Last month my entire focus was on not drinking, even if that meant me eating whatever I wanted to curb the cravings.
I decided I would do 1200 calories a day starting February 1st… as of this morning I’m down 4.2lbs
I’m feeling very focused on myself in 2024 for the first time in a long time. I tend to focus all of my energy on everyone else around me… so I’m really trying to be a more balanced person.
I made it through yesterday, day 50, but it doesn’t feel like a victory. It feels like it shouldn’t have been so hard and today I’m exhausted and feeling kind of hungover anyway. I was so glad I didn’t drink by the time the evening rolled around, but that feeling didn’t last long. I’m so tired… a little better flu-wise (able to get out of bed) but still not feeling well. I just feel so defeated. Life is throwing too much at me. I know there are people in this thread going through much harder stuff than me, and I know I have a lot to be grateful for, but it’s just how I feel. Maybe I’m a weak person, not wired to handle this stuff (normal life stuff). If i could just feel things would get a little better, if I had some hope maybe I could find some courage, but honestly I don’t have any strength left. I feel very at odds with the world, like it is rejecting me, it’s not a fit for me anymore. I think I used alcohol to mask that feeling for most of my life, and now it’s there more than ever. I really did try, I think I really gave it my best, and isn’t that all we have to give.
I’m sorry your feeling this way, hug to you you are not weak, I’m sure amongst so many other things that makes you a strong person (even if you don’t realize it) you have 50 days. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I have had similar thoughts and feelings but I also recognize my brain is sick right now, still healing, so I don’t focus on those. I have had far more good moments than bad the last 76 days, and some of those bad moments were heart wrenching, almost crippling, but I’m not trying to live in those moments, I’m choosing to focus on the good. You are definitely in a fight, at least that’s how it feels some times to me going through this journey, just keep fighting back
and
Sweet Lauren, don’t be that hard for yourself. Do not compair yourself with others.
Wat would you say to someone you do not know who is in your situation?
Probably something like: “heal, rest and give it time. Rome isn’t build in one day”.
Ore something simulair?
You are still in the beginning of your recovery, your body and mind are adjusting to your new lifestyle. Ànd you have the flu!
Yes, you may feel tired and depressed. I would too!
Congratulations with the 50 days and keep going Lauren, it will be better
Day 92. Hey sober fam, I’m doing ok. Tuesday I ate some Chinese food and got sick in the middle of the night. I made it to work Wednesday but I was still super sick so I asked to leave. I could see some people were super disappointed and idk I just felt judged. and then today I’m at work and I feel like I’m just making a bunch of mistakes. Idk I’ll get through it but yeah I’m just having a hard time lol. But much love
@shel75 sending you love and comfort today my friend – hope your MRI goes well @dustysprungfield It’s weird how anxiety creeps up on you. Unnerving really as it comes out of the blue when you are doing so well. I am grateful to hear that you are playing the tape forward, preparing for the weekends and focusing on sobriety. All we can do is focus on the moment at hand and add on some more sober time. Keep going strong in your sober journey @acromouse Grateful for the charged battery my friend – I do feel like I can sense its magical powers today – So very grateful @Englishd You doing ok Derrek? Haven’t seen you around much and maybe a check in is what’s needed? I know you have much going on at the moment – do hope you are well. @juli1 Way to go with your 16 days Jules! I am sorry that the body image is messing with your head. You are a very active woman and have healthy habits. Keep on the track of sobriety and I believe you will start feeling / seeing the health benefits too. Its crazy how much damage alcohol can do to our bodies. No need for crazy diets friend – just 0 alcohol I know its not easy to get these thoughts out of the head once they creep in. You are not alone in this – practice positive affirmations and remind yourself of the beautiful badass rockstar that you are. @cleanheart so lovely to hear that you are doing better today and day 1 is awesome! I do find the practice of gratitude to be so rewarding and healing. Do join us on the gratitude thread if you are interested… Daily Gratitude, The Air Of Recovery #6 @catmancam UGH another 10 min appointment? Can you ask them if this is the norm? Not sure what you are gaining from such a short appointment. I do hope the rehab is more lucrative. OOF – the cc issues are such a hassle. I know we have had that happen many times and not even sure how they get the cc #. The wait for the replacement card was the hardest part. I do hope you get yours soon so that you can get all your meds and such sorted out. @catmama23 Way to go with your 50 days Lauren – I will celebrate extra on your behalf till you are ready to feel the joys of your accomplishment. I know its not easy but do not compare yourself to others. What is easy for one is a mountain for another and yet we all have our own burdens and hurdles to overcome. You are not weak!! Please get that out of your head. I see you pushing forward and making changes on a daily and stacking up these days is not for the weak – believe me! I am so sorry that you feel defeated. I can relate that sometimes you just get hit with a ton of bricks of emotion and it feels like you are drowning in negativity. The thoughts can be crippling and really make you think that they are right. I am here to tell you that they are lies. You are a strong amazing woman and I see you giving it your best. You are not done love – keep that umph alive! We are here for you… utilize your irl tools. Sending you loads of love I try to surround myself with positive affirmations, comedy to lift my spirits and beauty / meditation to ease my soul. @noshame So lovely to see you checking in - grateful that you three are doing well. Much love to momma and baby Archer @Mindofsobermike Food poisoning is horrible. I am sorry you had to go through that. Stay hydrated today - take deep breathes and hopefully things will fall into place.
Checking in on Thursday morning…
Woke up late which felt good. Was a very disturbed sleep last night as i was up almost every 1/2 hour. Not sure how but i almost fell off of the king sized bed three times. Grateful that i did not i do have more energy today - trying to take things slow so that i can stretch it out. Was able to meet my mom for a quick coffee this morning which is always lovely.
Gonna try and make the most of today! Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love
Checking in because I care about this community. I also care about me and my sober journey. My path is a bit gravelly with some hard to walk on stones. Speaking metaphorically of course. 24 hours and/or 1 day can alter the direction to a smoother journey. I have my sights on that!! Take care of you TALKING SOBER PEEPS!
Checking in
2 years 2 days
Im doing a lot of cleaning today. Thats my main priority. I have to do the awake overnight shift with my son tonight so i wanted to get all the cleaning done today as I know Ill be too tired tmrw to do it. I also have to run an errand and will be doing that shortly. Its just a busy day all around.
Im doing okay recovery wise but have had some thoughts today of my DOC. It truly baffles me that after all this time of being clean, that I still think of it. Idk . In reality though 2 years is still so short compared to how long ive used. Will just keep on moving forward. Hope everyone is doing fantastic today!
Thanks to everyone who checked in and sent comforting thoughts for me today. It means a lot.
I made it through the MRI with no problems. It was uncomfortable, but not especially painful. They did a regular MRI, then took me to another room (x-ray), put several numbing shots in my hip, injected the dye into the joint, then did another MRI. It’s still pretty numb, but wearing off. I have about an hour to rest before i go to work. Hopefully it doesn’t get too sore.
I got up super early (4:30) and took care of some running around and errands i had to get done today for our service organization. Thankfully, i had some help, everyone showed up on time and it went smoothly. Another thing i can check off my to do list.
I have a lot of things i need to get done, but im making progress and not feeling as pressured as i was a few days ago. I put a lot of pressure on myself and get upset when things don’t go perfectly. I’m working on that and asking for help when i need it.
Hope everyone has a great sober day!
Great attitude. You got this!! Just one day at a time. I read a book about addiction and it is says you’ll always have thoughts but you have the control to give into those thoughts. You are strong and you can get through anything. I believe in you xx
Still going strong in my sobriety.
Recently got approved to move into a new apartment which I’m really looking forward to.
It will be nice to have my own place where I can continue to work on my own inner peace. I did make amends with my roommate which lifted a lot of stress. Had a good work day. Put forth a solid effort that I’m proud of. It started snowing like crazy! I was able to take the pup out- she really loves the snow shovelled and put some salt down. Have a doctor’s appointment tonight which will be good to have a check-in. All and all feeling accomplished. Goodluck to everyone fighting addiction. Stay strong and stay the course. It’s worth it
Checking in. Today wasn’t quite productive work-wise, but that’s ok, although I have a lot of deadlines for next week, so sooner or later I will have to catch up with my schedule. Had my therapy session, no deep stuff this time, rather practical advices, but I think that will be useful for maintaining balance throughout my days. No overthinking or overfeeling today so far, so that’s really good. Now just watching a show and then I’m going to read a bit. I keep trying to go to bed earlier without success, I hope today I will sleep a bit more finally and have a bit more energy tomorrow.