Happy Birthday!!
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652 days AF
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Checking in on day 131 AF.
Today has been a much better day. Once I had got the kids out to school I lay on my acupressure mat for ten minutes and then went for my shower. I went for a lovely walk with a friend I’ve known since we were about 8 years old. On the way home I noticed that I was actually hungry for the first time in about six weeks so I made some sourdough toast before heading out to my lunchtime yoga class. The rest of the day has been spent sketching on my iPad and doing the crossword.
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Latenight checkin.
Back home sober.
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@JazzyS as always your words are a balm and I appreciate them very much. Yes. I understand how important is connection. It’s fundamental
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Thanks, mate 
Those are my sunrises though. Never tire of walking up sober to enjoy those starts to my day
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Checking in here on Friday after work. Just had a nice workout.
Got dozens of things on the to do list for the weekend. Need a break before I dig into it.
Old me up til a few months ago would be deep into the fridge beverages quickly. Not today! 
All the best from me to you, fine folks.
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Your sunrise is my sunset. Kind of poetic.
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You’ll always be my sunrise, Dan
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Some days are normal and some days I just still can’t believe what it’s like to be sober.
No days hold fear I can’t deal with.
Keep going I promise you the pain is all worth it.
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Checking in at das 910 days sober from alcohol, 76 days no cigarettes. It’s been a while friends, I’ve been doing good and didn’t even think about alcohol for over two years - I’ven been happy and thriving. In the beginning feeling my emotions was the hardest and most painful part of my sobeiety - I did a lot of work on that and I like to think I got better at it.
Little did I know it would take falling in love to make me needing support once again … I got so overwhelmed with my feelings today that I ran away from a very confused guy because I couldn’t handle it. I didn’t drink, but I thought about it and was angry that I wasn’t able to. I felt extreme anxiety, guilt and shame about having thought about it. The last time I felt this way was when I was still using… so I came here to admit that I still need to work on myself and that I’m still not able to be fully vulnerable with another person. Shit, wanting to be vulnerable almost made me drink. Lots of soulsearching to do. Hope you’re well 
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Oh friend! It is good to see you and I am grateful you came here when you needed extra support. I’m sorry that your return is because you’re having a rough go. The emotions stuff is deep seated and there’s nothing like love feelings to break it all open. I’m here any time you want to chat, my PM is always open but I’ll try to look for you here, too. 
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I appreciate your thoughts so much.
I dont know all the ins and outs of it, but the big book and the 12 steps are quite Jungian in terms of analytic psychology. In my reading of certain aspects, its as though the 12 steps built on and are superimposed over his approach to the conscious/unconscious mind. I do of course see other approaches abd inspiration, but I am keen on Jung and I see the thread through the 12 steps (my foundation in my younger days), self-authoring (an approach I happened on when beinf taught by a prof who created this approach which is also inspired by Jung) and Integrated Family Systems. Talk therapy, idea that subconscious and conscious are connected and divinf deep into things. I feel the internet could probably explain the xonnection better then I can, I imagine there is some information out there somewhere 
But Bill Wilson I know read Jung and Jung was part of his inspiration. I dont know how the spiritual bit ties into it, but I tjink Jung had something to do with this as well. Wish you good days my friend
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I am not suee if this helps, but it makes sense. Yes dive deep, search the soul. Vulnerability and these changes have the abiloty to rock us even when we thought, hey wait a sec I was on solid ground! Life is changinf so we must keep growing. Things we thought we examined and healed, never truly go away…they come up again later, when we go through new changes becahse they need to be processed in a different way. This is (EDIT: NOT!!!) a failure of us not having let something go or not having dealt with it like we thought, it means we’re just in a new place; with new eyes and ready for more growth. Grab on, dive in and do it with those you trust and can lean on. Wishing you the best. Xo.
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Checking in today at day 199!!!
Beyond proud of myself and you all for continuing to push ahead and fight those demons and to keep rising above!!!
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Nice to see you T. 
Great job coming here and sharing it. I just heard at a meeting, just to tonight. When we share a problem with someone, we then have half the problem.
Good for you.
Love those numbers your keeping.
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@chuckie22 2 weeks is so damn awesome my friend! Great job on drinking water with lemon and still enjoying the company of your friend 
So very happy for you Charles – grateful to have you with us on our sober journey!
@calgary5577 I’m so sorry love. What ugly feelings to be sitting with. You are an amazing person - a mom working on her demons and trust me its not an easy road. You are on day 2 and working on connecting with your HP to help you keep on this path. The fact that you are here and trying to overcome this addiction shows that you are a good person. We have your back here my friend. You are not alone. 
Grateful for your great neighbors and lovely support.
@noshame doing amazingly well my friend! Just keep living your healthy lifestyle! The body is amazing and as long as you keep treating it well then you will start healing from past indulgences.
@mira_d I’m sorry for the difficult time of year love – much comfort and love your way. I do hope the new lawyer works hard for your needs. Hoping this is all sorted out soon 
Just saw your update and wtf – so sorry that this lawyer was such a putz. What an utter asshole he was and so grateful that you will be kicking his sorry ass to the curb. You are not confused and should not be made to feel like you are dumb especially by an ass hat that you are paying. Yeah to kicking his ass out of your mind space and out of your life. Much love to you dear friend
@mischa84 oh sweetheart I am so sorry you are dealing with isolation and loneliness. Girl you are always on the go and taking care of 3 young boys (mainly by yourself) can cause anyone to snap. You are a wonderful mom! I do hope you got some time to chill and were able to get a good nights rest. Big Hugs right back at you
@teresa.13 Happy Birthday! 
Glad that you are celebrating another birthday sober style. Hope you had a wonderful day celebrating you today.
@tragicfarinelli Wow – did a lot today (love that energy). “cream crackered” huh – new term for me and I may need to use it. Sorry about the loud drunken neighbors – hope you enjoy pizza and movie and are able to get a good nights sleep 
@catmancam Hoping all goes well with your shots tomorrow. Glad you are using the SAD lamp and it is helping. Aaah friend so happy to know you went for a walk in the rain and that it filled you with such lovely lasting feelings 
I am doing well, thanks for asking – just been super busy these days working through the fatigue and getting my house ready for rent. Hopefully everything that I can do will be completed by this weekend and I can get it on the market finally on Monday.
@jennyh Good luck to you with getting both shots tomorrow. My goodness – those are some cool looking shelter bubbles (not sure what you call them). Grateful to have those on rainy football days.
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@bomdhil You are too sweet Thomas – Day 4 – see you being awesome!!! I totally understand the need to want to escape your emotions. I do find journaling helps me get my feelings / emotions on paper and thereby makes it easier to work through them. I know you like drawing – you could try it with colors 
@penguin welcome back T and a hell of a job on your sober timers. I am so sorry for the overwhelming feelings you experienced today. Grateful that you were able to reach out for support when you knew that you were vulnerable. Should be super proud of yourself for not giving into the urges – knowing that drinking would not solve anything. We are here for you!
Checking in on Thursday evening
Been a busy day - got a lot of weeding done (i love working in the yard but my body just can’t do this these days) - grateful that it was a chilly day so at least i didn’t have to battle the heat. Painted the ceiling in a few rooms and tidied up the yard. Watched a really messed up movie that i thought was horror but shit they really put anything in the horror section these days. Now just scrolling here and about to go to bed sober! I am grateful that i do not give in to my urges – these days being back at my house and doing outdoor work – it really puts me back into my old mindframe and it does take a lot of talking myself down. I am stronger than this addiction and have not lost my sober days! Will continue to shine on for another day. Sending you all so much love
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Day 118 alcohol free
I’m so grateful this week is over. I had a horrible run in with a Director from another dept. she rude and straight up toxic. Her energy is so heavy, and dark. I had to sage myself and my office after the meeting. Her behavior was such that it triggered an anxiety attack. No one on my team wants to deal with her.
My boss was out of the office but I do plan on discussing it with her on Monday. I’m contemplating going to HR.
The temptation to drink was the strongest it’s been in awhile. I did not drink and distracted myself with TV and then ate my emotions. I feel sick now. I suppose indigestion is much better than drunk and hungover tomorrow.
Now I just need to deal with the guilt of sabotaging my diet.
So grateful for the support and compassion if this community. While their are other people that I can talk to I feel safe here to discuss the cravings of alcohol without judgment. I don’t think most in my life believe I had an issue with alcohol. Strange considering I’ve fallen twice and broken bones both times. I think people assume because I have a successful career and no legal issues it’s not a problem.
Sleep well all!
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