I almost caved in today but managed to get through it. I was planning on going to the weed shop on my trip home but my daughter asked to come with me so I didn’t.
I find that my strength dwindles midday. I’m ok in the morning and evening. Does anyone else have ups and downs in the day too?
Day 11 coming to a close just left an NA meeting I needed that bad …hope everyone still clawing at there sobriety …all love everyone …goodnite
23 days dry for me… no more days waisted time to stay healthy.
8 days AF! just returned from a mini vacation in Texas and it was just wonderful. so glad to be sober 
Day 93 no alcohol
What a bitch of a day. Had I had alcohol or the same inclination to drive to the store I do believe I would have had a drink. I need to start looking for a new job. The way this position is set up I’m responsible for other people doing their job. I’m not in management for that very reason. I don’t want to babysit.
I’m sober, exhausted and ready for bed. Sleep well all.
@pdebs How are you doing Sarah?
@foxmccloud great to see you doing well and having managed stress so well. Its lovely to hear that you are so happy
Amazing work on day 2! WOW – I love that you created your own support group and are finding healthier ways to manage a stressful day. You should be proud of how you spent the day. Keep strong my friend – we are also right here if you need to talk
@deelzebub how are you doing Delia? Been thinking about you all day. I do hope you managed to get in touch with your therapist. 
@hoss look at you knocking on 1 months door! Grateful that you found a sober coach – one that you resonate with. Glad you are already thinking ahead to your trip and where you might feel triggered or urged. Not letting that scenario happen! Possibly pack a cooler with your own beverages of choice to have with you at the hotel. Take yourself out to dinner / movie or log on here and chat with us so that you don’t have time to sit alone in the hotel room. Love all the things you are doing in your sobriety journey – keep it going!
@mindofsobermike BE PROUD for sure! That is an amazing grade. Show off that grade Mike – you did awesome.
@jenny1972 double digits is amazing work! 
@calgary5577 so grateful for the universe (ie. Your daughter coming with you today and stopping that side stop to the weed shop). Yes – it’s normal to have ups and downs – most important thing is to identify the periods when the downs occur so you can find ways to prepare for them. Take a walk or a shower or work out… something that will keep you busy and kill the urge. Coming here and chatting / reading works wonders for me. Keep strong my friend – you are doing fantastic
@john1990 11 days is awesome – grateful that you had a NA meeting to attend and hope that it helped. Hang in there my friend – the intensity does calm down with time. Keep strong 
@JuliaLuna Yeah to enjoying your mini vacation and doing so sober! That is a milestone in itself! Keep going with 8 days in the bag.
Evening Check In
Day 582
Today has been busy and productive. Got all the grocery shopping done plus a quick workout. Finding myself doing alot of comparison tho to others. Will have to sort thru that soon bcuz its been a common theme lately in my life. I end up feeling less than and not good enough. Other than that, everything is going pretty good. My son goes back to school tmrw. That means a good workout is in store for me. Going to finish up a dreamcatcher and do some cleaning also. So looking forward to a chill day tmrw. Have a good night everyone! 
Oh Dana — I know this is a slippery slope. You have no reason to feel less than!
Check you out - you are a brilliant woman! A caring loving mother and wife. So talented and doing so well in your sobriety journey. Having come so far in life and absolutely crushing it!!
Girl you ROCK! I feel like when we look at others we only see the outside (the good stuff - the stuff that outsiders are allowed to see – everyone has the feelign like they could be more at times – its the human condition) - YOU are a shining star my friend! Just be you and shine on 
Today felt like the longest day ever
Daughter off to school. I was cleaning a bit when my landlord came to gut the neighbors apartment. He wanted to spray for bugs today instead of tomorrow. I stripped the beds/furniture, loaded the laundry, let them in, and had 4 minutes to make it to my Dr’s appt.
I warned them my BP might be high bc I was still out of breath. 124/82, so not bad. My last 2 visits I was borderline hypertension so I’ve been worried about that. I was also overweight and still drinking at that time.
I had to pay my water bill, which is located in the police station. They unexpectedly had a brand new metal detector as you walk in the door. They took my pocket knife, and information, while I was in the building and all I could think was “Omg! Are felons allowed to carry knives?!” Idk, nothing happened.
Then my flute was ready, and just in time bc Zoi starts band tomorrow. I took a nice country drive out to his shop. It looks brand new! Of course my procrastination had me drive to 3 music stores bc they were sold out of the book she needed (I knew about this months ago 
)
I had no intention of doing so much laundry today but it had to be done. My anxiety over the bed bugs out weighs everything right now. I know how fast and bad it can get if you’re not diligent. I DEEP cleaned for 7 hours, and still just scratched the surface. This will be my life for the upcoming months.
Luckily my daughter had friends over to play at the park next door so I could focus on the task at hand. We ate takeout and I took them home. Cleaned 2 more hours til Zoi went to bed. She probably thought I was nuts. She saw me clean more today than the past 3 years!
On the plus side, it’s likely I’ll be getting the stove from next door. Mine is…alright, but that one is real nice 
Anyway. Loooong day. Back screaming, exhausted, but feeling positive. This purge of junk has needed to happen for years. I’ve never truly felt comfortable in this apartment. I’m going to fix that!
to you all 
Welcome back I remember you when I first joined (i got a new name). That relapse shit sure does suck. Took me 3 years to get out of mine. Glad you’ve found your way back here. It really does help. Keep it up friend 
Day 55 and I’m holding my own. I feel at times it’s not a battle with the drink but more a battle with the anxiety it brings.
I have a system and use it but overthinking is a bad habit of mine. I’m running better and that helping, I have some big events coming up that will hopefully keep me focused. I really want to do will in these events as my running career is it it’s twilight and I’d like to finish up well.
Focused, confident and at peace, that’s my motto for today 
Well done! Sometimes (sometimes!), teachers give you an early grade that they hope will give you cause to push rather than relax because they see that you can achieve something fantastic. Don’t be too bummed! As @Misokatsu says, that’s great for a first assignment.
18
18 days sober …
Fully committed.
Recovering body and mind.
Had a nearly 8 hours sleep tonight without a break. I just remember how often I woke up during heavy times in my job,
or… With a pumping, furious heart after an evening of drinking…
or, with running thoughts about that guy, when he gave everything with his silly show.
Now I can rest… Hellyeah how glad I am.
Day 87. Tired . Walking our feet off here. Venice is remarkable.
Have found there is limited choice of non alcoholic drinks but there are alternatives though, and i prefer water with good food.
Going to be sober today 
Checking in on 120 days.
4 months of feeling sooo much better. Life is good.
Have a beautiful sober day everyone!
Day 248.
I just woke up and the absolute insanity that is being close to my family is finally starting to wear me down. They are pulling me in the mad veneration cult of the narcissus asshole my dad is and won’t stop until they snub my light out.
On the surface, none of the things they do are that bad, it’s an accumulation of little slights building up over decades.
They gaslight me with the smallest most insignificant issues. Like yesterday, my aunt got in a right huff when she called the place I’m staying in a studio and I dared to correct her. It’s not. Objectively it’s a one-bedroom apartment. It’s got an open plan kitchen/living room and a separate bedroom. With doors. And two hallways.
Why did that have to turn into such a big fucking issue? She was objectively wrong. But made me feel like an idiot who doesn’t know anything.
Yesterday my husband asked me how I coped growing up like this. I… didn’t. I was drinking, smoking (cigarettes), and engaging in dangerous promiscuity. Anything to feel anything. Then I moved to another country and found weed, cocaine and even more promiscuity to deal with the CPTSD.
I wasn’t ok when I was 2000 miles away, I wasn’t ok when I was no contact (that’s a cute buzzword, when I was doing it, the internet hadn’t caught on), I wasn’t ok when I was low contact.
Now I’m sober and very much in (constant) contact. And guess what? I’m still not ok.
The plan is to spend the winter here. But at this point, an isolated hut in Antarctica sounds more appealing.
Hi Jasmine. I pretty much spent the day in bed with a hot water bottle on my chest. My son ordered me some fries with the food he got for himself and his sister and I managed to eat them plus some sourdough toast with jam. I have my GP appointment today mid morning, which is a twenty minute walk away. It’s a full, damp morning here. “Dreich “ is the Scots word for weather like this.
Day 365/1st Year AF
Well I’m finally home after an 11 hour day.
This year has been a year, definitely been some very trying situations but I cracked my first year Alcohol Free.
Im happy a bit more healthy and definitely better for having givin up.
Dont think I’ve been missed much round here but being here has helped get me through! So thanks team.
Ahhh that’s amazing, well done friend 
Hey there- checking in with 538 days.
I decided to pull the pin on my sons high school and start homeschool. It was scary, but necessary for his and our mental health. We are all feeling better about it already, much less pressure for him, a slower pace to learn at home without class rooms full of distractions and constantly feeling behind and not good enough. I’ve read a lot of material on helping with adhd learning, accessing my online resources. He has sports and active groups outside of school, and lots of friends as well. So I know that he will be okay socially.
Along with that I’m still able to work from home and have had amazing opportunities and feedback at work. Opportunities for growth and promotions. I’m very blessed I can do the work I do, and support my family at the same time.
Thanks for reading 
