Thank you so much, I feel absolutely horrendous, beaten by the weekend, anxiety through the roof, so down, but all I can do now is pick myself up and get back working on being sober, I also need to learn to check in here I’m terrible for disappearing into myself and then all hell breaks loose, a lesson has been learned 
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I get that. I hope you get to see this as an opportunity to learn and grow. It’s not about running away and hiding from our triggers. It’s facing them when we can, when we’re ready, when we are sober. And understanding why they trigger us, and what they do to us, and finding new ways of handling them and dealing with them and thus diminisihing them. So we can move on with our lives. Thanks for sharing, that helps too. Hugs.
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Hey all, checking in on day 1170. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Day 65. Strange dreams last night
Off today as its bank holiday here. Aiming to read a little and plan the week ahead. Going on holiday in two weeks. My partners son and his girlfriend are joining us so i will quietly message him before to say I’m not drinking alcohol so it doesn’t become a question on holiday. I know tjere is a temptation to drink on holiday but i know thsts nonsense
Alcohol free for life.
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606 days sober. That I have stayed sober during my hell of I dont know what in my body, is surprising.
Got a doctor appoinment today, I hope he will cut off my arm.
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Day 982,
Having some hard times in the treatment centre. Everything is going slow, there was an aggression incident on Friday. And the guy just got verbally aggressive during lunch again. They say they are looking for another place for him, but doubt if that is gonna happen any time soon. I just left the table, it’s just getting to much. I know I let to much in, it’s linked to ADHD as well. Tears are out know so see if I can go back. The goal of the treatment I still believe in, but the surroundings are just not for me.
Thanks for having me here
Greetz,
Rob
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Second check in
The Dr gave me a sick note for the whole week. Enough time to fully recover 
The pregnant coworker is still positive and also has symptoms, like me. She wants to return to work tomorrow 
And this ladies and gentlemen is the reason why ppl keep on spreading this sh*t 
Stay safe, sober and healthy fam
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1.91 days no marijuana
40.57 no smoking 
yayyy day 40
109.50 no alcohol
Woke up in a mellow mood
Just taking it easy and on my way to work right now
I learned last time I smoked weed in the morning it can make for a exosting day
No need for that anyway
Take care
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Checking in for day 35
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Thank you so much.
The work helps.
I am getting a more reliable person in this matter (being abstinent). That’s my true nature. Loyalty.
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I can’t believe we still got rained on briefly!! English weather!! 
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Days PMO free: Day 25
Days with PS5 in the closet to close the day: 33
Days went to bed the same time with my wife: 33
Just checking in.
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Thank you !
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Day 202 checkin while waiting to board my flight to Mexico. Have a great day everyone!
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Checking in on my break at work
Yesterday I had a craving for a ciggerett. I was stressed and walked by a co worker who had some and asking crossed my mind but I knew I wasn’t going to ask. Addiction is just cunning
I didn’t pick up a cigg and the day got much better actually. If I smoked it would have been pointless
Day 40 no ciggs or vape
2 full days without marijuana
I don’t like how smoking it makes me feel but the habit is there after 17 long years of smoking. I have to realize I’m not a kid anymore and responsibilities are different now. This is real life now. Not smoke a bone and wing it life anymore
It’ll be 110 days no alcohol today
My last drink got me sick right away
It tasted wrong and felt wrong.
It tasted like I was doing something very bad if that makes sence
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Day 86. I’ve been feeling a bit directionless lately. I’m doing all the things that need to be done for the children, and meditating and doing breathing exercises but I’m finding it hard to organise myself for me. When I was at the hairdresser the other week she recommended another of her client’s yoga class as she was also in recovery from alcohol so I looked up the timetable and booked myself in for a class this lunchtime. I arrived quite early and got the chance to talk to the teacher who was so very welcoming and encouraging. There’s also a specific recovery yoga class on a Thursday evening which could be a good opportunity.
Today’s class was very gentle and I enjoyed it plus it was good to get out the house to do something just for me.
I’m also just getting over a cold so I should really cut myself some slack.
Wishing everyone an addiction free day.
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Day 96, good morning everyone. Well lets try another zoom meeting with the dss worker. I seriously hope everything goes good this time. I could not for the life of me fall asleep last night, i wanted to sleep but, i had so much on my mind, school was on my mind this zoom meeting was on my mind, so yeah sleeping didn’t happen. I maybe got like an hour of sleep i passed out around 630 and was up around 8. I feel like crap now and the last thing i need is to feel like shit, I’ve got a long day ahead regardless. My neck is so stiff, ugh lol. I hate how i let some things worry me to death and keep me up like that. I am a nervous wreck, but ill get through it. Not really sure what else to say. I did catch myself thinking a lot about like old drug behaviors i had when i was in active addiction, i dont want to say i was glorifying it, but i was thinking a’lot about like how i use to get it, and how i would talk with the people i was getting it from…idk how to describe it, but yeah it was actually a little annoying i had to pull myself away from it, bc I kept almost obsessing about it. But yeah much love everyone have good days
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Day 64, everyday gets more and more manageable. In addiction, I thought I needed alcohol whenever I felt anything negative, especially sadness and stress.
With more sober days, I’m able to conquer my days with a clear head.
Feels amazing to be alcohol free.
Have a great day everyone 
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@Mindofsobermike Really hoping all goes well with your meeting today. Im sorry to hear that you got barely any sleep 
I hope your day improves at least.
@Deelzebub Im really glad that you got to do something for YOU! Thats so important. Maybe that will help with the feeling of being directionless. Just by having a routine and incorporating ur yoga classes 
@Noshame way to go on not giving in to that craving to smoke! Proud of u!
@Rob11 wow im surprised that he wasnt dismissed from the program. Any treatment centres that ive been in have very strict rules about any sort of abuse and if someone doesnt abide by them, they get kicked out. Im sorry u and others are having to go thru this when treatemnt shouod be the main focus, not having to deal with this individual.
@amy30 sending u hugs as u go thru what ur going thru. It sounds like a lot being back home. I couldnt imagine honestly going back to my old province where the majority of my past was. That would be horrendous.
@saturn81 welcome back Michelle
@juli1 yay!!! Im so happy for u! Congratulations on 2 weeks!!!
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