Checking in on day 87, feeling a little disconnected from reality, but good overall.
Hope you all are well 
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Checking in
Day 584
Its been a pretty chill day. My boy went to school so i was able to putter away at a few things. Got the laundry done. Finished up a dreamcatcher. Had a nap. Drank coffee. It was pretty relaxing. Got a call from homecare. Instead of me having to do 3 nights in a row with my son, I now only have to do 1 (Sunday night). And thats manageable. Thank God for that!
I am still have using thoughts though. My mind says to me, āI wish i could do it just onceāā¦ but we all know that once leads to many more times. I should know this by now! Lol like my brain is ridiculous. The lies it tells myself lol All the times i have ever said this over the 22 years of addiction, had all gone down the same way. I used once and it went back to being just as bad as where I left off. So why put myself thru that? Ive been trying to talk to myself and sort of get this line of thinking out of my head. But its been days of me thinking like this. Not good. I will work thru it tho. I think what I need is a stronger spiritual connection to my HP. Thats been distant lately. Will focus on that connection today and moving forward and see if that helps.
Hope everyone is having a good day! 
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Hi all I have a quick questionā¦. Iām on my second day of sobriety from drinking for almost two years. Iām noticing that my nose keeps running and I have to keep blowing it. Is that normal? How long does it normally last?
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Ur definitly not alone 
I myself have been on and off a wide mix of antidepressants and antipsyhcotics since the age of 16. They are there for a reason and honestly being in recovery now, i really rely on my meds to keep me emotionally balanced. I didnt always like the idea of having to be on medication but why put myself and my loved ones (bcuz my poor mental health damaged relationships in a sense) thru this when there is a solution (meds) for whats going on.
I am so grateful u went to ur yoga class. And that the instructor made u feel more comforted in all this. Ur worth a happy life 
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Congratulations on your 30 days Martha.
So happy for you.
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Congratulations on your 10 days Julia.
So glad youāre back.
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Congratulations on your 70 days Patty.
Iām so happy you like that Courage To Change book.
ODAAT
So glad you found us.
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Day 40*
Feeling a tad bit overwhelmed. Have to start my psych search over again as my new one thought itād be best to seek out someone who specializes in addiction. Work continues to be stressful and I continue to struggle to leave it at the door. I need to reexamine my hours/breaks/boundaries. This has become increasingly difficult working from home. This is something I need to own and actively work to correctā¦ I am in an unsustainable place.
With all of this I am also still feeling so grateful to be sober. Iām happy to acknowledge hey I need some help, a ton of help, to keep moving forward. Iām grateful for the opportunity to find and access community, doctors, support. I remember when finding those resources felt impossible to me so I canāt complain about the work it takes to find and establish them, just tired I supposeā¦
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Nope ā¦I pissed hot on monday for fetty n the test canāt detect xylazine so they assume itās in my systemā¦
So hopefully n supposed to get on this monday
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Still sober n sick af
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Yeahā¦I havenāt slept in days n you know how the rest goesā¦Im like feeling worse as time goes by when itās usually the opposite
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Hey!!! Congratulations on 3 whole years!!! 
Amazing work!
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Hugs love ā I know how hard feeling the feelings can be. I do hope the crying helped cleanse you and make you lighter. Grateful you dealt with them in a healthy manner.
@catmancam AAAH SAD ā thank you for clarification. Have you looked into Lightbox therapy? Grateful that you are getting in your routines and walks ā Iām sorry that the depression is so heavy. I do hope you feel some relief soon. Have a wonderful time celebrating your nieceās birthday tomorrow
What is going on love? Do you want to talk about it ā I do hope it gets easier --closing in on 90 days my friend. Keep strong 
@butterflymoonwoman OH THANK GOD ā so damn grateful that you do have some relief for 2 of the 3 three nights. I do hope moving forward they do take the scheduling job seriously. Oh love ā grateful that you know not to listen to the lies. Yes to finding that connection and strengthening your sobriety muscles.
@daniellegurl at the beginning of my sobriety I was a bit sick (I did quit in winter so not sure if the running nose was sobriety related.
@ceeds great job on 40 days! You are doing awesome ā I do wish you luck with figuring out your work situation and setting boundaries 
Checking in on Wednesday evening.
273 days free of alcohol and weed
688 days free of cigarettes
I am grateful to be snuggled in bed. I will be talking with my doctor tomorrow. Each PT session leaves me in pain afterwards (never as bad as the 1st session). I have also become very swollen - i thought it would get better eventually but my severe inflammation is much worse since i started PT - very frustrated that just the light movements are causing this. I know i was told i canāt do exercise or anything to get my heart rate elevated but come on -this stuff is not moving. This will be my last session with PT.
I am currently watching some Marvelous Mrs Maisel and enjoying a espresso dark chocolate bar 
Its bitter and strong!
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jasmine, sorry youāre dealing with such pain and inflammation. Hope you feel better soon and can get some help from doctor, the espresso bar sound delicious! I treated myself today with pumpkin and pecan frozen custard. Unreal! Rest well tonight, dear Jazzyš
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Thank you! Thank you for your kind words. Your replies to everyone here have so much thoughtfulness and compassion. They are helpful for me even when not directed at me. I appreciate you.
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Thank you Patricia ā damn your dessert sounds great too
The chocolate bar is Perugina Italia ā so creamy for dark chocolate.
Appreciate you - am resting up
you are sweet - thank you
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Day 95 without alcohol
Iām tired and my back hurts
Good night
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Congratulations Paul 
Itās so nice to see you still around here. I remember we were both having some ups and downs around the same time way back when. Iām so happy for you! Youāve come a long way old friend 
3 years is superb!
Remember funny face fred? Still gets me 
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