Can anyone please tell me; when is the best time to seek a sponsor?
Hi all, checking in. I realize itās been almost a week since I came on here. I havenāt gone more than a couple days off here since I first joined in 2019.
I am going through a challenging space professionally and financially. It is not impossible and we do have pathways to where we want to be, but it will take focus and persistence. In the meantime, the space I and my wife are in is mentally and emotionally heavy; itās exhausting.
Fortunately I have been able to check in with my recovery contacts from my SA group in my city. I have a list of people I call, and there are meetings. I just left one of the meetings. One of the speakers was talking about how it became easier for him when he started proactively talking with others (appropriate persons - people who were in a position to receive them safely and constructively - he mentioned these were his SA recovery contacts, especially his sponsor) about feelings and thoughts that he had kept secret in his addiction.
That really struck me. My addiction has been about hiding, hiding feelings from myself and my loved ones. It is so deeply woven into my history that I donāt even realize it. Itās reflexive, habitual, automatic.
I need to keep breaking the chains of these things Iāve been hiding. I need to open them up to the light. I need to open the doors and windows and let the fresh air flow. I need to clean and correct, and I need to share, to invite others in.
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thank you Mulan! I am grateful you got that boosted laughing 
and yeah to a great therapy session 
Oh yes, I do think extra Vitamin D will be super helpful.
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congrats on passing! What a awesome feeling 
410 days is also super awesome 
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Day 9 today and felt energized and productive! I do notice that my body is still metabolizing things differently and I think itās going to take me a while to find the right balance of food and nourishment to have me feeling my best. But so far, Iāve been loving the energy I have, even at this early stage in the game.
Thanks for sharing your journeys everyone! Itās motivating to hear how much better it gets if you stick with it 
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Day 138 AF
Iām exhausted today. My energy levels are not what they should be. I was able to workout this am.
Sleep well everyone
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Checking in before bed. Oh boy did I procrastinate and have no focus on anything tonight after work. But I kept the sober streak going, and didnāt waste time on my phone.
See you again here tomorrowā¦
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260
Well I didnāt get that good sleep I was hoping for. I fell right asleep but something woke me up after a short time and then my mind was wide awake, laying there for hours. Luckily it was a super boring day at work. I found small, easy things to keep me busy.
Something Iāve noticed myself doing more often is picking at my skin. Usually at times like now, where Iām sitting watching tv. It takes a minute to realize Iām even doing it. It happens when Iām not thinking. This isnāt new tho. I remember sitting in study hall in highschool, bored shit less, finding āscabsā on my scalp and picking at them the whole class. Itās come and gone over the years, even before highschool now that I think about it. Dermatillomania. Though Iāve never actually seen anyone about it, or my other self diagnosed conditions for that matter. Maybe itās time I do.
Anxiety is definitely my original #1 reason for drinking. Iāve always just kinda lived with it. As a child bc I didnāt know any better, and during sober-ish periods of time. I need a new doctor first, as mine retired last year. I should make a list of everything I should accomplish this slow season, instead of just going with the hibernation flow and then POOF! itās spring already! Idk.
Iām gonna light a candle and wind down for the night. Youāre all amazing Goodnight
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Day 45:
Pretty good day today. Not a lot of sleep, but ehhh, thatās the norm these days. Super busy at work this morning, but took off at 9:30 to pick up my mom and head to my daughterās second and third round of the state volleyball playoffs. Her team wasnāt expected to win, but they played their tails off. Ended up winning both games and made it to the quarterfinals that are this Saturday. Again, she was beaming with excitement. Couldnāt be more proud of her for all the hard work sheās put in to get to this point. Also awesome that I was out of work most the day.
Got home and had to spend a couple hours working to catch up for while I was at the games. Made some grilled chicken for dinner, did my day 2 of the November workout challenge and just crawled into bed.
Another day happily sober. Sweet dreams!
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Checking in.
This fucking pinched nerve in my neck is killing me. I canāt sleep cause it hurts like hell when I lie down. So Iām sitting downstairs all alone, drinking coffee 
Storm CiarĆ”n is trying to break my windows (but here in ZuidHolland is not that bad anyway, @Mno probably has it much worse) but it feels so weirdly calm. Everybody else sleeping, it so quiet. When Iām just sitting it doesnāt even hurt so bad. Fucking neck. Nothing else to report.
Hope you all will have a good day my sober friends!
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Between 04:34 and 05:02 on the third Sunday of any month where the moon is in apogee or perigee to the Earthās centre.
Or whenever you feel comfortable and ready to commit to the full process.
The sponser should also be willing to commit as half-arsing the steps leaves you with half an arse, and nobody wants half an arse.
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Day 132 didnāt sleep at all, so noisy here. I need to remember head phones or something . Ambulances, traffic, police mostly going by most hours. Working 8_12 but I think I will need to take Monday and Tues off in case
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Congratulations for the 1400 days @Dazercat 
Take good care for yourself @Timetochange . Iām sorry to hear about the heart condition of your dad. Hope the next surgery will help him forward.
Fingers crossed 
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Checking in on day 369.
Aaaaalllmost made it to the end of another week at my new job. When does it stop becoming my new job? Iām at the end of my 3rd week 
Hope you all have a fantastic Friday. Will try to check in again tonight.
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Hello all, checking in Day 50.
This is where it started to go wrong on previous attempts, thoughts of moderation creeping in. Not this time, I have acceped that complete abstinence is the only way for me. Quite liberating really.
Happy Friday everyone, hope everyone has a lovely day. It is the calm after the storm in England, lovely to have the windows open wide rather than the crack they have been.
I will be back this evening to celebrate my 50 in the best way, with people who really understand
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1609
The storm passed, but itās still windy and wet and dark outside. Itās the weather itās supposed to be this time of year, but it somewhat limits me in the possibilities of what I can do today. This is the first time Iām sorry I cancelled my gym membership earlier this year. I might look into something where I can do individual sessions or something, and not a continuous subscription that I donāt use for more than half of the year.
Maybe itās also a good idea just to recover and take it easy as yesterday was a busy free day for me which included over 3 hours of walking and biking trough the windswept and soaked town. Maybe today Iāll reflect on happenings within myself, what is happening here, and in the world at large. Hang around and catch up on some reading and tv is also a possibility 
Or maybe a bit of all. One thing which is sure is it wonāt include any drugging or drinking. Never again. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love form Amsterdam.
@JennyH Yay you! Seems to me you found the right attitude and mindset friend. Congrats on 50 days. On we go.
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? Thank you for your helpGreat thoughts Matt. So true.
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Have you been to a doctor or chiropractor about the pinched nerve?
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