Long day 2, but a good day. Still slept like garbage last night, up every two hours, but had a good day at work. Got home early and mowed the lawn, vacuumed the whole house, cleaned the bathrooms and got my laundry done. Can already feel the difference of not getting drunk as soon as i get home.
My girlfriend gets home tomorrow after being gone 3 weeks. She’s only home for two days and then moves across the country for her job. We aren’t doing the long distance relationship thing, her job is too demanding. Should be an emotional two days. Not going to drink though.
She has lived with me for a year, but traveled a lot for work. Going to feel strange living alone again. My sons off to college, my daughter stays a few nights a week so that’s good, but basically alone.
Going to be interesting, but i don’t mind being alone, I know i will miss the connection of my girlfriend living here.
Headed to bed, really hoping tonight is better then the last two.
You ever have those unsuccessful yawns, where it’s like you don’t get that last full breath to end it? So unsatisfying. I’ve had them all day.
Tonight at work was the polar opposite of yesterday. Prime rib night. I had tables in all 3 rooms and running around nonstop for 4 hours. It was a workout. At the peak of my busyness, I was delivering a bottle of wine with 3 glasses and tried carrying extra stuff so not to waste time on another trip. Walking through a full dining room, one (empty) glass fell off the tray and exploded into 100 pieces into a radius of 5 feet! Someone just yells “Opa!” I laugh at my mistakes bc what else can you do? Crazy night but it was great.
Gotta be back there 9 hours from now. Lunch shift by myself. Then an overdue dentist appointment for my daughter and I. She just lost a tooth this morning. I gotta go be the tooth fairy before bed. Keep racking in the days folks! I’m seeing some impressive numbers up there👍
Morning all. 56 days, nice little weekend coming up and I know I will be sober throughout. It’s reassuring to know I won’t have to face the fallout of a big session.
Remembering things like.
The danger I’d put myself in.
The cost $$$
The upset I’d cause my wife and kids
The horrible feeling of coming out of a 4 day bender.
The guilt the sickness.
The anxiety and inability to function.
I recall those feelings to help me not pick up the first 6 pack.
Have a great day
Seems a lifetime ago but yep the proof is in the pudding… Never Stop Trying & Do The Things You Don’t Want To Do.
AND DO IT ALL TOGETHER ONE DAY AT A TIME.
I relapsed on my DOC and I’m in the midst of a small panic attack. I had one week clean from weed and something happened at work and then I did the same amount I usually would and went way overboard.
Im worried I went too far and I won’t ever be normal again. I have work in 5 hours and I just pray I’ll be ok then. This feeling is awful and I don’t want to use again. I’m going to throw it away.
Why do I do this to myself just when things are going well?
Anyway, checking in from the dark bottomless pit of my ongoing nervous breakdown. Was supposed to move to the new place today but I’m burried in work and errands. It’s never-ending. I’m tired.
I gotta get out of bed. But I don’t wanna.
I want junk food. And trash telly. And for my fucking phone to stop buzzing.
Actually, I don’t want junk food. Maybe chocolate.
Update on the moth situation. There were 3 moths. I killed two, managed to catch and release the third. I feel guilty for the murders, but… to my defense, they were annoyingly loud. And I DID try catching them gently first.
Checking in 26 days AF! It’s been a busy week at work so I’m having a hard time keeping up here. TS never sleeps!
@Dolse71 huge congrats on years sober, Paul!! That’s amazing! Keep going!
@DanaM56 your post made me laugh! I’m not laughing at you, but I just pictured it like an SNL skit where you walk in the room, say your lines, then turn around and walk right back out. (sometimes I create my own fun.) But I’m sorry your back is hurting, I hope you got some good rest and feel better today!! Congrats on 95 days, triple digits are right around the corner friend! Keep going!!!
@Hidden sorry you’re going through all of that. Great job getting all the chores done and staying sober one more day! My best (unsolicited) advice as you head into living alone, learn to date yourself! When I divorced and moved out on my own (with my kiddos) I had to adjust to not being with them 24/7 while they would go to their dad’s. I learned to embrace that time I had to myself, rediscovered me, the things I like, how I want to spend my time. I found peace and joy in my life for the first time. It’s what I’m trying to get back to now that I’m sober. Best wishes, keep putting in the work, and it will get better!
@Just_Laura you are a busy lady! Glad the dinner crowd seemed gracious over the broken glass, I’m sure they could all read the room and see how busy you all are, mistakes are bound to happen! Shout out to the diner who let out an “OPA!” I’m sure it lightened the mood! Hang in there today!!!
My 11yo just lost a tooth last week. I told her last year the tooth fairy wasn’t real and it was me. I SUCK at remembering- so this tooth fairy had to write so many notes, I made excuses for the tooth fairy (must have had too many teeth to collect tonight ), I even paid interest on tooth money!!! well she complained last week that the tooth fairy hadn’t come for her tooth. I was all child, I told you I’m the tooth fairy, I’ll just give you the money. She was NOT happy with that, I was told “I don’t know why you keep saying that, you’ve ruined my childhood!!!” I laughed and said “it was this? This is what ruined your childhood?! I’ve done far worse shit then tell you the tooth fairy isn’t real, that’s just me being honest.” The joys of parenting- So don’t ruin your daughter’s childhood lol, I hope playing the tooth fairy last night went well!!
@Juli1 woohooo!!! Congrats on 20 days, Julia!! Keep going!!!
That is a cool number! Proud of you for not using while your going through this and it probably feels like there’s many reasons to use. Glad you’re choosing you, the one bigger more important reason to stay sober!!
Hope you get some rest and find some energy for your move! I totally relate to junk food and trash tv! Lol sometimes I use it to bargain with myself… if you do x, y, z then you can eat junk and watch trash at xx time or xx day. Usually by the time it rolls around I’m not as interested, or I sit my ass down and enjoy it after getting shit accomplished. Also relate to the phone, at least once a week I say I’m walking down to the river to chuck my phone in!! Buzzing phone is the source of so much anxiety.
Don’t feel bad for the murders, you gave them a chance to go peacefully. They would have moved in, not paid rent, and ate your clothes or bedding without feeling bad about it. And they were noisy houseguest!
Hang in there, Amy!!! Hope you find some relief soon!!!
It took me time…when I got sober from weed it was long. With everything I put my body through I am just thankful i dont have any problems.
Its normal to be discouraged at times, and mad…dont hold on to the negative feelings, feel them and let them go…be your own best friend, be thankful and understanding towards your body. And dont underestimate it, it will get back to normal with time
Have a great 24h. Sending you lots of love
I get you!
Glad you are showing up here instead of the wine aisle! We got you friend!!
And thank you!! the first week was tough, the rest has kinda flown by. Life has been busy and I haven’t had any real desire to drink. I knew I needed to quit drinking months ago, and deep down I wanted to. Similar to when I divorced my first husband. I knew it was coming for months, so when I finally said it and made that decision there was no turning back. This time I divorced Jack Daniels, it was months in the making so I’m sure of that decision. I know a lot of people struggle on here, so I don’t like saying much about how it hasn’t really been hard for me. But I’m staying mindful that it could get hard months from now. I know my addict brain is waiting for me to get comfortable and 6 months from now pop up and be all it’s cool, go ahead and have a drink. I’m deeply aware it won’t always be easy, but I’m also deeply aware it’s worth it. So ODAAT. Thank you again for your kind words and celebration!
You ever have those unsuccessful yawns, where it’s like you don’t get that last full breath to end it? So unsatisfying. I’ve had them all day.
