Congratulations on your 10 days Pamala.
Those first 10 ODAAT’s were the hardest days of my recovery. I never have to do that again. I been depressed as shit all day. But you know what? This too shall pass. Let’s just feel this crap together and have a better day tomorrow, because we will go to bed sober tonight.
Great job on the 10
30 days sober. Ive been doing some reading and language learning which has been really fun. Ive not been going to my book club, but i plan to go back. I got a bit thrown off by new year busy-ness.
My mood is pretty good, less negative thoughts. My sleep cycle is completely out of whack. Find it hard to get out of bed and i sleep for long hours. Any tips? Always been a late riser…
Wishing you all of the best in your endeavours and continued sobriety!
Nice job ShyBert. 30 feels wild to me. Like a super long time, but also just a drop in the bucket. One day at a time is so much more manageable for me to comprehend. But 30 really does feel good to me too. I think I actually care about other people more.
Congrats again bud
Congrats on your double digits Pamela.
We will definitely have our ups and downs and the down days really do make us question why we are even on the sober journey. I can tell you that it does get easier and better. You will not have to endure the hell from the beginning days ever again. It really did take me about a month to start getting a routine down. At the beginning it was all about just not picking up. Not having that first drink or puff. Whatever it took to go to bed sober was all that i was focused on and every night was a win in my book (even if all i did that day was sleep).
We are right here with you love - keep pushing forward. ODAAT 
Thank you so much
Love seeing this – way to go with your 1 month!! Woot Woot! Grateful to hear that the negative thoughts are lessening. The sleep cycle is a bitch … a few things that might help listed below
Hoping that you are able to get your sleep regulated soon Should be very proud of your milestone!
Hi Talking Sober Family
Day 22 AF
Day 140 doc
Day 0 ciggarettes
Self compassion and increasing my faith is my goal right now.
Being hard on myself and living in regret has only lead to relapse and negativy.
I continue to grow and learn on this journey.
I have been consistent with my morning prayer, meditation and reading JFT. I also have been journaling and creating a strong community of support. Faith with out works doesn’t exist. Grateful to be here. Love to you all. Keep at it
Happy 24 
These are wonderful tips and reminders thank you Jazzy. Love it, Love ya! 
Congratulations on your 30 day milestone. Keep at it!
Hi all,
Long day, but I love this new job. They have accepted my request for hours to suit my family better, so I am really happy & will be starting with them full time soon! Im just so happy that its gone this way, as I knew I couldnt take a job I couldnt take (if that makes sense).
It is a really big change in our home & I know hubby is feeling it. I have worked from home for the last…I want to say 8 or 9 years? So my work and home work (LOL) has always been stuff I had to navigate together. He has always worked outside of the home, and its his first time working from home. This is just a big change in terms of responsibilities and dynamics. Im curious to see how it will go, but I am very happy with this new job & hope things work out.
Happy to be tired. Thats not what i meant to write but LOL Meant to say happy to be sober but there it is. Xo fam.
Hi wonderful people of TS. I thought I’d check in here for a change. It’s a bit of a long post, so bear with.
You know when you’re having trouble sleeping and all kinds of thoughts run through your head? Many times it can be embarrassing things that you’ve done in the past, like many memes on the internet suggest. I have those sometime too, but this time I’m livid. And it’s not because of embarrassing things that I’ve done.
I can’t sleep because I’m angry at things that happened to me, where I felt that I was mistreated or taken advantage of.
So some background. I was bullied at school, and I’ve always felt that it affected me in such a way that I somehow always fell short for attention. By the time I was in high school the bullying was non existent, but I can see now how I behaved rather desperately to keep friendships. I would brake my own boundaries, quite easily, to get the acceptance from people. I didn’t understand this at the time, I was young and naive, but I see it now.
So I’m just kinda processing this in writing now, and am not sure where I’m going with this. Maybe I just need to get this off my chest so I can go back to sleep. It’s past midnight, around 3am so I rather sleep.
It’s just that there are some events or chain of events, that I’m angry about, or that is occupying my thoughts. So, I had a psychosis in 2005, and life after that was a bit of a shit show for a bit. I was afraid to talk about all of the symptoms that I had, I was afraid of the stigma that mental illnesses have, and also I really didn’t understand then what had happened to me, and I didn’t quite have the words, it was just such a unique, and scary experience. And looking back now, I was 24 years old, I didn’t understand life that much. Well, compared to now. Can’t say that I have to all figured out now either, but time has passed and I have gathered experiences in that time.
Anyhow, I was able to get some help from doctors, and all, but inside I was a ticking time bomb, if you don’t mind the metaphor. But I was able to do some work and have some kind of a social life, but in 2008 that sort of slowly shifted. I was working a job that was too much for me, and it was wee bit of a triggering environment, I was working as a teacher’s assistant in a school. I got the job via an acquaintance, she worked as a teacher there.
I started slowly getting more anxious there and displaying unusual behaviour. And I remember it was the last week of school before summer holidays, my mum called me at work, and said to that she thinks it’s best that we go to a psychiatric hospital. She said that she was worried about me. I was hesitant at first, but because I was feeling so burned out, I didn’t have the capacity to resist. Anyway, long story short, I went, they took me in, and I stayed there for four months.
Now what bothers me, is that this teacher, the acquaintance, vaguely knew my mum, and together with two other ladies, who all sort of knew each other, they talked about me behind my back, about my behaviour, that I had been displaying. Two of them were nurses, so they understood that I needed help. But how I wish that they would’ve talked to me about it too. Yes I understand that I might have not been in a mental state to understand and hear all that they would’ve said, but now we’ll never know. And I understand that they did the best they could in that situation, they were worried about me. I just think that I would like to have been involved somehow. A year later I did talk with them, the three ladies and my mum, separately though. One of them got a bit defensive, but the rest understood where I was coming from.
And to be frank, I don’t know if they could’ve handled the situation any better, but I’m just here, replaying the situation in my head and the anger I felt then. And still do evidently. Should they have had an intervention for me, I don’t know. I mean I knew something was wrong with me, but I wasn’t willing to accept the gravity of it.
But there’s nothing I can do that would change the past. What I can do now, is deal with these thoughts and emotions.
I’m also angry at myself, how I’ve let myself be taken advantage of, because I’ve been too kind at times. Because I was bullied, and therefore desperate not to lose friends. Maybe that’s post for another time, I’m starting to get tired, yay! Anyway, once again, I cannot change what happened, but I can learn from it. I don’t have to be a dick, but I don’t have to be a push-over either.
Thanks for reading. 
Day 716
Day is winding down. Had a fairly productive day. Exercised, had well balanced eating, im clean and sober, all good things that im going for these days. Going to do some self care in a bit. Nice hot shower, skin care, etc. Really hoping that I can keep this momentum up. I feel 1000x better when i have structure and routine to my day. Hope everyone is doing alright! Much love TS fam!
Today work stress made me want to drink more than ever, BUT I didn’t and instead my counter is now at 12 days! Yayyy! I definitely ate alot more than I wanted and cried a bit, but those can be looked at as the lesser of the evils right? 
Stay strong everyone!
That’s great! I moved your post to this thread where lots of us share our counters and support each other. Hope you can participate more here!
Thank u for sharing 
Im so sorry for everything uv been thru and how its still effecting u to this day. People honestly can be so cruel. Especially growing up. I was also bullied in school (prior to getting into drugs) and then also had issues with boundaries and friendships. I think we do the best we can to survive in our circumstances. Idk about u but i wasnt shown how to set boundaries or how to have healthy relationships so i did the best with the knowledge that i had. Maybe u can relate? I really hope that ur able to get some rest now. Its nice to see u on the check in thread 
137 af
Warning! Vulnerability Post:
I’m going somewhere I’ll likely be tempted to drink (not going is not an option). I’m getting stronger in dealing with temptation, and deep down I KNOW I can do this–but I’d appreciate any words of support. Thanks 
Hey you, 137 days is amazing. I can’t wait to say that is my number. Tomorrow, you’re going to be 138 af… because you are absolutely right. You CAN do this. Stay strong. Remember your reasons. Sending you love and courage
I hope everything goes alright for u wherever ur going Are u able to leave early or step outside of this event if things get too tempting? It sounds like it may be a slippery situation as u said ur likely to be tempted. If things get too much, definitly come on here so that we can help u thru it. Good luck!
Checking in on day 2 without alcohol. I had made it to about 5 months earlier last year, but started drinking again during a birthday mini vacation in the summer. It wasn’t too bad at first but continued to get worse and worse and recently I have been right back at the same feelings of disappointment, guilt, and sickness that I was a year ago before I stopped the first time. During those 5 months sober coming on here and reading/posting was super helpful and motivating. I’m glad to be back.
Hey, good topic. It motivated me to go online searching for articles on temptation. Seems it might stem from some negative emotions, different for everyone. Guilt, shame, resentment. Maybe try to preview in your mind what emotions might crop up for you.
Happy sober day