Aaaah, I know they can be very socialized. If that’s a good thing I don’t know 
Around Amsterdam there’s a place called Amsterdamse waterleiding duinen and there are a lot of tame foxes as well. People give them food and make beautiful pictures with those foxes close by.
But you aren’t feeding it, so enjoy! It are such beautiful creatures! 
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Day 71… checking in
It’s cold here today but supposed to warm up a little later
Have a wonderful day all 
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I’m checking in on day 244, my eight month mark is within sight!
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Well one thing seems to be going in the good direction: you’re still sober! 
If you are a bit like me you want it all and you want it yesterday. Familiair? Give it time. For me things started to change after 3 months ore so sober. And for sleeping it even took some more time. Your body and mind has to find a new balance.
Your weight? Just a question: do you have a scale that weights fat and muscles seperatly? Because if you gain muscles by training you gain weight as well and muscles are more weight then the fat you loose. Maybe that’s the case?
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Fuckkkkkkkkk fuckkkk fuckkkk. Man you know sometimes you just gotta say it. Walk out to my bike, tires flat. Im like son of a gun well ok w.e the bike shop isnt far so i walk up. Walk in and guy meets me at the door, snotty as fuck from the start. Hes a totally different guy then im used to. But im like hey can i get my tire changed, hes like yup let me see if i have a tire, he does so im like sweet lets do it. Hes like alright yeah its gonna be a hour or so go do w.e and will let you know when its ready. Clearly can see my eye is fuckdd up, its freezing out and no stores around. And my house is about 8 miles. So i politely ask hey can i hang out here, hes like no man just rude as fuck i dont know what to tell you we dont let people just hang out in our store. Im like dude im buying a product from you and hes like idk what to tell you so im like ok and this girl walks up checks me out and im like you know he could of had a better tone i said im paying for something why cant i just sit ok the couch and she just smiled and said nothing. I didnt get mad i was just shocked, last time the guys had no issue with me waiting. All i know is im going to pay after this and they will never have my business again. Fucking eh is what it is.
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Day 2 checking in. 10am time to wake up out of bed and get ready for the day.
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Indi please. Your f*cking life is literally on the line. What’s a little bit of embarrassment against your life friend? Please listen to your support worker that you love and that loves you I am sure. This is it girl. Life or death. Lots of love right back to you.
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Sorry about that Mike. That’s bloody rude. It might be an idea (not right now of course) to at some point in time learn how to fix flat tries? It’s not that hard, will save you lots of money and makes you less dependent on shitty bike shops. Hope your day gets better friend.
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Oh i know how lol dont have the tools. Buying them as soon as i leave and well idk even from where i was maui was closer then home. And i promise that wasnt a sarcastic like oh i know how lol. But just like yeah im definitely on getting the tools, tire and pump and carrying them in my bag. At lunch, a nice couple just paid for my meal. They could tell i was upset. It made me smile
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Day 518
Ever since I can remember, I have always wanted to die or at least thought I would. I’ve always felt like something was wrong with me and I didn’t deserve to live. Or when I wasn’t feeling that, I felt so unsafe that I figured I’d be killed so why even hope for life.
Things have changed, and my life looks very different. I want to stay around and raise my kids. Give them a good foundation for when they move out and make their own ways in the world.
I just hope I’m there to see them grow up. Clean and sober. I need another decade at least. And I won’t make it if I am not sober.
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Im glad you have a better outlook on life now. Keep stacking the days!!!
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100%, and thank you for this. The realism is the kick up the arse I need. I might ask my family to ask the shops not to serve me in the meantime, just so I know it’s happened, then I’ll go in and reaffirm it myself.
Might be better to do it with someone than by myself.
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This right here is golden. You’ve been through so much and worked your butt off to come so far, it’s been an honor to be there along the way for pieces of the journey. So grateful to be on this path with you and everyone here. 
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Thank you. Indeed it might be better not to go and do it alone. ‘We’re in this together’ is not a hollow phrase, quite the opposite.
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Day 52. I’ve been stressed out about life to an extreme degree lately. I had a productive morning with getting my little girl off to daycare and work, but then the to-do list for this week hit me like a ton of bricks on my lunch.
I’m cutting back on my coffee intake (none so far today), as I’m sure it’s not helping me with the anxiety.
Deep breaths and staying calm. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
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Stay strong. . You can do it.
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Day 13 . Happy Monday all. Just returned home from my AA Meeting. When I walked into meeting a conversation among the group was about JOY, Joy seems to have grown a very long beard and gained a lot of weight recently. She has been diagnosed with CUSHINGS DISEASE. I suddenly thought “wow” I have put weight on and I have to actually shave my chin almost every day, maybe I have CUSHINGS. Come to find out JOY is a horse. 
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Checking in day 70 
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Been planning my pottery salt pig today which I might start tomorrow, either that or a mini room I have.
Happy sober 24. I’m chasing that 100 days!
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Random acts of kindness from the universe. Love it. I really hope you day gets better Mike, glad you came on here and let it out. Rise above the ignorance you did! Blessings my friend 
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