That all looks amazing! I get why you would be unsettled initially but great work on seeing past that to the rest of the experience. Hope your trip continues to be so lovely x
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@Mno feel better soon 
š©µ
@Alycia congrats on all the 5s 
enjoy the fesitval 
@Wakikki sorry about what happened, great advice from Binx. I hope youāve been able to eat something and it was okay now š©µ
@Trixie1 congrats on 3 weeks
@Thumper1213 congrats on 60 days
@Marlowe congrats on your week
@Rastana congrats on 30 days and your improved sleep 
@Saturn81 congrats on 40 days
@HopeDealer2 congrats on 2 weeks
@Juli1 argh the hypersensitive days are the worst 
I hope you found some ease after your swim 
š©µ
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@JennyH sending strength š©µ I can totally remember being triggered by music for such a long time after getting sober, it has only been recently that Iāve started to enjoy it on my walks again. Maybe you could use headphones in the gym and listen to what youād prefer, thatās what I did when I was going, still trying to find my way back.
@Butterflymoonwoman congrats on 600 days
@HolySquid congrats on 7 months
@Galen_82 congrats on 30 days
1152 days no alcohol.
617 days no cocaine.
132 days no vape.
Today I had to wait in all day for a delivery of my meal replacement shakes, it was due between 7:30am-7:30pm. After waiting all day and battling with not being able to do the things I felt like doing and a thing I needed to do, I then got a message to say that ādelivery could not be attemptedā, then an email from the shakes company to say theyād been advised that my parcel was ready for collection, so I clicked on the ācollection infoā link, and it says āno info available for this parcelā. Aaarrrgh, frustration overload! Iāve sent the customer service a message asking if my order can be resent via a courier, and if not then Iāve requested a refund. Iāve been using this company since 2018 and had never had any issues until they changed who they used for delivery a few months ago.
Anyway, thereās not much else to say about today. It would have been a nice day to get out for a walk, but I obviously couldnāt, Iām hoping the weather will be similar tomorrow so I can get out and see how my injury feels. When I woke up I had hoped to go swimming today, but I couldnāt do that either. I am dubious over going at the weekend (busier, brain says higher chance of abuse), so I think that will have to wait until Monday now.
Tomorrow I need to walk to the Post Office to well, post something 
before they close at 12:30pm. It should easily be achievable, and the bonus is, I can do that as my walk. I also need to collect my NRT products from the pharmacy in my hometown, so an early drive out for that will be nice too.
Wishing you all wonderful sober weekends. 
š©µ
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Have they changed to Evri? Urgh.
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Theyve changed from DPD/Evri, to Royal Mail 
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Checking in at day 76. Iām really struggling with cravings today but I donāt want to throw away 76 days of sobriety. 
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Your post and strength brought tears to my eyes. I too have always wanted to be a sober mom, so that I did not repeat the cycle I grew up inā¦and also, i just genuinely prefer beinf sober! That feeling of preferring not to drink or not even thinking of reaching for a drink or doc will come if it hasnt already. Everyones story with that seems to be different, but I hope you hold on to that HOPE & know you are not alone. I hope my share did not bring any burden, and you feel free to VENT AWAY on here. This place has been a godsend for me, and you may notice if you see me around i talk about the challenges of beinf a mom A LOT.
Stay strong mama you are doing an amazing job 
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Oh but youre making the right choice bud! Keep going 
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Oh i think its a milestone now!!! Amazing job & thank you so much for sharinf this
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I am in day 2 again. Finishing the day. Kind of numb and sick
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Fuck ya! It is!
And tomorrow is another milestone for you Dana. How friggen exciting.
Congratulations on your 600 ODAATs
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Congratulations on your 76 days.
Whatās really going on?
Check out Brianās thread.
He breaks HALT down. Itās a fantastic read.
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@Dazercat @JennyH @Soberbilly @Mira_D @CATMANCAM
Thank u all so much for the congratulations! 
You all made me smile today. Every day frew from our addictions is truly another day to celebrate
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Checking in
Day 600
This afternoon and evening have been sort of hard. Im having more using thoughts and urges. They are practically almost daily now. I dont quite understand why they happen at this point in my recovery (mind u 600 days is still very early compared to the 22 years of addiction I was in). I hear the lies that my mind is telling me and i play the tape to the end to combat that, but its like a back and forth battle in my head. Arguing over n over. Its annoying 
A part of me wishes I could use (but without all the consequences that come with it) but then am also truly grateful that Im clean.
I dont know what im doing wrong in my recovery. I dont have that spark or excitment for recovery right now. Idk whats wrong with me. Maybe if i was more involved on here. Maybe if i prayed more. Or picked up a hobby again. Maybe if I was more active in my recovery, i wouldnt be having these thoughts. And honestlyā¦ if it wasnt for my husband being so against using, i may not have gotten to 600 days. Thats me being completely honest. If my husband offered the option to use, i dont know 100% that I couldve said no. And thats scary to say and think about. I dont ever want to go back to that life and it bothers me immensely that i cant seem to get my recovery groove back. This is very similar to what happened 14 years ago when i had got my 3 years clean. Then relapsed and stayed out in the problem for over a decade. I dont want to make the same mistake again. Has anyone gone thru something similar? Just needed to get this off my chest. I need something for my recovery but idk what it is 
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Good to see you here. 
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Glad to be back! Thank you!!
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Your answer may be more simple than you think. Maybe all your recovery needs is for you to give yourself a break, and just let go. Trust the process, youre an addict and if youre anything like me you will still be having thoughts about drugs at almost 4 years. Like you said its how we dealt with life for most of our days. When my addict shows up these days to help me not feel overwhelmed or wants to help me celebrate, I find some compassion for her. Thats the only way she knows how to live and its my job as a 49 yr old woman in recovery to teach her and show her how to do things right. I dont get frustrated and berate my child when she doesnt know how to do things, so I am trying really hard not to do that to all of the parts of me who are still learning too.
Dana, busying ourselves with all the āstuffā wont fix us spiritually if we are too busy being busy to be present. Try just beingā¦ its a lot easier and it feels way better to me.
ANDā¦
CONGRATS ON YOUR 600 FOOOOKING DAYS!!!
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If i could love ur post 100x, i absolutely would 
U have such a way with words and i have always admired ur strength and determination for a better life. And have also admired the compassion that u show urself. Thats something that i strive for.
When u said ātrust the processā, that really hit me for some reason. I feel scared right now but am grateful that i havent slipped up. Just trusting that im exactly where i am supposed to be in this momentā¦ working on my recovery. Trusting the process is what im going to remind myself when i start thinking of using.
And ur rightā¦ busying myself too much with things does remove me from the present moment. And now that I think about it maybe thats what im trying to escape. I have a very hard time just being still, being in the moment, being with myself and my thoughts, just being basically. I think uv helped me realize something. I think thats what i need to work on moving forward. Im too busy in my head. I need to silence it a bit. Thank you my friend And thank u for the congratulations
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Day 18:
Definitely not the Friday i wanted, but itās finally winding down. Work was intense and long today, 13 hours long! Usually Fridays are awesome because my guys all work hard so they can get home to start their weekend. Not today! Anything and everything that could go wrong did. Took a lot of patience, but work is finally over!
I had plans to go to a small concert tonight, but after the long day and limited sleep decided it was best to pull the plug on that plan and just hunker down for the night.
The last three nights, when Iāve been home, i havenāt turned the tv on or listened to any music, Iāve just layed on the couch absorbing the silence. Itās been therapeutic in a way. As if my body is just releasing all of the chaos Iāve put it through the last year.
I just let my mind go, there are moments of racing thoughts, moments of happiness and sadness, thoughts of the future, of the past and moments where i just feel myself breathe. But Iām in the moment, i am loving feeling all of these feelings. Allowing my mind and body the time to reset, restart.
Iāve been hoping this would translate into 8 hours of blissful sleep at night, but my mind isnāt ready to go there yet, in due time.
But for now Iām enjoying finding myself again, reprioritizing and remembering who i am and the life i want and deserve to have.
Enjoying the calm and silence sobriety is offering right now.
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I love this! Hope u get a well deserved rest tonight
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