Checking in. A day and a half with no pot. It’s my first day back to work without it so I’m counting on my higher power to keep my anxiety down. 
. I hope everyone has a good day.
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489, checking in. Wondering if a fellow Amsterdam resident could recommend a good AA meeting in town? @Mno perhaps? Any suggestions very much appreciated 
Wishing everyone a happy sober Saturday.
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Day 98.
This is a major transitional time in our household. My daughter is 11 and a half and is off out with school friends on her own for the first time. I know I’ve just got to let her get on with it but I’ve been so used to having my wee buddy by my side and taking her everywhere that I feel at a loss. Over the summer she started making her own way to drama class and she started going to and from school herself at the start of term. I’m also perimenopausal so throw that into the mix as well.
I have to keep reminding myself that drinking wouldn’t help just now, but sometimes my feelings are just so raw and big I crave numbness.
Wishing everyone an addiction free day.
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So sorry for your loss vriend.
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Yes I falled to dark places. My past traumas kicked really hard yesterday. I was very drunk and started to talk about how my father almost killed me like 10 years ago while drunk. My friend said something like oh common you still talking about it after so many years? That made me really mad. I hammered hard. To the point like I dont care anymore. Suicidal toughts and so on kicked in. It is really hard. No one understands what nightmare it was on that Halloween night indeed. It is a miracle I am alive today and I believe and was guided through that I am in a big dark and light fight within. We are all connected. I am on the mission.
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My condolences Menno.
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Hang in there!
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Thanks Laura. I think that’s just what I needed to hear. 
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TBH I’m more familiar with NA meetings here in town. And that experience comes from a couple of years ago already. I’d say try some different ones. There’s a lot of 'm and they all have a different vibe. Big ones, small ones, very male, more mixed, strict BB and 12 stepping, more lenient and relaxed, christian and less-christian, Dutch and many different cultures and nationalities ones. I tried the 90 meetings in 90 days back then, and got to about 50, about 20 different places and meetings.
I liked Geschutswerf 12 as a location, as they have an open space where you can just walk in and chat all day, but maybe they have more NA than AA meetings, not sure. Check out the AA website for more locations. Success!
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Dank je wel Menno! Already noticed one meeting at the location you like after going through the website. Much appreciated.
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Sweet Mary, my son waking up at 5am is just TOO EARLY. Putting a movie on for the kids this AM so i can get ready to take them to the beach. I invited my new friend (her son is friends with my daughter, and her daughter is just a bit older then my son 
and then she invited us for dinner after. Im slightly nervous it will be too much for my son. He still needs a nap, and then also when he wakes up he can be VERY cranky. And it can last a while. She has big dogs and hes scared of dogs because the neighbours here had a husky mix puppy that knocked him over and would jump up (I had to ask them to keep her on a leash. She was SUPER friendly and sweet, but she didnt understand how big she was and knocked my son over, and kept jumping up at all the kids. My nephew is afraid of dogs also, so it just wasnt appropriate that the dog be running around while the kids were outside until she was trained to not jump on them or run through them), and it has just set the tone for dogs. We’re working on it, but when hes tired and cranky he doesnt necessarily come around to a dog being around. Anyway, look at me having NORMAL WORRIES. I’m just going to go with the flow, and i’ll let my friend know that if its too insane and my son is a nightmare I’ll just go. I understand people wanting to do things with their kids 100% but i also go with my kids moods. Never understood keeping my kids out if they were losing their shit bc I didnt want to leave where i was. 1st off its a nightmare and tiring? 2nd kids are legit expressing themselves and when babies r tired they tired and 3rd. You ever been somewhere with someone elses kid that just be lpsing their shit…i dont know not fun for others either LOL. Wanted to just share my brain…bc these r the kind of worries i havent had for a while. FUCK I AM SOOOOO TIRED!!! LOL HAPPY 24 EVERYONE.
Also funny that when i try to write happy 24 it almosy always comes out happy 25. Which reminds me of the movie 25th hour. Xo.
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Sorry for your loss, hope you have some good memories to remember her by 
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@Mno I’m so sorry for your loss, that is young and just so sad f**k cancer! I wish cancer would get cancer it’s what took my sister.
Checking in day 13, It’s my Birthday and I have never spent a birthday sober, and I’m struggling a bit today, little bit all over the place as this birthday is so different, little bit sad thinking spending the day sober is boring, but I don’t want to wake up tomorrow hungover and wasting my full day, in fact I know I won’t wake up because I’ll still be up full of booze and coke.
So I’m going to fight like hell today because it’s going to be a battle, I have said I’d have breakfast at mum and dads again tomorrow to try and keep me from drinking and I have my husband in my corner sorting a takeaway for later and things to watch, because If he took me out for dinner like we used to do I would want to drink so much it would ruin the night.
Hope everyone has a great day/night
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Aww I’m sorry for your loss! It’s never easy losing a friend. Sending love and comfort to you.
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Happy Sober Birthday Michelle! You sobriety honestly is by far the best gift you could ever give yourself. You’re doing this for you. This is self-love at its very best lady. And BTW, sober isn’t boring at all. So much more possibilities to celebrate and have fun when not under the influence. Sobriety being boring is just another lie our addicted minds tell us. And, sadly, a big part of society does too. Be absolutely sure it’s all lies. Have a great sober day Michelle!
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Happy Birthday Michelle!
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Hey Thomas…How are you doing?
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Thank you I needed to hear this today, I’m not at the stage yet where my brain tells me it’s great being sober, it still creeps in and tells me it’ll be better having a few drinks, but I’ll get there ODAAT 
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Happy birthday!! Stay strong! Sounds like you have some support with your husband in your corner. Sober birthdays are awesome! Especially, when you don’t wake up hung over and can remember the night before. Good luck
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