Ah Mike - I’m sorry to hear that. Are you able to talk again with your teacher / tutor about it? Don’t worry about asking for clarification multiple times - ask for an example if they can provide.
I turn to google a lot - not sure if it would be helpful in your case. Might find a tutorial on the subject on YouTube.
When is this due? Do you have a time to walk away from it for 1/2 hour and just go for a walk or something (i find coming back to something after a break helps).
Sorry - i wish i could be of more help out but really not all with it right now (still feel sedated from this morning). Are you still working with a tutor?
@Hesmyportion please, please don’t give up. I tried thousands of times but I failed often. We try to learn and all this is a process. Patience reaches everything.
Day 10 here
And I still had a drink dream… On many occasions I’ve said on here I love a drink dream it’s all the fun with none of the guilt but I didn’t love this one.
That obsession of having to search for more after just 1 glass, that feeling of powerlessness over alcohol, that gut wrenching emptiness when I realised I wasn’t able to get my fix and a complete waste of 3 years sobriety.
Thank god that’s no longer my reality.
Nice night with the kids at home. Took a little time today for ME which is unusal during the day and it was really nice. Watching the combine harvest the soy, and the sunset.
Getting ready for weekend with the boys over. Drinks will be had, but not for me So glad friends are coming we used to be the party house pre kids (all with me sober and its so nice having a home now where people can come stay even if we live far away. Feeling grateful in this moment. I know Ill probably still be in bed nice and early LOL.
@JazzyS wow thank you so much, you are so supportive i feel honored and even more equipped to continue strong on this path forward. i think journaling publicly here might be a great move for me, i’ll definitely consider it. actual dealing with feelings, taking extra excellent care of myself, practicing patience while taking baby steps - yes i can do this. thank you again dear fellow I truly appreciate you for this support.
(ps nicotine-free vape is just the flavored vapor with no nicotine. it’s a crutch yes to wean off the oral fixation. i’ll move to something else soon like lollipops or straws. really glad to be on day 3 no nicotine )
my parents left for an anniversary trip yesterday and will come back tomorrow. it’s been really nice to have some peace and quiet, even though my sister is still here. our relationship is a little strained so it was really nice with it just being me and her. we watched one of our favorite TV shows and played co-op video games the whole time and plan to continue playing the games even when they get back. it’s nice
Evening Check In Day 593
Spent time with the family today, which was really nice. We went out to get my son new glasses and to buy a present for his classmates bday party this weekend. Came home to relax and then we ate supper. Im feeling pretty worn out. Some thoughts of using since it was hubbys payday but nothing major. Played the tape to the end and reminded myself of what I could lose by using. Thats enough of a deterant right there. Just about to hop in the shower and get ready for work tomorrow. Hope everyones friday is a safe and sober one
Checking in
424 days no booze
42 days no tobacco
This morning I took my boys to the local pond and caught a fish and walked around it a few times. I had planned to do chores in the afternoon but I took a nap instead. Fed us dinner. Getting ready for work tomorrow. Have a good night friends.
That sucks. For the understanding part of the publications I’d try to switch to something completely else. Go for a walk or to the gym or do something completely different even if you feel guilty for this. For the annotations can you call someone for help and share what you are doing on a screen and let you being helped doing. Learning by doing. For me often something being explained is clear as long as I have to do it myself
What I forgot to add: make some kind of instructions on one note or what apple provides. Take a screenshot of every tiny step, then add numbers where to click and insert what and why. The more details the better. Don’t miss one step because you think you obviously know it (in this moment). You will have forgotten it next week.
Checking in on day 185 for me!!! Just past 6 months and I’m feeling really good. My relationship with myself and my family has improved enormously and I am forever grateful for that!!! I still get stuck sometimes and think bout the past when I was using and the lifestyle I was living and I feel the slight urge to do it again, but then I shake it off and keep my head up and know I need to continue getting well and becoming the best me I can be. I LOVE waking up to my children’s faces everyday and seeing them after our day of work and school is over, having dinner time together and reading my lil man his bedtime story. This is all truly a blessing. None of this would be possible if it weren’t for God. I give him the praise. I hope you all are doing well and hanging in there. Remember YOU CAN DO THIS AND YOU ARE ENOUGH! YOU’RE WORTH IT!!!
Have a wonderful Friday night everyone!!! ☆☆☆
Day 104 alcohol free
Nice easy day at work today. My company does no meeting days and today was that day, it was so nice. I was able to get caught up on some tasks at work. It felt good.
This is my first weekend at home in a month and I’m really looking forward to it. I ran to the grocery store at lunch and bought food to food prep for the upcoming week. I’ve put on a couple of pounds over the last few weeks so I need to be more mindful.
I’m hoping my back will allow me to workout this week. I really miss that outlet as a stress relief.
Since becoming sober there is for the most part a sense of peace. I ask myself somedays why am I so calm and anxiety free? I guess I should enjoy it and stop questioning it.
Pretty calm day, work started out quickly, but dragged on forever. Finally able to wrap everything up around 7:00, made me something to eat and sunk into my couch to enjoy some Friday night football.
The last 11 days i’ve been isolating from everything besides work and my kids, but it’s been necessary and good for me. Allowed me time to process my girlfriend moving, give time to letting the emotions flow and time to reflect on my true feelings instead of just feeding off my initial reactions. In the end the move is for the best. We were comfortable and compatible, but it wasn’t the relationship that sparked me. Good to end as friends and not out of anger or hurt.
I’ve been able to reflect a lot on my last relapse. Be honest with myself, coming to terms with how lost i was and how far away i was falling from the man i strive to be.
I’ve been writing these feelings down. I want to be able to look back and remember the real, raw, painful emotions sobering up this last time has brought up. I’ve always been able to put together some substantial amounts of sobriety, but have caved into alcohol twice in the past. I want to create a system to remind myself of the pain drinking brings to my life, going to do some things differently this time.
So looking forward to no alarm clock tomorrow morning. Going to my nephew’s football game, then lunch with a friend and end the night spending time with my daughter. Going to be a good day.
So glad friends are coming we used to be the party house pre kids (all with me sober 
Evening Check In 
