Day 170 cocaine Free
Day 52 Alcohol Free
Day 1 Ciggarette free
Hi all,
Checking in on this cold Thursday… Feeling tired today. Allowed.myself time to rest and not feel too quility about it. I know soon I won’t have these opportunities always! Paying attention to my body.(HALT)
Increasing my water intake and upping my fruits and vegetables. The desire to.nibble is strong especially now with me breaking up with ciggarettes for good. As I start the process of rebuilding and loving myself I dont want to harm and.destroy myself with unhealthy habits anymore! ODDAT!
Today started good. Still is. It’s just my friend called in a panic. Her client at work fell and got hurt. He’s in the hospital. Poor friend. She’s so upset. I hate to see her this way. I drove 30mins to see her and be there for her. She’s feeling a little better. I’m gonna stay even tho she’s at her second job I’m gonna make sure she’s OK and support her. This is when I have to learn that even tho I wanna be home watching TV and relaxing, my friend needs me and its about her rn not me. I love her too much to allow her to go through this alone.
Day 59, stressed today. I did not sleep well. I had a terrible thought occur to me last night and I worried myself something awful. I couldn’t just call and ask my loved one that I was concerned about, if they were doing something I felt could be very dangerous, even life threatening, because they don’t use regular cell service and are only reachable periodically when they have wifi to use WhatsApp. I did send a message to get clearer info on their plans and it seems they are not doing what I was so worried about. That is a huge relief! I told myself last night that I didnt have the facts and even if I did, I probably wouldn’t be able to talk them out of their plans. My mind can go to such dark places but I also have been through a lot. I sometimes feel as though I’m just waiting for something bad to happen and that’s a terrible feeling. I need to get some things done that will reduce my stress and hopefully will have a good night’s sleep tonight. Just typing these feelings out has my heart racing. I need to breathe. Sending healing to all of us.
You know what I just saw? Someone said they might need to check in twice…I was so happy to hear that, because I’m feeling that too! Like tragic F was saying in her post, someone I used to drink with is coming to visit tomorrow, and I’m nervous. So I’m going to keep my new self close to these threads! I like what I see. I’m making a decision to get through this sober. It’s less than 24 hours with an old friend and I feel antsy because it’s a test. I don’t have to be all cocky and confident at 5 weeks, right? I’m going to make a plan and maybe go on over to the ‘What’s your plan?’ Thread and talk too.
I’ve been very isolated lately during my first 5 weeks so that is a factor. So glad to have a safe place to get better all around. I know I’ll learn and grow here. Is it ok to take 2 baths in one day? Might as well if I’m posting twice! When it’s cold and gloomy, and I’m feeling off I love a hot bath. I got out for a short hike in the woods. I’ll try a little calming now.
2 years 16 days
I am feeling incredibly alone right now. I just got off the phone with an organization that supports kids with cancer. I thought i would try to sign us up with the program so that we as a family can meet other families that are going thru a similar thing. Id love for my son to meet other kiddos going thru tough times too. And here they tell me that we may not be accepted into the program bcuz my sons brain tumor isnt malignant. We were in the hospital for 6 months straight dealing with this diagnosis. He had to undergo years of chemotherapy and multiple surgeries to improve his quality of life. And here they are telling me that we may not be able to get support? This organization does amazing things! Lots of support for the child and the family. And i feel like we were shunned. Im hurting inside. I actually cried over this. Bcuz being a medical parent is HARD. And im struggling to find others who are going thru similar things (doesnt even have to be cancer related, just in having a kiddo with complex needs). Im hurting and grieving over the things that could have been for my son. I feel alone. I feel tired. I feel like this medical journey has isolated me and my family. I know i have medical ptsd bcuz of everything my son went thru (as im sure he does too).
I went on facebook this afternoon and tried to join a few support groups for parents who have a child with a brain tumor. Just waiting to see if i get accepted. I have recently been trying to get more involved with a group for moms who have a child with cancer. Its a support group for moms and they have this weekend get away in april thats just for the moms and id love to go but i cant bcuz my son needs me. Im really feeling down right now
Check in as many times as u like theres no set limit. I just posted my 2nd check in (sometimes i check in 3 or 4 times lol) cuz we all know that the day can change in an instant lol i also am a huge fan of hot baths and showers. I have at least 1 a day, sometimes 2. Its a self care thing. Im glad ur staying strong and close to the threads. They do help!
I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how isolating that can feel. I hope these Facebook groups accept you and you can find some families that relate. I can’t relate exactly but I am always here if you need a friend. My heart hurt reading your post
Yes!… stay close to these threads, there is always someone around to bounce your thoughts off of. We get lucky having all time zones on here… no matter the time of day it’s comforting knowing theres someone available.
@mindofsobermike Love the LOL’s May be good to meet sober friends at meetings that you can hang out with afterwards OMG – I love that picture Mike @krissymae way to go with your 30 days! Glad you listed to that podcast when needed. The milestones can be tricky and make us think that have this beast controlled but we do have to remember that even just 1 drink will be fatal for our sobriety. Keep going strong @juli1 Nicely done Jules – 30 days and feeling stable in your sobriety! Lots of positive things happening for you – keep that streak going strong @timetochange 9 months!!! WOOT WOOT! This is amazing work friend – keep it going strong @shybert 60 days! Way to go Joseph Definitely something to be proud of. @iamthechange 90 days (3 months) way to go Ami! Great to see you doing so well my friend. @jimz Way to go with your 60 days James. Grateful to see you enjoying your sober journey! @mira_d Oh I’m so sorry for what you are going through my friend. I can imagine this being an emotional time and I’m sure your body is also going through many stages. The female reproductive systems is forever a mystery and a pain in the ass. I am sending you comforting hugs and loads of love. DO hope you get to practice lots of self care and take time to rest @tifflynn07 60 days!!! I do love how you have added a goal per month as well – 2024 is a year of many productive changes! Way to keep showing up for yourself @tragicfarinelli glad you came here with your mental struggles my friend. I know that the inner demon can be strong. It can be hard to ignore and so much easier to give in when you have company willing to partake with you. Glad that your sister is ok with a drink free zone. Keep us in your pocket, have plenty of non alcoholic options on the ready. Maybe make some mocktails to keep things fun and hopefully you won’t miss the actual alcohol. Sending you strength my friend. You are doing great with 63 days of sobriety
Hey @Matt, how are you doing friend? I was in financial ruin last year. It was the hardest thing I’ve done in sobriety. But you know what I learned? I can do hard things sober and so can you! You will get through this will the help of everyone here and your sponsor. Sending you positive vibes. My inbox is always open if you wanna chat.
I am sleeping much better. My husband is drinking all day. He is never mean but I think he is missing his drinking buddy and he is just waiting for me to fail. I have yet to hear from him that he is proud of me. This is hard because he had a liver biopsy and has level 4 cirrhosis and was told to stop drinking. He is only 57. WTF.
Hi Dana,
I’m so sorry to read that and how you must feel. I agree with you, why would they not accept your little man into the program if it would help him and others. Maybe they’ll do the right thing. If not, you’ll find something better. Miss you Sending many hugs
@maxwell you are a strong woman Maxine. Doing great work at the cusp of your 2 month milestone! I am grateful that you were able to grieve Riley’s loss with your son. Much love to you my friend. You are not alone @rosacando So grateful that you are doing better today. My goodness that was a hell of a day and I’m sorry that you experienced such a triggering panic attack. I am grateful that you will be able to park upfront from now on and avoid the alley. Great job on not leaning to any temporary relief. @k_s Way to go with 70 days Kenny! Glad that your mood turned around on you – keep going strong @matt Sorry that you are struggling friend. We are here – talk to us. Do get in touch with group, friends and your sponsor – the more support the better. You are not alone in this and will get through this patch too. Sending strength @happy_trails I do hope you are resting now and breathing easy. It can’t be easy when you are worried about a loved one and can’t communicate. Hoping your anxiety eases up and you will get a good nights rest. Waking up to 60 days of sobriety! @lighter Glad you are here with us Marie. Yes, definitely check in as many times as needed. I also spent a lot of time reading through the many threads in my early days and on my off days now to help keep me on the sober track. Very smart to have a plan for when your friend visits. With our addiction, we are always on guard and should have a plan on how to protect our sobriety. Keeping us in your pocket may also be helpful. This site is active day / night so someone is always around to listen and help. Hope you did get in that 2nd hot bath – self care is so important in our sober journey! @butterflymoonwoman Big hugs my friend. I am so very sorry for all that you are going through and very disheartened to hear about this organization not accepting you. The reasoning doesn’t seem sound – are you able to challenge it? I do hope you get some support systems in place through Facebook or other cancer support groups I know I can’t relate with what you are going through but am here for you whatever you need @rookie Way to go with your 17 days of sobriety. It can’t be easy when you partner is in active addiction. We can only address our own addiction and hope that our loved ones will see the positive changes and follow suit. A thread that you might find useful - Are you affected by a loved one who’s an addict?
Checking in on Thursday night
435 days free of alcohol and cigarettes
850 days free of weed
Been a bit more active today. Still in a lot of pain and drowsy (not sure why so drowsy). Glad i can sleep and rest. Can’t believe it’s been a week today since my surgery (totally felt like it was just a few days ago). Not much to report. Haven’t even had the slightest urge for any of my DOC’s which is great.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love
Maxine, I can relate, and that sounds like a great way to start- damage control with the most expensive item, and not feeling too badly. You’re aware of what’s happening and already you’re taking action.
Thank you for sharing . It’s hard for me not to want novelty or that feeling that the item will change my feelings. I think I want new things when I don’t want to sit with unpleasant feelings about something here and now, that isn’t new and that is unresolved.
It’s really awesome that you made it to 2 months! Nice meeting you and take care.
Jasmine, your responses are always so thoughtful, caring and heartfelt. Thank you my friend. I am still worried but relying on faith that my loved one will be safe. See you on the other side of 60 days. Xo
When it’s cold and gloomy, and I’m feeling off I love a hot bath. I got out for a short hike in the woods. I’ll try a little calming now.
theres no set limit. I just posted my 2nd check in (sometimes i check in 3 or 4 times lol) cuz we all know that the day can change in an instant lol i also am a huge fan of hot baths and showers. I have at least 1 a day, sometimes 2. Its a self care thing. Im glad ur staying strong and close to the threads. They do help!
OMG – I love that picture Mike 
Sending many hugs 
I know I can’t relate with what you are going through but am here for you whatever you need