Day 54*
Happy I decided to take the day off. I really needed it. Playing some N64, going for a bike ride, making a lamb curry, trying out some new bath products, meetup with sober group. Treat myself kind of day.
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Day 0.49 no form of marijuana
Day 147 no alcohol
Day 78 no vapes or ciggs
Just checking in
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Day 368
Work done, now me-time.
Thankfully the boss was in a very good mood today, she even praised us. Iām concerned if she maybe got replaced by an Alien after her vacation 
When Iām home Iāll bake a banana bread or the fruit flies multiply again. I should demand rent from their leader.
As you see Iām in a good mood 
But not everything is all shiny at the moment.
Yesterday evening I noticed that I wanted to take a medicine that I usually only take when I get a migraine (helps me with the sickness and with sleep).
I know us addicts sometimes move from one drug to another, and Iām concerned that the same happens with this medication.
There isnāt anything else I could take because my blood pressure rises too high with special migraine meds. So I have to combine that with strong painkillers and it works well.
I did set up a timer for that, only for me to remind me to only take it when Iām sick. Not when Iām not able to sleep or feel stressed.
I have to find other ways to help myself with those problems.
I hope you had / have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
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Iām sorry for your loss. 
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Thatās awesome!!!
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Yes!! I totally agree!
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Thanks I appreciate you for that
You should know how much this helps me
It helps keep me accountable and on track
Thank you
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Bah hahaha thank God itās not only meā¦I just canāt have fruit or basil out, the flies start creating a mega army. Sorry but so funny.
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Sorry to hear that, take care of you x
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Weed - day 53
Alcohol - day 12
Cigarettes - day 11
Things are changing for the better. Slowly. Gradually. Almost imperceptibly.
I have been walking a LOT. As an addict - I have substituted dopamine with endorphins. It works better than any shrink Iāve ever known.
I listen to audiobooks while I walk. Multitasking in a way. I walked 132 kms (82 miles) last week. It helps a lot. And I am enjoying the audiobooks. But I think I need to change my routine. Need to cut down on the walking and do more cycling. My walking is making my joints hurt a wee bit too much. I got my bicycle fixed. From tomorrow I will try to cycle in the morning and walk in the evening.
Work has improved too. I may be getting into a new sector soon. Balance will be a problem though.
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Day 1
I actually crossed three things off my list today that have been the reasons I justified using. I filed my taxes, contacted the care facility where a relative is (been putting this off for two years), and contacted two family members who Iāve wanted to for years.
I really isolated myself and built walls up around myself. Iām trying to stop doing that.
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Yes they do 
As soon as there is ANY fruit in the kitchen there are also flies. Awful
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Just wanted to say heyy
Your a lot of help here and I love reading your posts
Take care
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thank you! i do appreciate you saying so and glad to be a part of this journey with you.
I see you are back at kicking ass with your numbers! Keep it up my friend. I do hope you have a wonderful day.
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Amazing work on finding out reasons why you would pick up
I need to do the same
Also congratulations on day 1 
I think the 1st day is the most important
It all starts with day 1
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I appreciate you very much
Thank you for being here along my side with everything especially during these times
I can get into it more but Iām not ready
And everything is ok here I promise I will be fine but time is ticking and itās testing me
Work is great
Wifey is doing amazing
Life is good
Itās just a time situation
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@mander0712 wow 93 days is impressive! I do hope that the antidepressants help. I know that idle time and alone time can be a little lonely. Are you able to pick up hobbies to keep yourself busy and I find that when I see a finished product of something I worked on that this gives me so much joy. Seems like you are doing great on your sober journey and utilizing all the tools. I do hope that your heart heals from your past relationship soon. 
@trustybird OH sweetheart I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. I know itās been some time since you two talked but Iām sure the news is nevertheless gut wrenching. We are here for you if you need to talk. Sending you much love and comfort. Addiction truly is a nasty beast. Grateful that we are working on ourselves and shedding its clutches. People_hugging:
@rob11 Have you looked into a different sponsor? One who will be better equipped to deal with the steps and trauma? I do hope that you do find some comfort in completing step 4
@ceeds WOW ā I love it! Taking the day off for self care 
What a fabulous idea ā I do hope you have the most wonderful day taking care of you today!
@sabrina80 I do love your sense of humor ā thank you for that! I know the fear of not replacing one addiction with another and definitely relate to dealing with migraines. They are such a pain in the ass. I do hope that you are not having to take these meds too often :fingers_crossed:
@soberbilly 
I absolutely love this ā words not needed and words canāt express how much I love it! Thank you SB.
We will not rush you to open up but do know we are here whenever you need to talk. Grateful that you work and marriage are amazing! Its ok to have bad days and not feel 100% even when everything around you is perfect. I find that doing daily gratitudeās has really helped change my mood and way of thinking ā still, I do have many days that it is super difficult to come up with any gratitude. I just want to scream and cry and am far from thankful ā this is when I remember the basics of breathing, having a safe place to live, food and waterā¦etc. Just throwing this out there in case gratitude practice may help you until you feel ready to share your burden.
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Second check in today.
My psychiatric nurse called today and has offered me access to a support worker in the coming weeks. Just someone I can go for a walk or a coffee with and have a chat. She also put me in touch with an alcohol service on the south side of the city that looks interesting. They have individual support workers and also peer support groups. I may call them tomorrow to see what other services they provide.
Iāve also signed up for the morning yoga session tomorrow as Iām finding thatās a good start to my day.
As ever itās one day at a time.
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Thatās quite good really! Good luck with it all, I hope you get the support you need!
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Evening check in, just short of 20 days. A couple of hours away but will easily make it today. Funny how some days are a lot easier than expected.
I have had a bad headache but managed to stick at work so pleased with that. I am really struggling recently with feeling ill a lot. Think the peri-menopause is not going to be kind. I drove home from work in my lunch break so that meant I could go straight from the desk to my bed at 5 which really helped.
I have eaten my way through the headache so feeling a bit gross, but not craving wine so that is a win. Just about to have a bath and then read until a reasonable hour to call it a day. In the past I would have thought that a waste of an evening, what disordered thinking!
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