Day five of no alc or weed is kicking my butt when it comes to exhaustion I have never felt so tired in my liiife! Thank goodness my son has respite care today so I can keep getting some rest.
21 Likes
Way to go Laineā¦5 days is awesome
Yeah - that exhaustion at the beginning of sobriety is a bitch. Your body is doing a lot of detox work ā¦be gentle with yourself and do get rest when you are able 
6 Likes
Checking In
Day 649
Not a bad day today so far. My boy is home from school as its parent teacher conference today. Mtg went well. Then he had a medical appt here at home which also went well. I really lacked energy the rest of the day. The increase in one of my meds is reducing anxiety and allowing me to sleep at night, but it does sort of make me groggy during the day, so i think thats where this is coming from. I had some using thoughts today too. Very brief tho. Only bcuz its me and my hubbys payday today. Brushed those off and am now about to put my son to bed. I know i shouldnt be looking too far ahead but i am beyond baffled and shocked that in 2.5 months ill have 2 years clean from all mind altering substances. I truly cant believe it. I truly thought that id die addicted, alone, and completely bankrupt in all ways (spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and then of course physically). But recovery has given so much to me already. More than I ever dreamed! My birthday is coming up too and im excited to spend it clean and sober and with my little family. Life is pretty good!! Have a great night everyone 
29 Likes
Late check in for me today. I hit 13 days a couple hours ago and it feels so good. I can not wait to see my counter click over to the 14 day mark tomorrow evening. I can not remember the last time I was sober this long. I had an amazing and low key holiday. I cleaned, I cooked and I cleaned some more and I did it all without any pills. Iām truly enjoying my life and Iām starting to see what a dark place I was in. I donāt want to go back. I am actually scared to go back at this point. I feel like my true self and I like it. I feel grounded and connected and Iām such a patient person by nature. When I am using I am edgy and constantly in a hurry, itās ridiculous, I act like an asshole sometimes. 
Thatās just not my authentic self, who I am lately is my authentic self. Sobriety is really just hitting different this time, mostly because I feel like I have finally surrendered. I get it, at least I think I do. I am going to make it through the next 24 hours sober. Have a fabulous Friyay night everyone!! 
21 Likes
Just a quick check in at the very end of day 896. Wishing you all peace and calm to your weekend.
22 Likes
Evening check in.
- Appreciate what you have. Instead of yearning for what i donāt have look at the blessing right in front of me. I can go on and on about my lifetime of regret. All that would lead to is shame and guilt. How about appreciating that my sons are 4 and 2. There is the bath with all these toys. I just hear theyāre little voices and i love them so much. They really love and need me. We struggled with fertility foot years and years and here we areā¦Swimming in blessings right in from of me. Iām so happy to be there dad. In a way, i envy them. They get to grow up with parents who love each other. Itās up to me up keep my unit together and strong.
When Iām sober, Iām mindful. Not chasing dopamine highs. Iām respectful and loving. I just need every day to move forward. To be a content person. To be thankful and appreciative.
Today, we had people drop off pizza and dessert. Wife still recovering so we get lots of support from others.
I just need to bottle these pockets off happiness. These moments where Iām not over thinking about everything.
Overall, itās been a good day
18 Likes
Day 67:
Didnāt sleep well last night, but no complaints as my sleeping has slowly been getting better. Had a slow morning but got out of the house around noon to go on a hike with a friend. Beautiful day for a hike. It snowed all day yesterday so everything was covered in clean white snow. Love winter hiking, fresh cool air and no people!
Came home and my kids were at my house. We had leftovers from Thanksgiving and then got the Christmas tree up and the few other Christmas decorations I have. I do enjoy the Christmas lights though, peaceful. Always love spending the time with my kids!
Got my November workout challenge done, finally starting to feel my body getting back into shape and it feels great even though I am so sore.
Getting some laundry done and then heading to bed. Quick road trip tomorrow down to Mesquite, Nevada. Escaping with a friend for one night, looking forward to a little break from everyday life!
Iām full, tired, sore and happily sober. Taking each day one day at a time. Enjoying the simple things in life!
30 Likes
Day 153. Woke up at 5. The house is a massive massive victorian b n b. Cold tho. Elegantly done but cold. The owner has a rum nose. U know what I mean? when the blood vessels under the skin seem to bust. Off to Liverpool after breakfast. Popped in to see my parents last night and took my dad a heated blanket so he can be warm watching TV. He is embracing being 85 pretty well.
21 Likes
20 days. Im exhausted this morning, but nothing a coffee cant fix. Really starting to feel a lot of clarity and confidence, which ive not felt in a long time. Sobriety suits me well.
19 Likes
Day 769 AF
We decided to stay home today. My eldest stayed at his grandparentās house. I felt bloated and constipated from all the foods yesterday. Didnāt eat much today. Went for a walk this morning, watched movies, played videos, and got back into push-ups and planks. Weāre going to my nephewās 21st bday party tomorrow. Iām sure there will be booze. It doesnāt bother me, honestly. Beyond that stage now. Gotta keep it going.
I hope yall have a great day/night!
Peace. ODAAT.
19 Likes
1631
I had a really good talk to my therapist yesterday. It wasnāt even the advice she gave, but more the time and space I felt to talk about stuff I find it extremely hard to talk about. Which is my sexuality and how it fits into my life as a whole. Sharing helps so much to make me feel heard, to make me feel Iām not alone.
Glad to have an extra day off after working the previous Sunday for a colleague. Iāll visit a friend for coffee and have dinner with my sis and her sons for her 62th (!) birthday which is tomorrow. I wish I could do a 
ride too, but thereās just too much 
around, including hailstorms. Not for today alas.
Iāll have as good a day as I can and expect the same from you all. Sober and clean. Love from Utrecht yesterday morning.
26 Likes
282
Uber late night check in.
At work we decorated for Christmas and I was instantly in the spirit. That needed to happen bc I was afraid it wasnāt going to. And just typing that I realized how programmed we all are. Weird, but at least Iām feeling optimistic 
Then I went to my friends, where hours vanish through conversations. Itād been a while and I needed some talk. Itās amazing to have someone that makes you feel entirely comfortable being 100% you. Who understands every single thing youāve ever been through bc theyāve been there themselves. Itās a rare find and Iām grateful for her.
It was time for bed a while ago. Take care everyone
23 Likes
Finally caught up. This threadās like a runaway freight train 
. Youāre all doing great, Iām proud of yaās.
14 Likes
The sheer patheticness of my ex (my daughters dad) at times just astounds meā¦he doesnt work, has my daughter once a week on a saturday day time yet rings me 15 mins before im due to take her to ask me to get him bread and milk etc for her because he doesnt have time as hes just woke up and doesnt have a carā¦knowing full well i have covid and shouldnt go to the shops, hes had a full week to make sure he has what he needs for her ffs, so i go do it so she has what she needs while being stared at as im the only person wearing a facemask and still managed to bite my tongue when i saw him as my daughter was there! just grrrrrr
13 Likes
Good morning everyone, happy sober Saturday to you all
Iāve been up and about early today, went shopping and picked up some shopping, did a couple of washings and folded towels etc.
Now relaxing on the couch to watch Manchester City vs Liverpool on the TV.
I have my 1st ever powerlifting competition this evening, so Iām going to be taking it easy and fuelling up until then.
17 Likes
Day 39. Happy Saturday! Sleep 8s much better. Now that im not blasted every night my body is getting back to normal. I did some research on sleep as well and it looks like having a set wake up time ever day (even on your off days) helps to regulate your system. Ive been getting up at 5 for the last 2 weeks and its starting to work. Not every night yet but many of them.
Went to a family gathering last night (2nd Thanksgiving type thing). I was the only one not drinking. That really didnāt bother me because going in I knew that was going to be the case. However it felt like it was dragging on and everyone was loud (dang I sound old 
). In the past I would have became irritable and āpissyā because I was doing something that I didnāt want to. Instead I remembered what someone said not long ago at a meeting. Something like I dont need to have a good time but I do need to make sure I donāt cause someone else to have a bad time because of my attitude. In the end I made it out alive, sober, and not irritating anyone haha.
Have an awesome sober day my friends!!
21 Likes
Hey all, checking in on day 1259. I hope everybody has a good one!
22 Likes
Hya, checking in on day 4, i had a much better sleep, but feel very tired, also trying not to feel overwhelmed and impatient which usually happens, had my daughter stay last night and popping out in a bit, im definitely worried about money, as its so close to Christmas, but thats a month away! Its just the usual stress of relapse, but checking in here is keeping me focused, really am so so tired of the merry go round and really am ready to stop for good x
18 Likes
Early checkin day 9. I was an emotional mess last night and cried for about 2 hours when I went to bed. Every thought and feeling was making me cry. This morning isnāt much better. If this continues today, itāll be really tempting g to drink. I really only crave the numbness of drinking when my emotions are out of control. I plan to check in here often. And trying to plan something enjoyable for today. At least I currently have a cat asleep in my lap while I drink my morning coffee.
24 Likes