Day 125. Off today. Going to make some pasta dough and then maybe some ravioli. Feeling v sleepy.
All good. Will listen to some music and potter around
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Van Gogh museum was nice yesterday. The bike ride to the big organic grocery and growers was good too. I promise myself and you to call a friend today and invite them over for dinner. Itās a pity itās drizzling and looks to be drizzling for quite a while yet. Will do a short walk today and will be back to work tomorrow.
The world is overwhelming me, but together weāll make it through. Iām not alone and neither are you. We need connection. Canāt do it alone. Sober and clean and one day at a time. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Love from Amsterdam.
Pic is Rijksmuseum BTW.
I love that one Emilie. Iām in. Sober and clean. 
@Frank68 Happy birthday Frank 
@Timetochange Sounds yummy! Enjoy! 
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I think your right, we all need connectionā¦i know alot of my past drinking has been in the context of feeling really deep down isolated.
But pasta with pesto today:)
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Iāll stay sober and clean with you today Menno. Donāt let your brain beat you up. Sending hugs your way today and everyday. š«¶š¼
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I think Iām the only Brit who went to Amsterdam in their early 20s and didnāt smoke pot lol
Such a beautiful city, so unspoilt, Iād love to go back
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@Mno your post reminded me I really wanna see the Van Gogh museum and the Anne Frank house. Itās such a waste that Iāve been to Amsterdam 4 fucking times and got so high / drunk I can barely remember walking those beautiful streets. Next trip there Iāll be sober and actually in the mental space to take in your beautiful city and all the culture it has to offer. (Ok, and maybe the banana show too! Donāt judge, my curiosity will be the death of me 
)
Day 286.
Iāve got a mould problem. We sprayed the living crap out of it with vinegar and ordered some mould remover / preventative solution.
In my last apartment, I ignored black mould for months on end because I was too busy sniffing and drinking intoxicant poison to notice the poison on my walls. Now, Iām on the case and nipping this in the bud before it causes any health issues or permanent damage to the flat. Thatās where the benefits of sobriety lie. In the little things.
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Drinking and drugging are double edged swords, they happen both in the context of feeling isolated, and they in themselves isolate us ever further. Never again friend.
@DresdenLaPage & @Amy30 When you do come back here letās have a coffee or something. Or do a little tour. Love to meet my sober brothers and sisters for real.
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100%! Once Iāve got some time under my belt and some bills caught up with, Iām definitely planning to travel more again! I havenāt been away since I went to America in early 2020!
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Thats true. Sometimes when i was drinking i was really sociable but otjer times i would just withdraw further and it felt like i was going down a rabbit warren. Never again 
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Sounds like a plan! We havenāt made our travel plans for next year yet, but Amsterdam is on the list.
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I feel like an alien baby waiting to burst out of this stagnant sac and live. Honestly sometimes I struggle with myself and disappoint myself. Am I that depressed that things stop for a week or two weeks? Or, am I lazy? Iāve felt so damned crap, utter bullshit two weeks. A lot is on me and not flipping the language from the negative. Lots to work on.
But Iām going swimming tonight.
Iām going running tonight before my swim.
Iām leaving work an hour early and not telling anyone, fuck them.
Itās for my mental health and Iām fighting still. I must make some plans to not drop the ball repeatedly between being good. My bloods are all normal, so why donāt I feel normal?
Hereās to another 24. Go live.
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@Mindofsobermike
I just want to send you a big hug, im thinking of you, if and when your ready we are here to support you
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Youāre fighting the draw down into the spiral and that is so admirable - I too am fighting it tooth and nail. Itās normal to not feel normal, thatās what I keep telling myself lately! And to have the self awareness to see what is happening while itās happening is power, we need to first recognize that, because there was a time I was deep in it before I realized I was depressed beyond belief. Keep fighting and you will get through this. Things will get better. And if you start to feel like they wonāt? Maybe seek some extra help from a pro, thatās what theyāre there for. Sending you strength and some extra light. 
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Checking in 666day AF 
Last few days, or acutally more like once in a while for some months I dream that I live a sober life, like now, but I have a glass of wine every now and then and dont restart my days at day one. I just pretend its not a relapse because its only one glass, once a whileā¦
Wierd dreamsā¦
Wish you all a great weekend
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Day 42!
Feeling good 
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Hey all, checking in on day 1230. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Thanks Rosa, you are correct. 
Iām upping my depression meds again as I had 50% tapered offā¦I guess we have to choose our battles. I wonder if thatās why I feel better a little after 3 days doubling them, or if itās the antibiotics for tooth pain, or because my period is over (that was a shit show this month). Wow. Iāll just take the upturn of the the grimace and runā¦
Power to you lady 
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Here I am through day 12 and in day 13. Life is good!
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56 days AF
Checking in
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That being said, Iāve already said that Iām going to meet @HoofHearted in Nashville next year 
whose in?!
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