Checking in from Mexico on day 239 sober.
Fly back home Friday.
Looking forward to being home for a couple weeks.
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Looking forward for Day 30!!! This time itās for me, last few times it for everyone else in my life.
I want to be the person I remember before everything got cloudy and it was just trying to get through the days!
So excited to start this new chapter of life,
Not gonna get to excited cause I have failed in the past but if I get to 3 months it for sure a new tattoo!
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@Rob11 Step 4 and 5 are great. I felt much better after my original one, and am doing a āone yearā top up right now, and feeling better again. Looking at your resentments / defects and seeing patterns and what you can do about it makes you feel productive and like you are actually moving forward.
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hello darlings 
checking in 24 days alcohol free, hiked to a waterfall today with my baby and my brother (not blood brother but he might as well be), so nice to enjoy these very last warm days of the year 
sober!
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Today I am 595 days free from alcohol and I just reached out to my old therapist. It is time to crack open my brain and stir. My deeper issues are not miraculously going away so it is time to bring them into the light.
The person that I posted about dying earlier was my first real boyfriend and my first sexual partner. He was sweet and funny and troubled and artistic. Now heās dead, because he succumbed to his alcohol addiction.
Fuck. That.
Today Iām angry. Iām angry that Iāve hidden myself behind addiction for so long and Iām angry that I always have chosen addicts to love.
Forward.
That is the direction I am choosing.
R.I.P. Lucian I hope you are surfing a peaceful California wave right now.
Fuck alcohol.
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Thank you so much!!
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Ugh! I feel like crap!!! 
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Very heartbreaking. My prayers are with you.
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I walked past the weed shop and even declined stopping to partake with my friend who works there. Iām thinking Iāll get off the bus at a different spot to avoid it altogether.
Overall, today was a really good day. I took some risks and it wasnāt horrible. I really really want to never use any substance ever again. It feels like the right time.
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Well hello fellow Conqueror! A Conqueror thread would be awesome! I started doing them this year. I am doing the 2023 challenge now and hopefully starting that New York one soon. Have completed 3 so far. What other ones have u done?
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675 days wow. Any and all words spoken by you are worth reading.
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@deelzebub I so love your psychiatrist. Love this support system and very happy for you! Yeah to yoga too ā lovely start to your Thursday 
I do love your sense of humor!! I do hope you have other productive ways to spend your evenings 
this is awesome love ā so excited for you! I do hope you get an awesome medal for your achievement!
@mylife2 you are most welcome my friend. So happy to hear that you and hubby have substitute non alcoholic drinks during your urging moments (great way to re-train your brain). Day 3 almost completed ā kicking addictions ass over here!
@hbt Well done on your 2 weeks! 30 days is right around the corner! You are doing fantastic and will be able to beat this addiction facing it head on ODAAT!
@selflove_42 How did it go with your job decision?
@trustybird I am so sorry Emilie. What an emotional day it has been for you. I am grateful for your forward direction! We got your back on this journey. Smart to reach out to your therapist. Wishing you well on unpacking all these feelings and emotions 
@calgary5577 well done on not partaking and what a revelation to change up your route. I too had to drive an extra 10 minutes to make sure I avoided all liquor stores on my way home. We can get stronger and these locations wonāt always have such a hold over us.
@Billy85 how are you doing Billy - been a minute since weāve heard from you.
Checking in on Wednesday eveningā¦
287 days free of alcohol and weed
702 days free of cigarettes
Been another super productive day. I was fortunate enough to get a nap in this afternoon. I am still super exhausted so i will be calling it a night shortly. Did have a few sharp urges today - seems that when i start working hard and am super tired my mind goes to drinking (like that will give me the energy to keep going). I baked some sugar free cookies instead 
Next few days are going to be super busy and i will make sure to stay vigilant and aware of my cravings and make sure to knock em out as they come.
I do hope everyone had a wonderful addiction free day / night! Sending everyone so much love 
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Day
1 no marijuana
148 no alcohol
79 no vapes or cigs
12:43 in the morning at the moment
Today is my wifeās birthday
I got her some boots that I already gave her 
I think staying sober and getting some shopping done will be worth it. Maybe buy some sweets for her and kinda just do what sheād like to do
Coincidentally I had yesterday and today off of work so thatās pretty cool and Iām really enjoying my days off. I guess I got the rest I needed
Works going ok
I go in at 1 in the afternoon on my next workday so thatās even more good rest to sleep in. At the moment Iām pretty excited to go back and work my butt off to earn that money
The wife is good
We are looking for a new place to hopefully be in by the New Year or maybe like a couple weeks after. We need to find a place close to my work which is stressing us out a little. I want to move where she doesnāt want to because of the history behind the town so itās hard to figure out where else to go because I still donāt have transportation
I have my second defensive driving class on the 11th then I can get my permit but then I need to wait 6 months to get my license.
I made 2 big mistakes
The 1st was working while on SSI because I had to pay back what they gave me while I worked
The second was waiting so long to take the defensive driving class
Other then that Iām doing pretty well
Anyway
Thatās life
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231
Man was it hard to get moving today. Got up and made breakfast. Fell right back asleep on the couch, but I always have a 5 minute bus alarm on. Alarm goes off and I fell right back asleep, thanking God I made it snooze instead of turning it off so we were just in time. Was scheduled a bit later today so I layed back down for 40 minutes of deep, vivid dreaming, and then finally got in the shower. For such a beautiful day, work was slow. I felt so exhausted I even took a nap after my daughter got home (while she had her after school alone time). Then I was fine.
Went to the laundry mat and shopping. After dinner I got into a cleaning mood out of no where (not asking any questions) and it made me feel better. But now itās late and Iām still a little wired. And have to work the AM again tomorrow.
I met one of my new neighbors, a girl/woman (idk what I am 
), my age and her adorable American bully. Itās hard to read someone on first impressions. Her dog was well trained, which is a good sign. Hopefully no surprise issues arise.
Iād been hearing rustling out back the past couple nights. I noticed a tent was up in the corner of the public park right behind my fence. Itās not uncommon to see them around my city, set back in secluded areas. Little too close for comfort but no issues so far. The city mows once a week so it shouldnāt last long.
Anyhoo. I should probably wind down in hopes of waking easier. Thank you all for your shares. Itās comforting to read through here, feel what youāre going thru, and see such support all around Weāre doing the damn thing! ODAAT!
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Hey everyone. Hope youāre all well, Iāve continued to get some good grades my human service 108 teacher really commended me and said she liked my writing style, I scored a 95 percent on opinion of addiction. Iām really struggling to utilize my resources and tutors. I donāt talk to anyone at school, I have not made any friends, so I just feel a little over whelmed and Iām still upset at myself for missing school, itās like itās to good to be true, Iām proud I see Iām doing good, but for some reason I feel down. I donāt feel like Iām learning or retaining anything, so idk I need to stop fussing, many people would be very happy to be in my shoes right now. I guess itās hard to see how nice things are. It feels nice to get it out, I have a lot of work to do. And I miss my girls so much ughhh much love
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34
Checking in.
If someone needs a reminder:
You are all important
You are worth it
You matter!
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End of Day 16:
Good day today.
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Day 103. Going into work today rather than working from home . I can go into a physical offixe once a week now which is good
103 and today i am not drinking
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Checking in day 18.
Have a good one!
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