That period lasted from about to 12 to 18 for my daughter…today she’s 20 and is back to being a total loving sweetheart. Hoping yours doesn’t last 6 years!! 
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Hey man, you good?
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Day 740. I got back from a trip yesterday and am prepping for a trip tomorrow which was pushed back a day due to a cold my Mom had. Now all my friends from the first trip are turning up sick.
Heres hoping I hit the sweet spot and avoid illness but a couch nap never hurts while I have the time. Tomorrow I will take a 4 day trip with my Mom. Whoever you pray to, please do so for me. I’m tired already.
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Checking in day 56. I had cravings yesterday but I am thankful I persevered. Feeling ok today. Arm seems a little better. Have a great sober week all!
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on March 1st I will be 2 years clean of self harm but I am struggling. 2 years is so much pressure that I just want to relapse to get it.over with. it’s always happened before it still feels inevitable. I’m in one of my lowest places. right now I know I’m not going to do anything and 99% chance I get to 2 years but I just have intrusive thoughts about breaking my.streak
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Day 565.
My first real SHIT day since I quit drinking!!
Haven’t posted much but this feels like the right thing to do right now. Get something off my chest.
No worries about picking up my DOC, that didn’t even cross my mind. Except for the part of me that said “No wonder people drink…”
Worse is over but I’m not going to recover from today instantly.
My mood is shot and I feel a little broken inside. I need to figure out how to turn this around and get rid of the negativity.
I’ll probably need to meditate a bit, go for a ride for sure tomorrow morning.
I have some time off coming up, that should help too.
Such is life, not always happy and sweet.
I can’t wait for that evening cup of tea and some good sleep tonight.
That’s all!
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Congratulations 
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Evening check in
2 years 13 days
Today was actually pretty good!! I am really proud of myself for following thru with the gym and eating well. Im really excited to hit the gym again tmrw. Glad my motivation is back 
Not much really happened today. Had an afternoon nap and cleaned up the kitchen. Thats about it. No urges to use today so thats good! I find that when i stick to my routine, i dont crave nearly as much.
Hope everyone enjoys their evening also! 
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Woot woot—Keep on keeping on! 
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That’s great! Glad you found the motivation to get to the gym. No urges or desires to use always makes the day better. Keep on keeping on!
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Checking in a little off kilter tonight.
My clock just ticked over to 16,000 hours sober. Coming up on 22 months sober. Just took the vacation of a lifetime and ive been back to reality for almost two weeks. Its fitting my mental health tanks. Its all good, when my mind goes low it humbles me. All i can do is hope for a better tomorrow.
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Checking in at the end of day 990.
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1725
It was a well filled four day mini vacation but today it’s back to work. My head’s still full of yesterday’s museum visit. I went to see the big Frans Hals exhibition who towards the end of his life in the 1660s painted very much like Van Gogh did 200 years later. But ended up really moved by a small exhibit showing portraits of Amsterdam schoolkids from the early 1980s.
I know most of them, not as friends, I found it as hard to make friend as I do now, but as the people that together with me filled the streets, the coffeeshops, the alternative bars and clubs back then. Smoking hash and weed like there was no tomorrow (quite literally). Doing dope and booze, 14, 15, 16 years old. Me shoplifting, stealing from my parents, selling my ass on occasion for some extra money. Memories that have come flooding back in the last couple of years.
Life’s not easier sober and clean. But much much better. I got the chance to process stuff, to work on it, to do something good with all I did and all that happened. One day at a time. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love.
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@just_laura Not weird at all – I totally think the moon / planets have so much to do with our moods and behavior. Love that number too! Grateful to see good things coming your way 
@acromouse 2 weeks YEAH - making some great progress with your timers friend. Sorry you are not feeling well. Sending healing vibes – hope you feel better soon.
@alejondra Hope all went well with your meeting today. 
@rookie Way to go with your 2 weeks 
keep up the great work 
@shel75 sorry that you are feeling sick and have to go into to work. Hoping your shift went by quickly and with ease.
@tragicfarinelli Way to go girl! 60 days and counting
@juli1 Great work on your sober time Jules – getting close to that 1 month milestone. Keep showing up for yourself and fighting for your sobriety. Moderation is not our friend – you are doing a wonderful job in with your 27 days! I do hope that you get a doctors opinion if you don’t feel better soon.
@chevy55 whats going on Nick? Hope you are alright
@sadmemequeen so great to see you checking in Megan! OMG- 2 years is huge and I can see how the milestone can be daunting. Treat it like any other day. You have been showing up for yourself each and every day and will continue to do so. We are right here with you my friend.
@caspio oh man I’m sorry for the shit day. Grateful that you handled it without your DOC. Hope you had a lovely cup of tea and sweet dreams. Tomorrow hopefully will be happier and brighter
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@apes2020 Way to go on your 1 week milestone!
@cjp 16000 hours WOW – love seeing this (approx. 22 months) – you are an inspiration CJ. I am sorry that your mind is playing with your mental health. Keep working on your recovery friend. I see you stacking on the days and getting stronger by the day
Checking in on Monday evening…
Grateful for my mom and the care i’m receiving in my recovery. It has not been easy by any means but grateful that i am in recovery.
Not much to report. I have been resting and working on my healing. No urges which is a blessing.
Wishing everyone a addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love 
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Checking in, day 56.
I haven’t posted on this thread in a very long time. Every night seems to be a struggle with me lately. I don’t have a desire to drink, but I have this overwhelming feeling of sadness. I seem to be ok during the day while I’m working, the evenings are the worst. My sleep is shit, but I never want to go to bed. (That’s an entirely different topic)
I feel like because I’ve relapsed so many times, some here have given up on me. I don’t mean that to sound dramatic, but I can’t think of a better way to say it. Sorry, it’s probably just me I’m disappointed with. Too many emotions 
I keep a positive mask on with everyone at work or come in contact with. I’ve been struggling, I want to get passed this feeling.
I really care about this community, and if I’m in and out, that’s just me. My sobriety is something I want to be good at. I want you to know, I would never even be 2 days sober without you. 
See you on the gratitude thread and pet threads. Take care.
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I can agree
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for sure strugling
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Maxy! I so rarely come to this thread, but I’m glad I caught your post. (Have had that tired all day but not tired now feeling. Familiar!)
First, I can’t speak for others but I’m gonna hazard a solid guess that nobody has given up on you. I certainly haven’t.
Second, the sadness. I understand that too! Especially where you’re at. 56 days is so good. There are probably some emotions that have been kept at bay for a while by the cycle of drinking. I sure had them. What helped me was relating to them differently - (a therapy suggestion). Maybe they just need their turn, a chance to have their voice? Can you trust that they won’t overtake you? They’ll come, like clouds on a sunny day, but they will leave, too, and the blue sky will still be there.
In time, things will level out. Some sadness, sure, but happiness too. And I can attest - this place is here for you and I on the cloudy days. 
Keep showing up, posting how you feel.
I believe in you. 
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