Had an awesome day. Work went really really well, my client is a blast. Then I went to a concert and had the time of my life.
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Day 865 AF
Sup, gang.
Not a whole lot going on today. Work and busy with the kids. Did some planks and push-ups. Gonna watch a show with the wifey and then call it a night.
Have a good day/night yāall. Take care.
ODAAT!
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99 sugar
55 UPF
2 overeating/binge
Iām on the edge of overeating every afternoon and evening now as my crazy hormonal cycle is taking itās hopefully last dive. I learned not to judge too harshly. As long as Iām not bingeing or āfog eatingā with no attention or awareness whatsoever Iām ok.
My kid stayed sick at home, but she is old enough now to spend most of her time with her hobbies. Iāll provide tea, meals and hugs.
The month is coming to an end and itās time for my monthly review. I really like this kind of getting closure on my stuff and setting up some direction for the future. Other then that a walk, yoga and a peaceful day.
Have a day of peace, kindness and freedom friends 
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Welcome back Sophia, good to hear from you again. Itās been a while.
Back on track 
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Iām here, Iām alive and Iām sober.
Day 1 according to the Timer, but Iād say Iām on day 1,5. (I think it counts over around midnight)
Thank you everyone for the warm welcome back and all of your great advices I got yesterday.
I had a limited amount of answers (3 like usual) so I couldnāt get back to everyone because of that.
But I really appreciate it, Iām glad to be back. And Iām really glad to se all of yāall again.
Nothing to report today either.
I worked myself to a burnout in December, so Iāve been home since then. Not going back to what I thought was my dream job as a preschool teacher. My boss was a jerk, my colleagues and the kids loved me. But my doctor and psychologist says that If Iām coming back to work, I need a job where I donāt work with humans in a caring way.
Their suggestion was working in a store, or doing something creative like becoming a florist or something therapeutic.
Iāll take their word for it, and aiming for writing something preferably a kids book, and trying to start a big commercial garden. Which has been my dream forever. I just havenāt got the courage to go for it before.
Besides that Iāve talked to my brother yesterday. We do talk multiple times a week. He said that he and his wifefriend (shirt for girlfriend-wife, they arenāt married, she doesnāt want to, but theyāve been together for about 10 years)
also is going to stop drinking because I inspired them.
It felt surreal, Iāve mostly seen my tries to stay sober as failures. My brother sees it as trial and error. I discovered a pattern that doesnāt work,tried to do something about it, which didnāt work, tried to find a way that didnāt work, and then got back to try it all again in a different way. All with great hope that Itāll work this time.
Never looked at it that way before, it feels like a comfortable approach. And Iām glad that I could inspire someone.
Wishing yāall a great day. 
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I hope you can get yourself out of the hole again buddy, you did it before!
There are two different voices in your head, listen to the good one.
We see you
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Day 250 or 9 months!
Working 8_ 4 today. Feeling like I am getting back on track.
Slept well. Which was a good feeling. Still waiting for the bug I have to clear. Weather is pretty poorā¦ I will make a coffeeā¦ Nine months is fab but I need to stay relaxed and keep reminding myself this isnāt a break from alcohol waiting for a relapse. The goal is a permanent one day at a day change.
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Almost midnight here, so time for a (hopefully) good sleep! Talk to you soon, my fellow sober trailblazers.
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Day 60, despite having a lot of emotional fluctuation I am still feeling fine. Iām having my sister visit who does not drink and I am having a great time with her. I am proud to get to 60 days, this is the longest I have ever gone.
Sending you all my best! Have a great day.
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37 days weed free 2031 days alcohol free.
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Good morning beautiful people! Checking in on day 90. I see lots of milestones posted within the last day, some with 1 day, some 30 days, some 60 days, some have months and some have years, congrats on your time! 
it put a big smile on my face and you all should be proud! busy day today and looking forward to it! All good things over here at the moment, so Iāll continue to ride that wave 
I hope everyone has the most amazing day!
and 
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Today is day 157 af. Have to go to the grocery sometime today. Going to my noon time meeting, called lunch bunch. I always feel so much better after.
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Day 106. Yesterday evening was good. Cleaned my bike well, did laundry and went to a 1 on 1 with my med therapist. Everything is going really good for the most part, I honestly havenāt really had any thought or anything of drinking or drugs. I feel happy for the most part, the other day was the first time in forever I had a sad feeling cross my mind. I know as days go Iāll figure something out to keep me occupied this summer. Work is going good this morning, getting some great compliments from the ICU staff and they are giving great reports to my supervisors. I even got a service star award yesterday which was pretty cool. Probably do a little shopping after work today. Much everyone thought this was cute. My daughter Addie drew a picture of me and her yesterday
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Hey all, checking in on day 1355. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Hi @Jules000,
First of all I just want to say you are doing such an amazing job being here, opening up and shining light on what goes on in your mind. She can be a bit of a crazy beast, and shes mighty powerfulā¦she can be a bit slow to change but the change is possibleā¦often we dont even see it, as we make our baby steps, until we glance back and it becomes more apparent how far we have come.
I do not have personal exp with sh, so i dont want to come off as I do or like I understand in that regard. But i can so openly relate to feelings of being unworthy, not belonging in the gpod spaces I find myself and sabatoging things. I can tell you 1 thingā¦I am 37 now, and those voices and behavipurs are far less then they were when I was 16 (didnt rwally know these feelings or thoughts were wrong/incorrect, and took them straight at face value). 20-24 - really started doing work around why i engaged with my addiction, and a bunch of those feelings you spoke of came up so loud and clearā¦25-30 - made some big & beautiful changes in my life, and actually found myself opening these beautiful doors and accepting GOOD things and opporunties that came into my life. 30 - had my first child and hit a real wall around all these feelings againā¦now I wont go into the last 3 yrs causes theres just been a whole shit ton of new trauma happen in my life but I will say this. Over this whole journey, I did the baby steps, I did the big steps, I made mistakes and hell even fell back into an old pattern to see if anything had changed (well, i can tell you what hadnt changed: a belief underneath that the bad thinfs that were happening to me and my family were some sort of curse or my fault for being a secretly shit person. AND engaginf in addiction did nothing to help me, INSTEAD it just helped me to reaffirm these beliefs).
I have started thinking of that part of me that sought out and ran with addiction as a part of me who deserves love. We learned at some point these core beliefs, and engaging in sh or any addiction helps us to confirm them and also our young self learned how to cope in this way. Perhaps this young self is full of fear, fear you will fail, fear you are unworthy and that others will see so along the way, so she says āmy dear you cannot handle this program, let me help the way I know how!ā. But you have that awareness nowā¦its not helping. The work cones around slowly chipping away at the awareness that you are worthy, you are beautiful stunning and wonderful. You deserve your dream, and however it turns out if you chip away at it it is not a failure. Things do not always work out in lifeā¦sometimes things we want slip past, opportubities dont pan out, etc. But as long as we give er the best go we can, even on days we dont feel great, its no failure no matter the outcome.
For me today I will say, I dont sabotage, I can see those thoughts for what they are and I feel a confidence in myself rhat is so real and solid unlike anything I have ever known. You WILL get there, slowly but surely. And you likely WILL go through things that rock your confidence and that old voice will creep back in againā¦that is only because life changes, big moments good & bad bring to the surface things we may have dealt with in one way before, but now we are in a new place and it requires a new healing or new perspective. The biggest parts of us never really go away, as much as we talking about letting go and āhealingāā¦it is not that our trauma leaves us or these hurt parts of self. But that we learn to love them, to care and nurture them so that they do not run the show. You got this lady, I believe in you & just keep checking here bc you have a whole community of people who know YOU ARE WORTHY, YOU ARE LOVED & YOU DESERVE THIS DREAM & SELF LOVE XO.
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I am such a mother this pic just made me want to cry. Adorbs & congrats on all those days Mike. Xo.
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Checking in 4 Days
feeling a little shame and tiredness today. Shame is coming from somethjng that happened last night and struggling with a ton of work. Tired because I have been doing a lot as well. I need to recharge and continue to do the things that are good for me. Trying to do what I can to love myself and my wife and family. One day at a time.
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Hey all,
I am fewling emotional today. Hubby and I found out we were pregnant, and though we had always wanted 3 children the last 3 years just took a lot from us. Both with mixed feelings, especially it not being planned as our other 3 babies were. Well, having a miscarriage and there is relief and also sadness and emotion. There is sometimes I great relief in knowing where you are at. I am very content with my two, and though the emotional side would love to have anofher baby and I rhink for some its also hard knowing you are not goinf to have any more, there is still emotion there. I wasnt going to share about this bc it seems so private and personal, but also i feel like it is so private and women go through so much to do with reproductive health and loss alone. I am taking the day to relax, though i dont feel well and maybe do a bit of self carw and lay in bed.
I have been thinking about how grateful i am to be sober. Losing my sister is still not something my brain is around, I realize this all the time. Like she is still there, in her apartment cooking food and listening to music. She is there somewhere and we just havent spoke in a long time. Im sitting in frojt of the fire, emotional as all hell.
I also feel like i am relueved the trial has been delayed. There are things that need to be packed away and dealt with first, and thus is an opportunity to do so. I know thisbis very hard onbthe witnesses, but I would also like for the trial to happen in the summer. It is my sisters season, and maybe theres something to that.
Goinf to paint my toes as it is deserpately needed and try my best not to spend the day cleaning the house. I am not someone who likes to be still, but there is something to be said for that.
Wishing you all a wonderful day
And if its a hard day, down day or just off day. Know this too shall pass, it always does xo. Sunny days wouldnt feel so special, if it wasnt for rain. Xo.
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