3 day sober check-in 
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You and your family are in my thoughts 
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Day 174. My partners youngest son came for lunch with his girlfriend, her two children and her mother. Iām finding it hard to relax and enjoy so many new people. Christmas use to be with my kids and folks I know but I know I wonāt see my children this Christmas. Hard to relax and handle the parallel scenario of missing people and having people I donāt know so well here
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Thinking of you Delia and sending you comforting hugs. Much love to you dear friend 
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Thanks Menno, whatās bothering me the most is the moment is that my brother invited my parents for Christmas Eve. I heard that from my mother before the funeral. Iām nowhere in the equation so in the f*ck it mode about that. Itās the Eve I nearly died several times before I got sober. I know Iām not getting what I missed, but this pushes a lot of buttons, resentment, anger you name it. The best thing I can do maybe is to break contact this is just to fucked up. Wouldnāt mind if the three of them would drop death instantly. A therapist a long time ago said I was sacrificed by them and still I try things to get approval etc. 
. This brings my right to the existential pain. Goddamn it.
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Evening check in, 92 days. I am so far behind as wasnāt able to catch up yesterday. Work has been really busy, and now I am just tired. Early night tonight before a busy weekend.
I feel like I am changing lately, like the essence of me is different. Not sure what that is all about. I donāt know if I am toughening up, or working through things. I quite like the new me though. I donāt think I am as selfish and seem to have less of an ego.
Hope to try and catch up more tomorrow. Take care all
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284
Today went alright, all should be good. But Iām not feeling it. I didnāt sleep well last night, maybe Iām just tired now and that leaves me feeling deflated and a bit short fused. Wellā¦ not every day can be perfect. Iām in bed sober now, thatās enough.
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@Steve92 Iām happy to have provided a laugh 
congrats on the new job 
@Juli1 congrats on double digits
@SoberWalker huge difference! Canāt wait to hear about it when youāre happy with it 
Hope the party was fun 
@RosaCanDo bless you Rosa Iām sorry itās so rough, it sounds awful. I hope you feel better asap š©µ
@Mindofsobermike congrats on your month most side-effects only last up to 2 weeks, you should start feeling better soon 
@Rob11 I hope the funeral went as well as these things can. Iām sorry about your family. Sending strength š©µ
@Deelzebub Iām glad youāre allowing yourself a break over the weekend, these anniversaries can be tough, Iām sorry for what you went through š©µ
1222 days no alcohol.
687 days no cocaine.
202 days no vape.
Didnāt get to sleep until after 4:45am this morning. I didnt spend much, but I still had to reset my impulsive spending counter when I saw 2 emails that were both order confirmations. Insomnia is my main trigger at the moment.
I only slept until 8:30am, did my morning routine, spent some time with my cats, then wrapped my Auntieās Xmas present and wrote their card. Then walked to the place I was meeting my Auntie, Uncle, and a family friend, for a carvery lunch, it was really good, it always is, we even had dessert because it was basically our Xmas dinner together. I had a nice time.
Since I walked home, I have just spent time with my cats, watched an episode of the program Iām watching, and unfortunately I binged as well, despite having a proper meal at lunchtime. I seem out of control in regards to my binge-eating at the moment, but I must keep trying not to beat myself up over it, my family do enough of that with their disappointment in me.
Wishing you all wonderful sober weekends. 
š©µ
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Checking in sober.
Feeling better after being down with a migraine the last two days. I think I accidentally had some gluten when I went out to dinner and that triggered it. Still not quite 100%.
Iām volunteering tonight at our local theatre. Not sure if Iāll stay for the show or come home and go to bed early.
OFDAAT
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Checking in
Day 670
Had a fairly relaxing day. I had the morning to myself since my son was in school. I ran 1 errand and then grabbed breakfast and went home to do some Christmas wrapping. Also tidied up the apartment a bit more bcuz my son is getting a special one on one visit with Santa later. Hes super excited 
Had 1 odd thought of using earlier today, but was easily able to push it aside. Not much else to mention I guess. Just another day clean and sober! 
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Day
219 no alcohol
150 no ciggs or vapes
2 no cbd or thc or any form of weed
I have a freedom to make choices
Today i choose to be sober and i love that freedom
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@rob11 how are you doing Rob? I can imagine a funeral being tough enough to attend but then the family isolation can be devastating. I am sorry friend. I do hope you are able to heal from the resentment and anger ā it is only causing you more pain. It may be a good idea to break contact for the time being. Are you able to make an appointment with a therapist to discuss your emotions and pain? Sending you love and hugs
@timetochange Sending you some relaxing vibes to get through the holidays with your partners family. Know that we are here for you if you need support. Make sure to have a safe space for yourself at home that you can escape to if you feel overwhelmed.
@catmancam Oh friend big hugs to you. I am grateful that you are not beating yourself up over the binge. I am so sorry about your family. You are doing amazingly well in working on yourself and your sober journey with all your timers. Super proud of you and your achievements.
@bomdhil 11 days is awesome Thomas! I am so sorry you are feeling weak on your journey. We are here for you friend. Are you able to connect with someone for support that can also help provide in real life motivation? Hang on friend ā it does get easier.
@butterflymoonwoman So excited for your son Dana ā a special Santa visit today? That is so lovely
Been a rough day physicallyā¦ I am going to try and make a good dinner for some nutrition.
hoping everyone had a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love
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On day 11. So far, no overwhelming cravings 
Iāve just been working a whole lot and keeping busy with hobbies! I hope everyone is doing well!
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Hey Jazzyā¦First off Happy Belated Birthday lovely 
Hope you get some rest and feel better. A good meal nutritious meal is the way too go! Love yaā:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
I as well am getting excited to creep into triple digits. No going backwards no matter what. I am staying strong in faith and trusting God! Learning and growing, not always easy as change can be very uncomfortable but I have been still for too long I want to liveā:pray:t5:
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Thank you Des for the birthday wishes
So happy to hear about your faith and trust 
. You are stronger than this addiction. Great work on your journey
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Thank you Jazzy , same to you. Your support offered on this community is admirable and helps tremendously. Well done on your recovery journey too ā¦glad to be sharing this time together 
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Hey Dana,
So excited for your son. As well proud of your days. You are doing amazing! Itās nice to know that although the thought comes to use we can just as easily dismiss and move on! Real strength and progress!
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