@danam56 glad to see you back with us here and posting. Missed seeing your check in’s. I’m sorry – I do know how hard it is to distance yourself from someone that is so toxic. I am sorry that he was able to cause any damage and please do not feel foolish or shame and above all do not feel worthless. You are a queen in your own right and have been doing so well in your journey. Do not let this ASS take any of that power away. I am grateful you blocked him (if you are on social media – block him on that too). On to new beginnings and new experiences. Hope you are able to enjoy the weekend with your friend. 
@juli1 WOW – Just WOW – 50 days’ and rocking the sober lifestyle. So amazing Jules – so very happy for how far you’ve come on your journey (physically and emotionally). Much love to you 
@mindofsobermike Great job on reaching out to your counselor and med therapist. One step at a time and I know you have some great tools to utilize. I think is smart to let your mom handle the finances for school right now. Sending you strength in having the conversation with your mom- know she loves you and wants the best for you. I do hope you have a wonderful visit with your girls this weekend. Much love to you my friend. 
@wunderbar This is so amazing Chad! Way to get your 2000 days of continuous sobriety. That is a hell of a job! What an amazing inspiration. Keep going strong 
@zzz be safe on the roads—I know the first snow is the worst as many drivers have forgotten how to drive. Hope you are feeling better.
@mno so grateful that she did finally respond (I did find that to be very unprofessional). Go with your gut. It’s your journey and like you said – you are clear minded now. You can feel out what is and what isn’t working for you. Wishing you luck with the 1 on 1 session.
@marlowe 3 weeks is awesome work Rob! Sounds like a lovely day planned – enjoy your weekend!
@mira_d Oh my friend – I wish I could reach out and give you a big hug I think you are doing great in navigating through all the shit. I hate that the system is so broken. I am glad that you are out with your bestie enjoying a weekend – you deserve it. Something to make you laugh maybe – I’ve only done fake nails once when I was a teen – I was a tomboy and thought it would be fun to try – well they went flying when I was wrestling (like it really wasn’t pretty and at first he they thought that they actually tore my nail) and the boys made such a running joke about it that I never attempted them again.
@Butterflymoonwoman I don’t really like using the term normal as i am not sure that a black and white answer exists to explain what normal is. What is normal for me may not be what is normal for someone else. I am sorry for the flashbacks and rough sleep. My therapist had explained to me that if i can look back on a past memory (put myself back into that setting and time) and not feel emotionally controlled by it then i have moved on from that event. It doesn’t matter if i was working on moving on from that event or forgiving the parties involved - somehow at sometime my body and mind just let go of that particular hurt. This could be what is happening to you? You did see that therapist for that one time - were you planning to revisit or go see someone else? Happy Saturday beautiful - i do hope you get to take it easy tonight
Checking in on Saturday morning…
It has been a lovely start to the day. everything is manageable and i am going into work today (after a long time) and hopefully everything goes well. My brother just informed me that i will be doing the shift by myself. I do hope its not too busy as i don’t think my pain level will remain manageable if i have a shit ton of running around. We shall see. I am highly caffeinated so at least the fatigue will not be a issue 
Hoping everyone a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love
girls came we went had Chinese and went to a couple stores. It’s crappy so there wasn’t much else to do, we came back and sat in the parking lot to my place for a little bit. I was just in the middle and each side I’m getting daddy this and daddy that, and I just miss it so much. As I was leaving all I could think about is how much of a piece of shit I am and how much I keep fucking up and how beautiful my girls are and they just deserve the world and I’m not doing it. It’s so fucked up and I fucking hate myself.
