I was like this for three weeks I think… So so angry. It’s like men in black where your mind gets erased and all you can see is a glassful of mindlessness and escape from your pain and anger and whatever it is going on. I sat on the sofa fuming my way thru the feelings and thoughts of ‘i can start again’ ‘i always feel more resolved after a slip, this will actually help me’ … That one was the most cringey.
Keep pushing Jenny, some days bed is the only way. I was asleep before 11 last night. It helped a bit. I just have to be real with myself and treat myself with truth.
I feel very proud of myself today. I did Dry January last year which was the longest I had gone without alcohol in who knows how long. So this is officially the longest I’ve gone. And feel great.
I’ve gone back to look at journal entries from the first week or so, it feels like so long ago even though it hasn’t been, but I feel like I’ve come so far. The cravings are very minimal for me and I rarely think about wine anymore. I’m so thankful for this platform.
Good morning sober fam. I’m not sure how this happened I could of swore I marked my counter for 11/15. But I looked yesterday bc I was confused how it was 90 days and it said 11/14 so I fixed it to the 15th and today is 90 days. Which is still confusing but w.e I’m sober that’s all that matters. All is going well, on break at work and it’s a good day. Cleaning the ICU and kinda doing it myself my trainee is kinda just watching and doing other little tasks. But it’s going good and yeah after work probably just going to relax. Congratulations on two years @Butterflymoonwoman.
Checking in after not being on here for a few days. I have so much going on. I think I’m trying to do too much and im getting overwhelmed. Woke up to a couple inches of snow, which i hate. Im working evenings this week, so it should be cleaned up or melted before i have to go out. My relaxing weekend i was looking forward to turned into a mess of stress and tension. My husband and i had a falling out with his brother over an incident with his brother’s new girlfriend while on vacation in the fall. We only see his brother once or twice a year due to living 1,200 miles apart. We sorta ignored the issue and hoped it would resolve itself. It hasn’t and now there’s anger and hurt feelings all around. It was made out by them that it’s my fault. I’ve been running things over and over in my head and trying to see what part i played in it. I honestly feel i handled it as best as i could at the time. I do feel bad that they are upset, but I’m not apologizing when i don’t feel i did anything wrong. I was so upset at the time, that i almost relapsed. Im not putting myself in that position again. Ugh! I guess im rambling. I just needed to get that all out of my head. I hope everyone has a beautiful sober day.
Awe thank you I feel as though I come off as a hot mess, but I’m ok with that lol I just enjoy posting how I feel and not knowing anyone. It feels freeing whether people read anything I say or not. Even though my name and location are kind of out there I feel anonymous and it feels empowering I guess. I’m so proud of you and your progress as well. I think we’re around the same timeframe sober journey. Let’s keep pushing
Day 6 AF
Made it through yesterday. Holidays are very stressful at my job and with vday coming to a close and transitioning for a spring set up things gave been very hectic. My boss randonmly popped in yesterday, shipments are delayed and i had a mini anxiety attack. With trying to focus on my sobriety i had the thought a few times, that maybe i should wait until the holiday changeover is done to start this journey- but i persevered because i know that now is the right time. I had my husband drive me to my second work location though because i just didnt trust myself. I ended the evening good watching a movie with my daughter and got a good night’s rest-although i did have my first set of crazy dreams (not drinking ones at least). I feel lots better this morning. Much more cofident and solid in my decision. Thanks for listening.
Checking in, don’t know the exact day because I have a new cellphone and still didn’t download the TS app. I’m sober and I’m good
Work day done, on my way home now.
I’m so happy that carnival is over guys, oof
My city returns to normality.
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong
Haha, trust me, somedays I don’t. I’m fortunate to be semi retired and have no real obligations at this point.
As beautiful as this place is I am hopeful to be leaving it soon and heading back to where my heart is, our cabin in central BC…
Decided to stay in touch with my Tinder match, if I keep on holding on the shore I’ll never come across the ocean. Can not be more then being honest if required and keep connected with myself.
