Checking out day 48.
Tired. Overwhelmed. I had a phone consultation with a trauma informed iop today. I am experiencing some fun new physical symptoms that seem directly related to my poor stress management. As the stress built at work this week, so did the symptoms. Bath, recovery reading, and hopefully get some better sleep tonight. I’ve been averaging 2-3 hrs the last few nights. Not sustainable.
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I love this 
Thanks for sharing friend.
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Day 712 AF
Hey, gang.
I got behind on this thread.
I’m currently on my 24 hr ph monitor testing. A bit of discomfort with a tube down my throat, but I’m surviving. The endoscopy was a cake-walk compare to this. Hopefully, the docs can figure it out what’s causing my symptoms. Anyways, everything else is good. Staying busy with the kiddos and the fam. Watching TNF right now. Finished TWD season 10 with the wifey, and caught on some Spidey movies. I’m pretty stoked for my 2 yr soberversary in a few weeks. This year flew by. 1st year was one hell of a ride. Ty you all for your posts and stories. It helped me get through some tough times. Much love and congrats on everyone’s sobriety. Take care.
ODAAT. Stay strong.
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I will hit 71 months on the last day of this.
The music festival to end all music festivals for elder millennials 
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@sadmemequeen I do hope that your day got better Megan. Enjoy your peace and quiet 
@anon74766472 Cheers to not giving up and rigging up your bike the way you intended – I do hope you have a lovely ride this weekend.
@jennyh 2 week milestone! That is awesome Jenny!!! Grateful that your cold didn’t develop and your migraine is gone. Here’s to another 24 my friend 
@butterflymoonwoman grateful that you are doing well and back to your routines. SO excited for your son’s 1st birthday party. That will be such a wonderful time 
@hesmyportion Well done on your day 5! Use the tools you have learned from past attempts – make changes where you find facing triggers. You are not alone here – keep checking in – keep showing up for yourself cause we are stronger together 
@ceeds I’m so sorry that you are feeling overwhelmed and damn the shitty sleep. I do hope you are able to get some more hours in tonight. I do hope the stress eases for you my friend. We are here if you want to talk about it.
@sobrietyForMe 1 week is amazing and waking up without a hangover, remembering what you did the day before, just feeling good about your accomplishments – THIS FEELING can’t be beat. Keep adding on the days
@goku2019 I do hope that they are able to get some answers for you soon my friend so that you can begin the healing process.
@englishd 71 months is impressive. Hell of a way to celebrate – that is a sweet line up. Hope you have a blast!
Checking in on Thursday evening
281 days free of alcohol and weed
696 days free of cigarettes
Its been an interesting day. I have not been able to shake this migraine but luckily i still managed to watch a few shows to stay entertained today. The prep for my procedures wasn’t as bad as I had imagined (not that it was a cake walk or something I ever want to repeat). Lucky that I did not get any nausea - actually I am hungry. Relieved that my procedures are early tomorrow morning so I will finally have this behind me and be able to eat solid foods.
I do hope everyone had a wonderful addiction free day today. Sending you all so much love
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I hope everything goes well tomorrow with ur procedures 
glad they are in the morning. U must be hungry
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Thanks love! 
I am starving and trying not to think about it
problem is i can’t sleep with a growling tummy. don’t want to keep drinking cause then i’ll be peeing all night … its all good and worth it if i get some answers.
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65 days… I have some triggers coming up in the next week or 2 but I’m confident I can ride it out. I’ve not taken any AF beer during my time either which I’m happy about. During my last attempt I leaned in it a bit too much.
We’re into the weekend in a few hours and I’m feeling positive about things.
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Day 10:
Besides still being tired, so looking forward to the weekend, today was a pretty good day. Work was managable, day ran pretty smoothly. Had a simple example of why I’m so glad to be sober.
Im usually home from work between 3:00-4:00, even though I’m on the phone for hours every night making sure jobs get finished, but at least I’m home.
First thing i used to do when i got home was crack open the bottle, ensuring that i was stuck in my home until the next morning. Today was like most days, got home at 3:30, but now there’s no alcohol.
I got a pbone call at 4:00 from the owner of the company. There was a key to an office building we are starting a new job at tomorrow that needed to be picked up. In the past i would of had to lie about why i couldn’t go get it because i would have already been drunk.
It was refreshing to be able to make the drive to pick up the key. I like being dependable, someone who can be counted on to get things done and i hate lying, gives me anxiety. These little victories give me so much joy, made the hour round trip drive with a smile. No victories such as that in the bottom of a bottle.
Rounded out the night watching my daughter play volleyball, perfect ending! She’s a senior in high school so this will be her last year of playing. Love that i can be present and sober to enjoy every last game.
Going to try and fight my sleep demons tonight, wish me luck!
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Omg, my allergies are out of control! My nose is so stuffy and runny with post nasal drip. The roof of my mouth is itchy, and I learned as a child I could do this weird thing with my tongue to itch it, but too much makes it raw. Eyes bloodshot and puffy. Headaches. COPD acting up. I’ve always had this allergy, but it seems so much worse this year. This morning I became itchy all over, kind of like hives, but different. Apparently ragweed can cause rashes too! Calamine helped a little bc I don’t have any antihistamines.
Anyways, work was pretty busy. Pasta night, where they cook your dish to order in front of you. At one point their pans were getting pretty smokey and I said “I hope they’re not too close to the smoke detector” which is about 25 feet up.10 minutes later, with about 100 diners, the whole buildings alarm went off. Service didn’t stop and it really took an extra toll on my lungs. How have I ended up in 3 situations during a fire alarm in the past month?!
Well, not the best day, but it could be worse. I could be drunk rn and hungover tomorrow. I’m glad that’s not the case. Sleep sounds great 
Goodnight
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1574
Getting back to individual therapy this morning. I hear people saying that if therapy is something you’re looking forward to, it’s no good. I hope that’s untrue because I am.
Yesterday had a funeral of an old patient of mine. Quite a lot of similarities to my own life yet it panned out rather different. Just as unsafe and unstable a family background. He was in the streets for 20+ years. Just a little bit more wild, adventurous and irresponsible than I was. Prone to psychoses. Addicted to everything he could lay his hands on. An intelligent, sensitive, charming, cheating, manipulative, provocative human being. The stories told by his family triggered lots of memories from Amsterdam in the 70’s and 80’s, which was a grittier and grimier time and place. Rest in peace Harmen.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love from the red light district, where Harmen roamed the streets.
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Right, i need to stop focusing on the unfairness involved in my situation with my daughters dad…yes everything is on me financially, yes its me who has to do all the running around to facilitate her seeing him but im doing it for her not him and life isnt fair so i will stop feeling hard done by keep my head up and make the best of it
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Checking in.
Balanced.
Very hungry. Lol.
Much love 
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Congratulations on 71 months and going to an awesome festival.
Had to google Elder Milennials, wtf? As if early 40s didn’t make me feel old enough I now find out I am considered a ‘geriatric milennial’, and the oldest of them as a 1981 birth year!? Generation X are so much cooler 
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@JazzyS Sending you strenght for your procedure today.
@Mno that sounds like bs to me, one of my first therapists was highly confrontational and quite aggressive in her approach. Not only was I not looking forward to our sessions, but more often than not I found myself stubbornly defending my terrible life choices and rationalizing them.
The last time I ever saw her, she went after my now-husband. Hard. I stopped seeing her after that, she was wrong about him. She was wrong about a lot of things. She was also right about a lot of things, but it became impossible for me to know the difference and in the long run, it didn’t help me at all.
I’m happy to hear you’re enjoying your therapy sessions and get value from them. That’s how it’s supposed to be.
Day 258.
Well… now that I’m not running on pure stress-induced adrenaline, I don’t quite know what to do with myself. The plan today is to take it easy. Do a bit of work, maybe a bit of cleaning, watch a nice telly show…
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Morning all, checking in on Day 15. Still fighting this cold but feel like it won’t get worse than this as it hasn’t already. Slept in this morning which was nice, almost 10 hours of sleep. I am trying to do everything right to clear it. Previously I would have used alcohol to give me a temporary boost so would probably have made it a lot worse. The fact that I have plodded on with it and my husband (who doesn’t usually get sick) has been floored has made me quite proud. He went out last Friday and the combination of the alcohol and lack of sleep meant his body was too low to fight it. Obviously feel sad for him too. He doesn’t usually drink so he has been unlucky really.
Half day on Fridays at work. I am hoping to get to the gym and pool but may have to see how I feel. My body may decide it wants a nap.
The job I am going to go for was advertised yesterday. Sent me into a bit of a state of questioning myself. I know it has to be done properly but find it so hard to put myself out there with the application and hopefully interview. I need to do it but definitely out of my comfort zone (somewhere I like to spend all my timenas a rule).
Have a good day everyone 
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I would be happy at this . Congrats
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Good luck Jenny, you have nothing to lose with the job application. Just go for it. Hope you start to feel better soon.
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No alcohol 33 days
No Codeine 0 days
First morning with no Codeine and it’s been running through my mind constantly already, this one will be harder than alcohol, I’m taking it “one minute at a time”.
@JazzyS thanks for checking on me Jasmine and not giving up, your support always means a lot, your right I need to start reaching out on here when I’m in that “hide away” mood, I’ve always been pretty self sufficient and never relied on anyone due to let down after let down in the past so it’s hard for me to reach out, but I’m still here trying to connect
@Englishd now that’s a festival I would love to be at, Jimmy Eat World are great 
enjoy it
@Qhob13 Hey Quinn how’s my sober buddy today? Sending some sober high fives
@SadMemeQueen Hey Megan, how have you been, hope you’ve been a little better than I have the last few day’s
@Juli1 28 days and still smashing it I’m so happy for you
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Had a great concert last night after some beautiful Greek food. Bottle of sparkling water with dinner and a pint of ice water in the venue. It was amazing watching the drinkers keep getting up to refresh drinks. Actually it was downright annoying as they made the line keep standing up and blocking my view! What a terrible thing to keep missing a concert to queue for booze…
Today I’m off to the drs for my poor arthritic knees. Working all day. Then gym, food and early night with my new book.
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