couple older females, around 30, started getting sloppy and loud, fast. I took my ginger beer and joined the smokers outside for some peace. Of course after a while the party came outside. My friend invited me over so we left.
We got into some deep conversations about addiction problems and the program and such. Another friend came too, who’s current situation is devastating. Her daughter is on heroin. She’s tried everything to help but now feels hopeless. She’s trying to accept the fact that her daughter might die young. She’s worried about what will happen to her grandson who’s living in that situation. We told her that al-anon might be able to help. It was a long, heavy night, but it was nice being able to talk so freely about these situations bc everyone understood in some way. They’ve all conquered certain obstacles and are such a support to how far I’ve come.
As usual, I stayed up too late, but at least it was in good company. I slept late but it was a full 9 hours for once. Today I just relaxed and cleaned (a little). Hoping to fully enjoy my day off with my daughter tomorrow. Hope you all have a marvelous Monday 
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Everybody, come to the NW of England and bring a camera!!! It’s Summer 2023 and rain isn’t forecast! It’s actually going to be nice!!
It’s 0622, Willow the (big) dog is lying on me, and I think it’s time to get up for a pleasant summer - and sober - day.
The market in Altrincham is usually shut on Mondays but it’s a bank holiday. I may walk there early with Will (6 mile round trip) for a coffee.
Happy Monday people.
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2 weeks
Checking in!
So happy I didn’t let any craving win yesterday.
I will go on doing the work now!
New week, let’s go 
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Sounds wonderful Jenny. Completely relate on the need for balancing a busy cultural trip to the city with being immersed in nature. I LOVE visiting London… but also enjoy coming back up north 
Have a fantastic trip. X
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I’d given up on summer, but can confirm the sun is also shining in Yorkshire this morning… mostly
Enjoy the coffee & bank holiday x
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Checking in for day 11.
A little uncertain but still determined. Sometimes I’m a little afraid that my body or addiction will trick me. What if I start my day 11 now and I’m no longer sober without noticing it. A lot of things happen subconsciously. But maybe it’s just my head looking for excuses.
@CATMANCAM thanks!!
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1542
I have a looong weekend going on, lasting till Wednesday. I have some stuff to do too so will keep myself occupied. As well as finding some time to do absolutely nothing. Don’t need to fill every second of our lives with activities. Just being is important too, just like being bored is part of life. Sober and clean. Have as good a day as you can friends. Love from Keizersgracht.
@Juli1 Two weeks already! Congrats. Keep going.
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Well that didn’t last long 
back to square one, 2 day bender and I’m feeling awful 
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I’m here, I’m alive and I’m sober.
Day 15.
My boss is a jerk (It’s not news more a confirmation that she still is)
I still don’t have a key. I emailed her and she said she’s going to start to look at it. And I needed that key three weeks ago.
Arriving at work today. And my colleague says "I think you’re supposed to be at Stallaholm) which is another preschool.
That’s what our schedule says?
I say that it’s not the information I’ve gotten from my boss. But no problem I’ll go check on Stallaholm.
Arriving at Stallaholm and talks to another colleague and according to their schedule I’m supposed to start at least two of the Monday every month at Stallaholm,
Staying there from 08.45-10.15
Walking to the preschool where I’m mainly working between 10.15-13.15
Walk back to Stallaholm between 13.15-16.30
And go back to my main preschool between 16.30-17.30 and close our section.
Unclear which Mondays. But today is one of those.
I’m supposed to get a new schedule today.
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Day 343 AF
Big ooft, Last night I had to walk away from 23 years of friendship due to said person crossing a personal boundary. He’s also a high functioning alcoholic ive tried to help many times. I feel bad having to have walked away but I need to do me and look after me and mine.
Cant help those who dont want it.
Weve been there for each other alot but i gave him fair warning about doing what hes done again and said itll be the last time and the end of our friendship. He didnt listen.
I feel heavy it sucks but i just dont have time for toxic bullshit anymore. I hope one day he realises hes pushing people away and finds the help he needs to come out the other side.
I needed the vent more than anything better than
Picking up a bottle and fucking my life again.
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Welcome back Michelle. One thing that really helped me early on was being accountable. Like checking in here daily for example. And come here too before giving in to a crave.
Hold on to this feeling terrible feeling. Remember it. You can do this but it takes work and quite a lot of it. It’s so worth it though! You’re not alone 
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Day 226.
Today I got like a whole bunch of things to do but I so can’t be arsed with anything, really. I’ve been burning that candle at both ends and I have been neglecting my feelings about things.
I’m being haunted by the ghosts of my past because I basically moved back home. And I feel really stuck. Last time I felt this stuck I went through a mental breakdown.
Now I’m sober. But it’s hard to think about how far I’ve come when I’m back where it all started… It’s hard to explain. Maybe I’m just overcomplicating things in my head.
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