Holy shit im nearly 1.5yrs sober and i had my first cup of AA coffee tonight. That shit was thick and strong lol i’ll either be up for a few hours or crash here shortly 
great time to catch up on TS threads
20 Likes
Well checked my midterms I am still doing ok. But English won’t be for long, was supposed to have my outline in last Tuesday and my essay is due this Tuesday and I’ve done nothing on it.
12 Likes
Nicely done Mike – you still have time to get Tuesday’s essay in. You could talk to your teacher to see if you can make up the missed assignment somehow?
2 Likes
ah fuck love - this is utterly exhausting and frustrating - i am so very sorry that your addiction is clinging on and giving you so much grief.
I do know how hard it is to get through that wall at times and totally get what you are saying. For me - i use a prayer recording that i listen to while sleeping. It really helps me wake up with a lighter sensation and an openness to connect with my HP. Not sure - would YouTube have any recordings of bible verses or hymns that you could listen to? If not while you sleep then at least throughout the day. Our subconscious mind is really funny that way - I feel like if i feed it spiritual energy (even when i am asleep) then it leaves less room for the negative energy / urges to seep in.
sending you comfort and love my friend. I do hope you are able to shed these cravings soon.
4 Likes
Awe my beautiful friend 
thank u for ur kind words. I am going to take ur advice and see what i can maybe find on youtube. U actually reminded me that tmrw there is a live online sermon going on that i really enjoy attending on sundays. I will be tuning in if i am able to at work. Should be quiet enough to do that. U reminded me that there are other ways to connect spiritually, that prayer isnt the only way. And i appreciate that so much! My focus this week will be to do something spiritual every day to connect to my HP. Thank u sooo much for ur help friend 
4 Likes
Much love to you Dana …so thrilled about the sermon tomorrow and grateful that my suggestions were helpful. Beauty of this community is that we are all going through similar battles and are able to help each other out.
Sweet dreams 
3 Likes
Mischa i am sending you so muvh love and strength. Hang in there my lady. You aree one special person, and I know you are dealing with so much. I promise all days wont feel this way, and we know drinking might seem like at least a release but it wont help. I wish i had more to offer you byt please know im here. We’re all here. Love you & wishing you some peace - even if for a moment. Xo
5 Likes
On my day 3 of trying to quit weed. The cravings have been on and off. Trying to keep myself busy which I find has been helping. I want to try push even more. I’ve gone 3 days clean before and a week and a month. I want to see how far I can go to keep clean 
17 Likes
Day 126 with alcohol
This weekend started off so shitty but this am was a new day. A friend came to town from CA who is truly the kindest man I’ve ever known. My friend Kevin is so hood to me just what I needed to remind me that not every man I know is a complete Ass. It was a great day. Went to the movies, saw Oppenheimer. Fantastic movie. Then a delicious dinner. I’m so grateful to have him as a friend.
Thank you @JazzyS for your support and kind words. It means a lot. . I was truly spiraling. Feeling much better.
Headed to bed. Sleep well everyone
19 Likes
248
This week has just been great! It feels like my life is balanced. This feeling won’t last forever though, so I’m trying to enjoy it while I can.
I slept like shit last night. Went to bed just before 2, tossed and turned until 5, then woke up at 8:40. Luckily, today at work was officially voted ‘most boring day of the year’ by all 13 staff members.
Got out by 9 and stopped by my friends to meet her new puppy. A 12 week old Boston terrier named Tito. He’s super cute. Now I’m rewatching Haunting of Hill House before bed. Getting pretty tired already. Sunday lunch shift tomorrow 
Can’t be worse than tonight I hope.
Goodnight
22 Likes
4 Likes
Sorry to hear Dana, sounds like the addict demon is trying all the tricks out on you. Keep shining the torch on it. You can do this. 
4 Likes
Late ACOA and AA meeting last night, was actually very helpful on a Saturday evening.
Toddler and new baby visit today with my bestie. The Drive through London early morning is a joy, will enjoy crossing the Thames and seeing how beautiful the city is. Coffee. Swim. Football. Fridge full of food for once! Another 24.
20 Likes
Dana…i could be way off here but maybe you could be trying too hard to connect? Have you done any hobbies lately or some self care recently to allow your connection to come through naturally by doing things you enjoy? Your HP is always there but i think sometimes with life stresses we can get into a ‘cant see the wood for the trees’ scenario where we trying too hard to be ok instead of allowing ourselves time to just be and take in what actually is? Hope that makes sense. Love to you
8 Likes
I am really sorry, this must be so hard on you all I hope you get to spend some time with him soon xx
3 Likes
Morning all, checking in day 38.
Woken up to a beautiful morning here so under the covers with the window wide open. First coffee of the day.
I am dragging the family out for a walk and picnic today, nice to spend some time together. My son always says he enjoys them once we are out. Then football training later, a nap and then the gym.
I am finally feeling well, with the exception of the headache that seems a permanent fixture!
Have a good day all.
19 Likes
Day 34:
For some reason I kept thinking today was Sunday and then I’d remember it was only Saturday, great feeling knowing I still have one more day in the weekend!
Good day today, didn’t sleep well, so I got up early and got some stuff done around the house. Picked up my daughter this afternoon and we went to a birthday party for my nephew at my brothers house. Him and his wife drink and my sister and her husband drink so there was alcohol present. Only thing that affected me though was the smell. I couldn’t believe how strong the smell was, you never notice that when you’re joining in. Happy to say the temptation to join in just isn’t there, never even crossed my mind.
We had a good time, ate some bad pizza, opened presents and I was on my way home. My son is out of town and my daughter went with her mom after the party so I just had a nice night at home. Watched the University of Utah vs USC football game, so awesome watching Utah beat USC for the 4th time in a row! Great game as well. Got caught up on some reading to end the night, feeling calm and at peace with my life right now.
Grateful for each new day of sobriety, taking nothing for granted, happily sober.
Good night!
18 Likes
Day 120
Or day one. Taking each day as it comes, each is an opportunity to do something good or screw up
Today going for a beach walk
19 Likes
1597
Tried out my new hiking shoes with a bike and hike (and bike) through the mud and rain yesterday. They came through with flying colours. Big plus of doing outdoor stuff in bad weather is that it’s quiet. And for the weather there’s gear. Which I can afford since I don’t drink and smoke and do drugs no more. Never again.
Back to work tomorrow. Relax today. Sober and clean. Have as good a day as you can all. Love from the polder.
29 Likes