Day 85
Just checking in.
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Your not cliche man and Iām sorry for the way I have acted. This isnt what I thought was gonna happen. I wanted college and I wanted the better life. Iām scared, Iām mad I donāt know what to do. I donāt care about myself. Iām upset for my girls they donāt deserve this
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Bro Iāll be by your side and on your team for good. You donāt have to have all the answers right now, you just have to do the next right thing. Baby steps my friend
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Friday night 32 check in.
I did it.
I left work early for myself, no shits given.
Did my week 3 run 1 C25k
LOVED my swim afterwards, left all the negatives of the week in that pool, right there. 
Came back and made lobster and crab linguine with capers and lemon and fennel. Watching my lionesses now in the Olympic qualifiers.
Life improves when you hang on tight, even if you are taking just the tiniest steps forward.
Thanks for the encouragement all,much love 
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Iām checking in on day 27 ā¦
to wish yaāll a fab Friday and weekend. I am putting my phone down for a couple of days.
I feel good and want some me time ā¦ and hubby time, we got more renoās to do.
Make yourselves great again ā¦ cuz you have it in you 
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Thank you so much, you always seem to really get me. You are spot on with the always trying to go back as soon as I have any energy (or stress). Today I balanced it well, nap and the gym. I am going to try and spend more time in balance I think. Thank you 
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56
Back home sober.
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Checking in, 43 days.
I have my snore and peace tea, curled up in bed with a book (and Spurs are winning, and top of the league!) All is right with my world right now
I hope everyone has a peaceful, sober evening.
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So pleased your day improved, and the Lionesses did it. Well done on getting out there and making healthy choices with your food and exercise! I managed the gym but the maltesers got me 
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Haha, the Velvetiser hot chocolate just called out to meā¦ And I answeredā¦ 
.
I feel a million dollars compared to before. My body and mind crave exercise I think.
What book are you reading? Enjoy!
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Sounds amazing 
Well I will be reading āThe History of the Countrysideā by Oliver Rackham, but atm I am reading about the VAR decision at Crystal Palace. Need to step away reallyā¦we still won and I donāt play Fantasy football so it makes zero difference to my life 
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Sounds interesting, the book, something I would read! Donāt get me started on VAR. 
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Sending strength, so sorry you are all going through this
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Iām thinking a lot of all of you recently.
This community is simply amazing.
Iām sorry I can hardly catch up with all the post on here but I want you to know that I appreciate every of your statements, every shared story or thought.
I want to send prayers and love to everyone who struggles. I believe in you. You can make it! Big hugs 
I want to say congratulations on every single milestone, best wishes for your birthdays and THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
Iām overwhelmed by all those emotional support given.
Thank you for this open door to come in and feeling welcome at anytime 
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Thinking of you. Can I give you a laugh?
My Dad had had a stroke and my sister was texting me updates as I anxiously hovered by the phone. She meant to say āDad passed his swallow testā but the banner only displayed āDad passedā.
I had to ask her to choose he leading words more carefully. Sending healing vibes your way.
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Checking in day 173. Still going strong.
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Day
20 no Marijuana of any form
170 no alcohol
101 no vapes or ciggs
Work is a little stressful
I cut my lozenges in halfs. Theyāre 2mg whole
Its working though
Its just enough to make me feel normal but not enough to last. Like Its working but just on that line
I got to got to get back to work now
Talk soon
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254
Idk what it is but Iām feeling very blah today. Woke up exhausted. Had a crazy busy lunch shift. I donāt even know how I got through it. Then I just couldnāt wait for my daughter to go with her dad so I could sit here alone. I should have done more with the second half of my day but I really didnāt have the will to.
Tomorrow is our childrenās trunk-or-treat party and we are supposed to dress up as Winnie the Pooh characters. Everyone got a character and were supposed to get/make a costume. I got Kanga, mostly bc I love kangaroos and Iām a mom, but what in the hell am I supposed to wear?! The boss said āget ears and a tailāā¦okay, wish me luck. Other years if a group costume was chosen it wasnāt our responsibility to buy or make one. There are only 18 kids signed up and 10 of us working! We arenāt being reimbursed and wonāt be making any money off it so the whole thing has left a sour taste in my mouth. Which is sad bc I usually love Halloween. Iām about to show up in my witch costume! but seriously, idk what Iām going to do.
Iām gonna watch something funny to try and get out of this funk. Then get to bed early bc that could be part of it. Ugh. I hope tomorrowās a better day
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Checking in on day: 213!
āāā
Blessed
āāā
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