Awe im so sorry to hear ur dealing with some health issues 
i hope ur able to rest and feel better tmrw 
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Thank you thank you!!!
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Todayās been a real shitty day, not drinking, more depression, anxiety, just canāt sit still.
I havenāt been here in months, and my apology to an old friend when I realized he lost his dog, and has a different one in the food thread pics. (thatās were the other one always was). My apologies and asking what the others name was (from the food pic).
I was tossed into the generic off topic threadā¦
That sounds about right for today. Maybe I donāt belong here. (To my friend) I wrote you an email.
Thanks to the people that wished me HBs. I appreciate you. Good night all, stay sober. 
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You belong. Iām glad youāre here, that you came back and are engaging in your recovery. Mods move things to keep threads tidy. Itās not personal. I hope you get a good nightās rest and have a better day tomorrow. 
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Checking in day 134 without alcohol
Itās been a wonderful weekend. My friend from CA came to town again and spoiled me. It was very nice. Itās been along time since Iāve had a man spoil me.
Navigating dating without alcohol has been interesting. Iām starting to get a bit fearful. Being vulnerable without alcohol is unchartered territory for me. Feelings of not feeling worthy or deserving are creeping in. Trying not to get too far ahead of myself. Trying to stay in the moment.
Still fighting fatigue from last week and my back is a bit sore. Hoping to feel better tomorrow.
So glad fall has finally arrived in AZ and the mornings and evenings are cooler.
I hope everyone sleeps well.
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Day 41:
Another night with very little sleep, 4 hours. Only slept 5 hours all weekend, insomnia sucks, but sleeping pills are worse.
Did have a great day with my kids, good brunch and I love having them around. Amazing kids. I hear a lot of people say how they miss when their kids were little, not me! Enjoyed that time during that time, but no desire to go back. I completely enjoy watching them grow and seeing their transformations into young adults. Huge day here for my son. He actually came home from his apartment at college and did his own laundry!
I had no clue he even knew what a washer and dryer were!
After they left I went to the grocery store, bought food to make meals this week. Making an effort to eat healthier and stop wasting so much money on DoorDash, love getting my food delivered, but so not worth the price and definitely not as healthy as making my own meals.
Even though I didnāt sleep much this weekend, I was able to let go of all the stress built up from a busy, hard, week at work. Last week was the first time the thought of drinking crossed my mind and Iām happy to say Iāve had none of those thoughts this weekend. Enjoyed being home, being able to decompress. Love being sober and being present and available for my kids.
Going to do my best to manage the stress of work better this week. Committed to the November workout challenge and looking forward to regular workouts again. Contacted my gym as well, boot camp type of workouts that are intense, but only 30 minutes. Starts at 5am every day, but is such a great way to start my days. All in all, life is good. Slowly, but steadily, finding my true self again and that feels amazing.
Much Love!
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You belong here. I remember you. Welcome back. It is never too late to have a last first day. 
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256
I havenāt slept well the past couple nights so my morning shifts have been trying. Idk if anyone else has ever noticed certain things happening during a full moon. I usually get headaches and have more overall pain, canāt sleep at night, and have either soo much energy or absolutely none. Maybe Iām just a lunatic 
Today was a shit show right of the bat but 
happens, and we got through it. Had a quick nap when I got home and then did a few little things around the house. Then it felt like a possible migraine was coming on so I took a pain reliever but it relieved nothing. I then had to drive for an hour in the dark and every LED headlight and streetlight was excruciatingly blinding. Why do they have to be so bright?! I can see just fine with my 11yo factory headlights.
Well, I am glad my weekend has started. I actually have 3 days off which is a nice little break. I havenāt looked ahead in the weather bc I donāt want to feel one way or another about Halloween night. Plus meteorologists around here are usually wrong anyways. Praying for decent night walking weather 
Goodnight everyone 
Stay strong 
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31
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Day 53 without alcohol. I went out for the first time since I quit drinking Friday night to a small concert, didnāt drink any boozeā¦ even had an open tab and it was nice to have fun with my friend and wake up not feeling like ass the next morning.
Time to play with the cats before bed. 
Wish you all a great start to your week. 
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Day 2510. Had a good womenās meeting today and did some consulting work. Then had pizza with the twins. Not looking forward to tomorrow being Monday with a long commute and long work day. But happy to be employed and able to pay the bills so I canāt really complain. Feels good to not be drinking over Mondays and life.
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Checking in for my first night alone. Iām sober and turning in for the night. Tomorrow is a day off so I should be able to keep myself busy. Pleasant sober dreams to all.
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Day 128. Back at work today 
working 8
3.30 which is goodā¦ going to draft an email to.my son regarding some boundaries and pilotness.
Will make some pasta later for dinner. Itās very dark first thing nowā¦
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This topic was automatically closed after reaching the maximum limit of 2500 replies. Continue discussion at Checking in daily to maintain focus #59 (Part 31).