Day 55, my namesake day.
Hitting legs today, prepping for wife’s departure.
Best wishes all.
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Thank you for your nice replies, @Cjp, @Tragicfarinelli, @Jasty2 , @Mno @JazzyS, @Dan531, @CATMANCAM, @Alisa and @Misokatsu!
Another sober year has started. 
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Thank you! Yeah I’ll try and figure out an emergency line.
I will also for sure lay ground rules and plan some activities that are positive and good endorphins.
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Day 59
Boy do I need to check in. Woke up this morning feeling hungover. I called in sick at work because my mind is all over the place lately, I can’t focus.
I’ve been ‘sober’ online shopping big time. Not stuff I need, things I think will make me happy. I’m not sad, but I do think I’m trying to fill a void. Today is the day I reset my online shopping timer, it’s out of control.
When you live alone, there’s no one to pull you off the ceiling. If that makes sense. This morning was also the first time I thought of drinking, why not, I have the day off. 
(That’s supposed to be a Stop sign)
So I figured I’d come here first. I need to get back in check, and no more buying, damn you Amazon and now Etsy!
I’m going to relax and try to do things around the house, take care of me and Buddy 
Alex 
ugh, I originally wrote Riley 
When I saw my son last weekend, I finally got to tell someone how awful it was losing her. I know it’s been bothering me.
That’s it for now, may have to stop back later.
xoxo
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I’m here and I’m okay. I was not okay yesterday. I tried to ignore some feelings, didn’t work out well for me and I paid the price. I have a trauma history that involves sexual assault in an alley and now I have to park in an alley parking lot behind the building I work in. I’ve caught a guy rifling through my car twice since I started working. Unfortunately my car wasn’t locking properly (my husband has since fixed that) and only loose change was taken, but happening upon that was a pretty big trigger for me, to have to say “um, can I help you?” He responded “oh, I thought this was my buddy’s car,” well two different cars two days in a row? I forgot to lock my newer car the first day. He shut the door and walked away fast the first time. Anyway, yesterday I hesitated and finally said something and that’s when he claimed it was his buddy’s car. It was a short interaction and he walked away. I thought I was tougher than this but I was headed to a hair appointment and parked the car a block away and started walking. I promptly got lost. This is not a big downtown area but I don’t have a lot of experience here. I got myself thoroughly lost, couldn’t find my car, was so disoriented I couldn’t even use my phone to figure anything out. Massive panic attack. It was freezing out, 29 F and I couldn’t even zip up my jacket. Totally lost and lost in my brain. I sat on the curb and tried all my tools, tried breathing, finally called my husband and he came and found me. I could barely give him cross streets. So freaked out. Then we drove around trying to find the car. Finally found it and I was parked in a handicapped reserved spot. What a freaking day. It has been a looooooong time since I’ve had this level of panic attack and it scares me! My husband mentioned that for now I can park out front because it’s pocket change for the meter, no big deal. I will try that for now. What I will not do is drink about this. I used to drink to manage my panic and anxiety and of course it’s only a temporary relief, alcohol just compounds and make anxiety worse. I’m so glad that I can have moments like this and not feel like I need to numb myself completely. It’s not a long term solution. I will find my way through this without alcohol. It feels good to post this here, too. Had to get it out somehow.
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Thinking of you, my friend!
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11 days sober, 11 days of meetings 
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Sorry this happened. Hopefully not again…
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Checking in 70 Days AF. I woke up this morning, kinda in a mood. Didn’t know if it’s the cooler weather with cloudy skies or what. (I’m from Louisiana, so I’m use to the heat, I absolutely hate cold weather—I know I’m weird) I thought it was gonna be “one of those days” you know “just blah” that we all have from time to time, but then My wife and I met up for lunch, and i miraculously just started feeling better and in better spirits. I guess I was just missing her. I Hope everyone has a great day. & keep on keeping on! 
Congrats @Button83 on 11 days
Congrats @KrissyMae & @Juli1 on 30
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Nice work Kenny. Keep on travelling’ that positive highway!
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This post really spoke to me. Thank you!
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2 years 16 days
Been an insanely busy morning. Got my son on the bus and then rushed to the gym. Had a good workout. Went and ran an errand afterwards, grabbed a sub for lunch, and came home to take a phone call. Now to do lundry and dishes lol ugh it never ends haha My husband got his tax refund today also and id be lying if i said i didnt have a few thoughts of using. But not today. I love my life clean and sober Hope everyone enjoys their day! Congratulations to those who have reached a milestone today!
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I think I maybe tried to watch the mini series years ago. Or maybe I’ve just seen bits of it. I actually went on a hunt through the bookshelf to find shogun and found I’ve got another Clavell book Tai-pan, which I don’t think I’ve read. They’re both quite long books so I probably decided to get to it later and then forgot all about it.
Anyway, the first 2 episodes of the new series are good. Bit of a slow burner, but thats to be expected given the style
Edit to add: @Mno read 30 pages of Tai-pan last night and realised I have read it haha. Can’t remember how it plays out so may just persist with it until I can find a 2nd hand copy of some of Clavells other novels. Its loosely a series of novels I think.
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Checking in day 59 AF 
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Thank you so much Lauren! How are you doing? Thinking about you 
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Checking in. Today’s therapy session was really good (as they usually are), it was a bit exhausting and gave me a lot to think about. Otherwise it was a lazy day, but that’s ok, because I’m going to get a bunch of work soon, so next month will be full again. I rarely do this kind of job that I just took, but I like it a lot, it’s refreshing and creative and at least it gives me a chance to learn how much income I can have if I work with full schedule and I can check out which clients can give me tasks more regularly.
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Hi all, I feel tired. I’m struggling. I’m struggling to see a way through a financial challenge I’m in right now. I’m also in a struggle to stay sober. The two are related I am sure.
I am still in touch with my sponsor and my friends from group. I think I need to dig into this more deeply.
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Sorry for the circumstances but good to see you checking in Matt. Back to basics friend. One day at a time. Hang in there.
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Hi Matt,
I can relate to what your feeling. I have been dealing with some financial challenges lately that have been very overwhelming. I tackled one thing at a time, used my resources and made sure too check in here and.continue to put my recovery first. Praying that your circumstances work out soon. All the best!
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