Checking in daily to maintain focus #63

Whatever works for ya brother. You are an interesting person for sure.
I dig it.

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Checking in. Today I worked a lot and did some chores so I just managed to catch up with my feelings in the evening. I still need some alone time with my thoughts every day, as this is how I’ve always worked, and also I have this compulsion to monitor my emotions to be aware if anything changes, if I’m about to slip back towards those overwhelming feelings that I was defenceless against. But that’s ok for now until it doesn’t take over my day and doesn’t become an avoidance of my present.
I have procrastinated my homework for therapy, so I have only one day left to do it. I have to write my future-self a letter. I know that it would be useful, as I have problems with remembering and I know I will forget almost everything that happened lately. Also I don’t connect emotions to those few memories that I store, so even if I would remember some factual stuff that would be foreign to me. I always thought that this is a good thing, because I don’t have connection to my past, but now looking forward it’s scary to not have the information that would eventually protect me from further harm. Having a piece of paper with that information doesn’t seem to be a strong assurance either, but better than nothing, so I will take the time tomorrow to write it.

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Congratulations and welcome to the 500 club Sabrina :boom::boom::boom::boom::boom:
You are ……
image
:pray:t2::heart:

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Congrats on your 362 ODAATs Laura. 363 now :thinking:
This is getting good :blush:
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:pray:t2::heart:

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@butterflymoonwoman 2 years!!! Way to go Dana! so wonderful to see you excel each day and overcome this addiction. A true warrior! :muscle:
@frank68 great to see you checking in – glad to see your numbers increasing :muscle: Keep it going!
@juli1 WOOT WOOT Girl – 2 weeks is amazing work! You are doing a wonderful job and am proud of you taking note of your feelings and working through them rather than having them work you. Keep putting in the work my friend :muscle:
@lile01 oh I am so happy to see you checking in with 8 days and having gone to Urgent Care. Grateful they gave you meds to help. I am keeping my fingers crossed that your GP is supportive and helpful in your journey. Keep that empowering strength alive my friend – you are doing amazingly well. Big hugs to you today as you grieve the loss of your mom :people_hugging: :heart:
@jennyh 1 week Jenny! Nicely done! Oh yes – I do remember the intense childlike tantrums well. My mind would also then say – you are an adult and don’t need permission – just do what you want (knowing that what I wanted was harmful and setting me back). Nothing wrong with the impulses—do know that they are temporary and will pass and lessen if we don’t give in. :hugs:
@seizetheday they are pesky thoughts and well done on not indulging or giving them life. You are smashing it with 43 days! :muscle:
@mindofsobermike official 90 days!!! :tada: :clap: way to go Mike!!
@tifflynn07 way to go on beating your best sober time—grateful that you are here with us and kicking ass daily. I too find it so empowering to be totally honest here among strangers. How we all come together to support one another and share how we overcome our daily life struggles while maintaining sobriety. 44 days and going strong my friend :muscle:
@shel75 great to see you checking in – it’s ok to ramble and vent here as I find getting the frustrations out in the open take them off of you. I do hope you feel lighter because of it. Sorry that your relaxing weekend turned on you. I do hope that you are able to have a wonderful start to your week :people_hugging: Grateful that you will not let this ruin your sobriety.
@sabrina80 WOW 500 days Sabrina! So grateful to see you popping in with an incredible milestone. SO glad that the carnival is finally over and you can get your peace back!

All the amazing milestones being celebrated! you guys rock!!!
giphy

giphy

Checking in with not a whole lot going on – still very drained and exhausted. slept most of today and needed my TS fix – now off to bed again. Hoping for more energy tomorrow. Did manage another day of sobriety so that’s a win!
Wishing you all a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love :heart: :heart:

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I do NOT know how you manage to make everyone feel special while you are drained and exhausted, but you pulled it off for sure. I hope you get some more energy and feeling more upbeat soon. Until then let your body rest as much as it needs … much love friend

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aaah thank you dear friend - appreciate you saying so. i get as much as i give here and it is what keeps me going. so grateful for you and my TS family :people_hugging:

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@acromouse sorry for all the emotional stuff :people_hugging: but that’s huge progress :raised_hands:t2:
@Forgive_Yourself thank you :blush: 🩵
@Juli1 congrats on 2 weeks :tada: sorry for your eating and body image issues, you know I can relate :people_hugging:🩵
@Lile01 I hope you managed to get more of the meds :crossed_fingers:t2: sending strength and love as these anniversaries are hard :people_hugging:🩵
@JennyH, yes, with food I do :weary: congrats on your week :tada:
@Sabrina80 congrats on 500 days :tada:
@Noshame congrats on 80 days no THC :tada: I’m glad family life is going well, enjoy valentines day :blush:

1282 days no alcohol.
747 days no cocaine.
262 days no vape.
7 days no binge-eating.

Woke up on time, had a bath, and caught a bus into the city centre for therapy.

Therapy session was more of a quick update, she doesn’t seem to accept that I am content with never having sexual relations again, she insisted that there will come a time when I do. So I agreed to meet with the guy she spoke about last week, and he has contacted me this evening. We have agreed to meet on Thursday afternoon, so I’m very nervous about that as it’s not in a professional capacity. :grimacing: He is in reccovery from addiction though. She is also going to ask a guy from a charity to speak to me about making safer choices, so I agreed to that too. Atleast if I do ever decide to engage with it at any point in the future, I should be set up to do so in a safe and healthy manner. I am intrigued as to what this guy will have to say about that on Thursday.

Tomorrow I have my next physio treatment for my back, I found it very awkward last time because it did end up being a massage, it was over quickly though, my appt was only ten minutes long, so atleast I know what to expect this time.

The binge-eating urges are strong, but the shops are closed now so I’m safe for another night. :raised_hands:t2:

My Asthma is pretty bad tonight, hoping it settles down so I can get some sleep soon.

🩵

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Checking in Day 36
Definitely at one of my lower rock bottoms
But feeling empowered
And still sober so at least
I got through today sober and tried my best to be mindful and focus on the little things.
It can only go up right?

May everyone find some peace in their sobriety today :dove::peace_symbol::two_hearts:

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Congrats on your 1 week of being binge-eating free!
I can understand your therapist concerns and grateful that she is equipping you to deal with whatever situation may arise in the future.

YES! this exactly. much love to you my friend. Hoping your treatment is longer tomorrow (can’t imagine you feeling relief in 10 minutes).

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Enjoying a night in

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Day 46. I am struggling financially more than I ever have. As the day goes on I just keep telling myself that it’s no reason to fade out and that fading out will make it worse all the way around.

Interesting stuff about what my Father said. I failed psychologically. A point: He prefers I continue drinking once I get into a healthier life. Hmmph. I have earlier quit many times before visiting them and have gone back each time.

For those who don’t know yet, I have been quitting off and on for over three decades. No time has passed 90-ish days. I keep that strongly up front in my mind. How long, why, why would I go back to it? Ppppsssshhh. My life will be rewarding.

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I am feeling good these days, i cant wait to start seeing my therapist. First meeting on thursday.
I have a hard time with my energy level…a real energy rollercoaster ride :sweat_smile:
I am taking the time to rest and i am trying to be my best friend

Have a great night all of you
Bisou

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Checking in sober Day 43. I want to thank everyone for posting here. It really helps me to know I am not alone. I also get ideas for things I need to do, like find a therapist. I am grateful for TS and all of you!

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Three days into not drinking after basically a three month bender and was strong enough to pour out the half of the bottle I had left. Pretty proud of myself. Sad because of the circumstances that led me here, but at least happy it led me to want to get sober again. Please pray for me as I transition from letting go of my dream school. Sending you all so much love. It’s not an easy life being an alcoholic but we are so strong to want better. I believe in you. I believe in us. We are all worthy of self acceptance, forgiveness, love and health that leads us to it. 🫶🏻

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Where’s Dana?
@Butterflymoonwoman
I hope you are having a great cake day on your 2 years sober/clean/anniverssy.
It’s getting late and I got to go to bed. I’m so proud of you Gurl :boom::boom:. You’ve come so far and it’s been an absolute pleasure being a part of your journey. God Bless you my friend.
:pray:t2: :heart: as you’ve already blessed us with your presence here.
You never gave up!! And you are doing it!!

Happy 2 Years to you my friend.
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Welcome back Laine

From Matthew Perry RIP
While he prefers not to disclose how long he’s currently been sober, he does still count each day. “It’s important, but if you lose your sobriety, it doesn’t mean you lose all that time and education,” he says. “Your sober date changes, but that’s all that changes. You know everything you knew before, as long as you were able to fight your way back without dying, you learn a lot.”

I hope you see you around the forum

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1712


I’m getting ever better at helping others and I spend ever more time doing that, but when it comes to myself I fail. It’s the oldest trap for people doing work like I do. As long as we’re busy trying to help others we don’t have to think about our own problems and failings, and work on those. Faced with my own shit I keep making the same mistakes. Well. Sigh. One more day of work and I’m off for two, including a meeting with my therapist. Glad I’m not done with that yet. Although I have to stand on my own two feet emotionally at some point too. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love from my commute.

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Well, the trouble is, legally, I have no rights to her even though she’s been one of my kids since she was 5 weeks old. She is my husband’s (legally) ex step dad’s daughter. 30 years ago her dad dated my ex’s mother. They broke up and he married someone else and had my bonus kid.

So if he says no she can’t officially move here/ he doesn’t want to send money for her, there’s nothing I can do.

I could at that point call child services, but they would remove her to a state home/foster care. I used to be given custody when she was removed, but that was because I was “family friend” that they chose over strangers. But if I am the one calling, I don’t think it would be the same.

:pensive:

I just want what’s best for her, and all the other kids! I hope he doesn’t push back.

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Happy Soberversary!!
:sparkling_heart::confetti_ball::gift:
Love you Hun! I hope you are celebrating and having a beautiful day
@Butterflymoonwoman

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