Wow!! this was was an eye opening read. Thank you taking the time to write this post.
What a beautiful realization that you are the woman you had dreamt of being.
Grateful for you and your words. 
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I love this.
Let go, or be dragged.
Such a beautiful realization.
Happy for you.
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27
Evening checkin.
Guided home
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Evening, folks.
I posted elsewhere the other night about feeling extremely anxious about ticking over to being the age that my dad died (alcohol related illness) and the existential weirdness that comes with this.
Iām still up from Tuesday morning now, and feeling weirder as a result. Thereās too much going on at home to talk about this so Iām going to check in here.
Iām feeling pretty dark and jittery but not thirsty so thatās good. 43 years old and 4.3 years dry
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That sounds tough. We are almost the same age and I have 64 in my head, so 22 years left. It must feel strange to pass your Dadās age. Are you able to go to sleep soon? Take care of yourself 
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Iām not going to lie, itās a LOT harder than I thought it was going to be so far. I think maybe Iāve always felt a bit invincible and now it feels like anything bad could happen at any time and itās a bit scary. Itās helpful to be able to type it out though so thanks for the reply 
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Aaaah, I get that. Navigating our 40s is hard enough, but to have lost your Dad so young just compounds it. I really hope you are able to sleep soon and tomorrow is easier. Massive congratulations on the 4.3 years 
We canāt control everything but you have taken huge steps for your health.
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Day 96
I feel blessed to have got through day one. Each day is a fresh commitment to sobriety.
I feel lucky to have this opportunity to be sober and to keep humble and move forward. Have a good evening folks
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Good to see you checking in friend.
I am very sorry for what you are going through. Remind yourself that you are living a healthy lifestyle and making positive changes for your family.
Are you able to think about the positive memories of your father?
He did pass at a very early age. You are your own man and have your own life cycle to live.
Talk with us, surround yourself with comedy or light music to bring you out of the darkness.
We are here with you
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Thanks. Iāve definitely got some nice memories and Iāve certainly got a great deal to be grateful for, right under my nose, but this recurring feeling of being a very sad and scared teenager has caught me off guard at a pretty tense time at home. Writing it down feels like holding it for a minute and putting it down which feels like a good way to go I think.
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Evening check in, will be 2 weeks in 15 minutes. Had quite strong cravings earlier but I have finally recognised my that if I eat something it goes away. It really is that simple 
I mean I always knew the HALT thing, but didnāt realise how much hunger in the evening was a trigger for me, and how easy it was to solve. It means I only really have to cope with a small window of cravings as I never drank during the day anyway.
I am tucked up in bed now, candle burning, and grateful that my migraine has gone and my cold seems to not be developing.
Thank you all for sharing. It really helps keep me company during the evening craving.
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Oh Iām so grateful that writing it out and sharing here helps. This is a safe space. Keep talking it out.
Your feelings are validā¦take time to feel them.
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Thatās brilliant. I think breaking the 2 week mark was when I really knew I could keep it up - I hope it makes you feel as bolstered as I did at the time
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Thank you Jasmine! Iām proud of myself but could not have done it without the support of my sober community.
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Me too. It will open. But itās locked for now 
23 
Locked as our subtle connection with Higher Power! When we are using, we indeed lowering our frequencies and actually loosing our connection. We also are welcoming more lower waves of reality, darker, cruel and destructive.
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Welcome Sophie and congratulations on your 111 days!
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Checking In
Day 592
Feeling pretty good about things. I somehow was able to exercise the past 2 days and eat well. And honestly my body is thanking me for it!
Today has been a laid back day. Son is at school, I got some cleaning done (still have a bit more to do), got my 45 min of cardio in, and even had a 1 hour nap 
Im really excited for my son. He got invited to his first birthday party from a classmate. It brings me a lot of joy bcuz i was concerned that he would have a hard time making friends due to his physical disabilities. But apparently his classmate only wanted to invite certain kids and my son was one of them. Makes my heart happy. Tomorrow theres no school for him so we are heading out as a family to get my son new glasses and then pick out a present for his classmate. The party is this weekend.
Hope everyone is doing well today 
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Day 0 no form of marijuana
Day 141 no alcohol
Day 72 no vapes or ciggs
Just checking in
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Awe thank you! 
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