@Mira_D it’s always a pleasure to read you posts 🩵
I realise that lately to have a bit of “my time” means that I can go, pardon my french, shit without constant talking to me, knocking at the wc door or listening of fighting (or at worse - no sounds at all, if you have 3 little boys and it’s quiet suddenly - for 100% something bad happened ). Or that I can fold the laundry without being asked why there is no sun at night, why Hulk is green or how I knew his name is Sacha (my son)… Someone could say - but you are on your phone now. That’s right. But the same time Im checking if they are eating their lunch. If I leave the room, god knows what’s gonna happen. All food could end in belly of one of them cause he has the biggest appetite, in cats belly or even behind sofa. I know your tricks you little maggots Im trying not to complain (I’m trying).
Some time ago I had bronchitis, I was feeling very bad more than a week and my h was just like ‘why are you still sick, you should feel better already’… Well, maybe cause I don’t have opportunity to recover, all the household and kidsrelated shit must be done and nobody gonna make it for me. When he is sick, he just stay in bed for some time and voilà, getting stronger.
Ehhhh sorry for this, it just feel good to get all this frustrations out from time to time.
@cp25 welcome back Cynthia. How did you day 1 go? Stay strong – I know the beginning is by far the hardest. We are here for you. @tragicfarinelli DOUBLE DIGITS!!! Congrats on your 1 month of nicotine free time. I do agree that when I’m keeping busy and especially when I’m doing things to release my endorphins that my urges are almost non existent. I do hope you enjoyed your home alone time. @sadmemequeen I do hope that the cleaning with your friend today goes well and that you are able to give your body some time to rest. Listening to our bodies is hard. I try to write down the changes needed and list ways of achieving them. I know at least one of the ways will be doable. It still takes me time to implement the changes fully but I know it can be done. For example, making sure to eat during the day and not just one meal at night – This took me many months to achieve. 580 days! @nickle5cents HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Hope you have a wonderful day celebrating you whatever you decide to do. @catmancam Oh – you time with your friend sounds lovely. Glad that you were able to get out and catch up. So sorry about the migraine and seasonal depression. I do hope both subside today so you can enjoy your 2 courses. @mylife21 Welcome to the community and a happy belated birthday. So lovely to have you with us here. This is a very supportive community to be a part of and I find this thread in particular to be super helpful to keep us accountable and keep us in touch with others experiencing similar struggles. @scorpn So good to hear that you had a day off (sounds like a busy non stop moving kind of a day but I’m sure you would’ve had to fit all this in with work if you didn’t have time off). Glad you had a good day Renee! @jennyh look at you on day 20! That is awesome. I’m sorry to hear about your daughters finger. The main thing would be to check pain level to know for sure (without getting the xray) if it is broken but this does not help if the threshold is so low. Sorry that you are starting your day like this – I do hope that its just a sprain and not broken. Just saw your update – grateful that it was not broken. @maestro way to prove that you are able to have a good time without the drink. I know this stigma has been implanted into us hard. So great to know that we can be our amazing selves without the drink. 339 days amazing!
@annae awesome work on 136 days! It is a liberating feeling to go out and enjoy a good time without getting drunk and especially not having to deal with the morning after regrets. I do not miss those at all. I know for me some friends and I drifted apart as drinking was the only thing that connected us. I am coming to realize that the sober community is much larger than I had imagined. So many people around me living a sober fun and exciting life. Glad you are living your life with what works best for you. @Mindofsobermike How are you doing Mike - hope this week has been a breeze for you at school. @mischa84 Girl – never be sorry for letting it out – this is the space for it and we are here to lend our shoulders. You crack me up with the imagery and “I know your tricks you little maggots” I almost spit out my coffee I do hope you are able to get some “me” time. I really don’t know how you do it all with 3 young boys and still smile so bright.
Awe – I feel this deeply and I know it hits hard but you are doing what you need to be doing at this very moment. Taking on more and burning yourself out in the process will not be beneficial to anyone. I know many times I test my limits cause I have a notion of what I “should” be doing and where I “need” to be at but then I end up undoing so much of the healing that got me to this point. I’m sure the opportunities will come around again. For now just focus on you and your healing time. @Tragicfarinelli Thanks for checking love - it’s a lovely day - just super tired. This will also pass (with the help of a nap :wink )
Wednesday morning check in
I had a very busy day yesterday and did feel super drained last night. I was fortunate enough to shut off everything (phone, computer) and leave the messy kitchen and just relax – watched two movies and then crashed hard. I did wake up still feeling so tired. I have to head into work to help out for a few hours but then i think it will be nap time. Today is the last hot ish day for us and then it drops - like 25 degress. Why can’t we just have a nice in between for a while?
Oh well - i am off to enjoy the day – hope you all have a wonderful addiction free day! Sending you all so much love
Have been very efficient today, washing on and hoovering done all whilst doing my day job from home. Slept like a log, after attending a couple of meetings, I especially like the ACA meetings but they are on so late in the rooms. I need to join the Sunday afternoon one instead. But as this is going to be my ‘home alone’ every week Tuesday to Thursday then I figure why not be naughty and just stay up
Going to do a few more chores this evening so that the place is nice and clean. We plan to go to the seaside Friday to Sunday this weekend for long walks and some R&R. We have a couple of lovely meals booked up already at some cool little eateries. I’m really looking forward to it as it’s a new thing again to go sober away.
When I was a year Sober I was totally used to it and it was no bother, but since May I’ve overindulged while away. But I’ve already planned it all and asserted my mantras and beliefs:
My enjoyment of the days away with be exponentially better spent sober, as: early rises, feeling fresh, safely go sea swimming with my wetsuit on (cold already lol), the energy and enthusiasm to walk out and catch sunsets, no wasted seconds, no regrets.
Thank you for the support. My day was horrible. I’ve been sick since Monday night. At first I thought it was a hangover. It’s definitely more than a hangover. Oli can’t smell or taste and every part of my body aches.
I’m ashamed to say I did relapse last night but I made a plan to try my best to get through the social awkwardness.
I’m going to keep trying. Instead of beating myself up and giving up, I’m going to start again and try my best. I hate writing that I relapsed but I realize it’s part of the process.
My bf is probably not the best choice for me and I need to start working on my actual issues. Made an appointment with a new therapist on Thursday night.
Thanks Jasmine!
The HelloFresh box is definitely not going to come this week so I’ve planned something different for dinner tonight. I’ll get one last order from them next week to use up that credit and then probably give them a miss after that as it has been super frustrating.
Day 93
I saw my doctor last week to check my bloodwork and ask to be put on something to help with my mood. Everything came back normal and he put me on low dose antidepressants. I’m having problems finding things to do to get me out of my house. I have friends but they all live at least an hour away and have kids. Weekends are hard when I’m off I do feel lonely and isolated sometimes.
I go to meetings 2-3 times a week and have a therapy appointment once a week. I do feel like I’m doing better to some degree. I honestly don’t have an urge to drink. My biggest problem is still dealing with getting over my ex. I’m slowly starting to see that my drinking was an excuse for him to leave and that there may have been things he didn’t talk to me about. I of course still have the hope of it’s meant to be it’ll come back. But I also hope I’m in a better place by then and can see the relationship differently.
). Or that I can fold the laundry without being asked why there is no sun at night, why Hulk is green or how I knew his name is Sacha (my son)… Someone could say - but you are on your phone now. That’s right. But the same time Im checking if they are eating their lunch. If I leave the room, god knows what’s gonna happen. All food could end in belly of one of them cause he has the biggest appetite, in cats belly or even behind sofa. I know your tricks you little maggots 
Im trying not to complain (I’m trying).
power to the mums and dads out their with their devious little fiends !
I do hope you are able to get some “me” time. I really don’t know how you do it all with 3 young boys and still smile so bright.
