63 AF
181 doc free
Hey all. Checking in on Monday afternoon. Hope everyone is doing good. Im taking it easy today. Feeling okay. Have had a headache for the past few days. Need to up my water intake and meditate when I feel the familiar pattern of past regret and resentment.
Hope everyone has a wonderful day. Stay strong.
Checking in another day sober. Didnāt check in over the weekend, kinda took a break from my phone. Got a lot accomplished over the weekend and also had some time to relax and have some fun. Back to work today. I have a lot on my schedule for the next couple of weeks. Im trying to take it one day at a time and follow my daily schedule without looking ahead and getting stressed out and anxious. It will all work out and get done if i stick to my plan.
I decided im done vaping. Not going to buy anymore pods. Itās expensive, not good for me and i just need to quit. I actually quit smoking back in 2018. Started again in 2020 due to a bad work situation i put myself in trying to help out the company i work for during the beginning of the pandemic. I quit again about a year later and then started vaping. I wish i had never started. It seems more addictive than smoking. Iāll probably run out this evening, so the next couple of days will be hard. Any advice? Im sure Iāll be stuffing my face with junk food the first couple days.
Hope everyone is having a great day.
Day 41 evening checkin
I set a boundary today with a lil lie. To a man who IS a complete lie and I donāt want to be in contact anymore!
I didnāt answer his last message 5 weeks ago, asking for a training date. Today he texted again.
My answer was not a full lie, but just half way true. I thought he would shut up but he asked about a detail. (all texting)
Blah.
Non sense.
Hope my love frequency is changing faster. Lol.
He filled up my system with such a toxic stress level that I had 2 very unusual inflammations last summer. No. Simply NO!
Needed to get that off my chest.
Thanks 
Thanks for your share. I resonate. I too have felt like not being here would be easier at times. I am so thankful you are encouraged now and see the blessings that life has to offer. I too want to do the same for my children. Giving them a good foundation as you spoke about. Life does and is better when we are sober and clean.
Itās a pleasure being on this journey of recovery with you. You have been an inspiration. Keep striving.
Day 701 AF
Reading everyoneās messages as always before going to bed.
I need to get better at writing here and also try harder at building connections.
One step at a time
Thanks
@Mindofsobermike these random acts of kindness make the world a better place, I am sure that gentleman and his loved ones are very grateful for your gesture š©µ Iām sorry about your eye, I hope it heals quickly 
Damn man, Iām sorry about the rudeness of the bike shop guy, donāt let that dull your shine 
Iām glad you experienced some kindness too though 
@Shawn1991 congrats on 70+ days 
@MrFantastik congrats on triple digits 
@Hidden congrats on 70 days
@Lighter congrats on double digits I hope you got some sleep 
@Tyrievip welcome congrats on day 4
@Lile01 welcome back it sounds like things have been rough for you. Sending you strength to fight this with all youāve got 
š©µ
@Techpro92 welcome back sorry about the dreams/nightmares, itās the same for me, solidarity š©µ Congrats on day 3
@Danez @Izzyfree76 welcome to you both
@Maestro heal well š©µ
@PositiveThoughts do those to-dos one at a time, sending calming vibes 
@Seizetheday congrats on 70 days
@Teresa.13 congrats on 700+ days
1309 days no alcohol.
774 days no cocaine.
289 days no vape.
34 days no binge-eating.
Today was stressful. A very creepy guy was standing way too close to me in Starbucks, and as I moved a bit further away, my phone slipped out of my hands and despite my very robust case, smashed in the bottom right corner. It worked for all of 10mins then stopped responding completely. Then it was time for therapy.
Therapy didnāt feel very, well, theraputic today. We spoke about the weather for a while. 
Then I mentioned that I visited my Mumās grave, then family afterwards yesterday, and she asked me how I felt. I said I did feel the urge to numb when I got home but I didnāt (binge). Then she asked how I felt today and I didnāt know, so she asked if I felt numb, and I said yes. Then we spoke about my anxiety about going for walks, again, and I said Iād spoken to my doctor about how depressed Iāve been feeling too, and that one of my meds doses has been increased. There were a lot of awkward pauses that I felt compelled to fill so I spoke about my phone situation. 
Oh and a situation I have with Safe Soulmates wanting me to attend a fortnightly Tuesday evening group, an hours train journey away, where I wouldnāt get home until 10:30pm, and all for the sake of attending for one hour (itās on for 2hrs but Iād have to leave halfway through to get back to the station in time to catch the last direct train home). Iām struggling to say a direct no, and they are finding solutions to my reasons not to go.
So my phoneā¦long story short I had to pay Ā£315 for a new screen & case, the screen was Ā£290, the case Ā£25. I did only have to wait an hour though, so I went and bought some healthy lunch stuff and sat outside to eat it. At first I couldnāt think what on Earth to do with myself without my phone for a whole hour, so I initially went to get another Starbucks and sat in there, but then my brain started functioning and suggested lunch.
Tomorrow I have some online courses to attend. One is about decluttering and hoarding, the advice part. The other is some mindfulness exercises. I may not attend the second one if I get stuck in the lobby like I have been doing, because that interferes with the session for everyone else.
Tomorrow is a brand new day!
š©µ
2 years 27 days
I havent posted anything in 3 days which is unusual for me. I have been reading tho and catching up on whats happening in everyones lives. Im incredibly proud of all of you! For every one of us that is fighting for a better life
I have been on an emotional rollercoaster these past few days. Just feeling āoffā. Theres just been alot of highs and lows and everything in between. Ive been experiencing some resentment towards another personā¦ maybe its not even resentmentā¦ its just that this particular woman irritates me and i dont know why. Maybe theres a bit of jealousy there or something. Havent been able to figure it yet. But im allowing her to unknowingly have power over me and that in itself pisses me off.
My son is not feeling well and so hes home today from school. Hss been getting sick so often lately and its bothering me to see him unwell so often. Plus the medication that he has recieved for his previous illnesses were quite expensive ($200, $200, and then $563) and so im praying that he doesnt need an expensive med this time. Obviously ill pay whatever it costs for him to feel better, but it would be nice if it didnt cost an arm and a leg ya know?
Ive been going thru some internal stuff - reliving my past in a sense. Have had some dreams and some thoughts during the day of my past as a sex trade worker. Im trying to see what this means and if it means for me to further address some issues. I think what caused these thoughts was bcuz of a friend of mine back home who was recently evicted from her place bcuz she couldnt pay the rent. She chose to stop āworkingā awhile back bcuz her heart was telling her to not do it anymore. And bcuz she couldnt pay the rent, she is now homeless and living in a tent by the side of the river. Of course im worried for her. That province is known for its incredibly cold winters but its just not safe. It made me beyond grateful to be where i am honestly but it also brought back memories of when i first moved to the province Im in now. I was running out of money, couldnt find a legit job quick enough, and I felt like I had no choice but to start up my ābusinessā again. Thankfully God intervened and a man came into my life (who is now my husband) and helped me to get out of the toxic environment i was in and gave me enough time for me to get a legit job. I havent āworkedā since. But manā¦ what if i had no money. What if i got evicted and had to live on the streets here, in a province where I knew no one. Its brought up alot for me and alot of concern for my friend.
What elseā¦ i have had some thoughts of using my DOC. The weather is a trigger for me 
The weather gets nicer and I want to use, how messed up is that? But i constnrly play that tape to the end and remind myself how BADLY i wanted to quit over 2 years ago when i hit that rock bottom. I think the most common lie that my addict brain tells me is that I can do it one time and it will be different. Thats the lie i hear most often. But that one time, could literally be my last time. We all have a clean date, its just some of ours are written on tombstones. I dont want my clean date to be on my tombstone. This literally is life or death and relapse isnt an option. I know i can get thru anything clean and sober. And im always, ALWAYS grateful the next morning when i wake up clear headed and rested.
Anyway, as u can probably tell, ive been in my head the last few days. Im sorry this is sooo long but i just need to connect and get my thoughts out. Hope youre all doing well! Much love to each and every one of u 
Checking in. Itās still new to me not to smoke during the day, so Iām just learning how it effects me. Well, itās really not easy. I had withdrawal symptomes throughout the afternoon, felt physically sick and restless. Then I became so sleepy that I fell asleep at six pm. But I pushed it through and thatās good. My evenings are better and more peaceful, I go to bed earlier and read a lot. Beforehand I used to smoke a lot right before going to bed and always woke up feeling tired. So I do see the positive side, but at the same time itās like losing the last thing I can cling onto, the last thing I can trust that is there for me. I know thatās not true, but the feeling is there anyway.
@shawn1991 Great work on 70+ days! Hope the exercise and change in focus help with the flat feeling 
Keep it stacking up the days! 
@mrfantastik Way to go with your triple digits friend Great to be sober and make the most of last minute opportunities. Wishing you the best in your work to become a trainer 
@mindofsobermike Oh man Iām sorry Mike- Iāve never had pink eye but can imagine the painful and uncomfortableness of it. Hoping you can get the correct antibiotics and heal up soon. Sending you many soothing and healing vibes my friend.
@goku2019 great work on shooing that sensation ā no cold ones here! Glad you and your wife got some alone down time. YEAH to getting your tax return and paying off some debt ā onwards my friend
@hidden Way to go with your 70 days of sobriety. I love this post and love that you are doing so well in your journey!
@lighter WOOT WOOT ā way to go Marie double digits. Sleep is tricky business at the start of sobriety. Keep at it my friend ā the sleep will adjust itself
@chevy55 Way to go with 66 days Nick! Sorry for the struggles my friend. Have you had your blood work done for vitamin deficiencies? Keep living your healthy lifestyle ā Iām sure things will work out in time ā I know its hard to keep pushing forward when you are not seeing results. I know healthy eating and exercising are good for your body and soul. Do hope you are able to see and feel the benefits soon
@tyrievip Welcome to the community Emma and a great job on day 4! Great work on finding a way to fight the urges. I too find this community (reading and writing here) helps me immensely when I am fighting urges. Keep leaning onus and stacking up the days!
@lile01 oh lovely friend ā so great to see you checking in here on your day 1 friend! Much love and strength to you Indi. Great plans and strategies set ā you are stronger than this addiction and no shame in doing what you need to protect your sobriety. Standing by you and rooting for you on your journey Smart to have someone go with you to tell the shops not to serve you so you donāt end up getting temptedā¦ this is a great step girl -super proud
@techpro92 great to see you checking in and working on your sobriety with 3 days friend. Keep it going strong
Checking in day 28ā¦
Had an eight hour road tripā¦ the hubby drove and I had my head in my iPad because his driving makes me nervous. (Just not my style). We got home safely with the two pups. Looking forward to a great week of weather and more learning. Hope everyone has a good evening or morning, wherever you are.
@maestro Sending you healing vibes ā hope for a quick and painless recovery. Looking forward to celebrating 500 days with you soon.
@pattycake so excited girl ā this should be 8 months -no? You are kicking ass and I do appreciate you and your support. 
Keep stacking up the sober days!
@scorpn OMG how lovely to read this and am so happy to see you finding a zest and willingness to live. Much love to you Renee
@positivethoughts Great work on your sober time friend. that no caffeine can definitely cause anxiety. Take it easy and one task at a time ā maybe prioritize the to do list and give yourself slack if you donāt get it all done. Being sober and taking care of your baby girl is a great daily achievement!
@seizetheday 70 days is amazing work ā keep it going strong my friend
@shel75 a electronic break on the weekend sometimes is an amazing way to recharge. Way to go with no vaping ā sending you luck and strength!
@juli1 So happy to hear that you put up this boundary and are sticking to it! Great work Jules ā Hell nah to that toxicity! You are kicking ass with 41 days
@teresa.13 700+ days of sobriety ā way to go friend ā keep it going
@catmancam oh man that does sound like a stressful day ā sorry Cam. Hoping for a easier week ahead
@butterflymoonwoman Lovely to hear from you Dana ā you have been missed my friend. I am sorry that you have been struggling for the past few days. Grateful that you are maintaining your sobriety and finding a way to reconnect as I know the loss of connection can cause a imbalance within us. Sending healing vibes to your son. Here for you Dana ā hope you feel better after posting today
@tomek I found that I slept a lot whenever I gave up smoking. It also happened when I gave up drinking. I did find for me that even when I cut down I was feeling tired so I figured it would be best to just give it up all for good. Sending you strength in removing this monkey from your back.
Checking in on Monday night
446 days free of alcohol and weed
861 days free of cigarettes
WOW - just saw this today and am impressed that iāve been active daily in this community for a whole yearā¦ so much love my sober peeps. So grateful for each and everyone of you.
Grateful that my incisions are healing well. Still some issues with healing but will monitor and see if a CT scan is needed in a few days.
Has been a great sunny day. Supposed to be 60+ degrees tomorrow so thats exciting. I do feel like spring is withing our grasp.
I did have a wish to drink today but not a intense urge so iām grateful for that. It passed as soon as it came thanks. Grateful i was able to log into the site and read and overcome the urge.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love
Best wishes to you on your day, and stacking those days together!
Home exchange programs are where people join a site that helps facilitate it and you exchange homes with others. Its pretty straightforward and theres are rules, etc in place for things like cancellations and damages. You also accumulate points on the system we are with as well, so if you had someone stay in your home vs doing an exchange, you get points that you can then use towards staying at someone elses place. It is more common praxtice in EU where my husband grew up and this was how he travelled as a child. He has always wanted us to do it, and this is the first time we are gettinf to do it now with our family home 
So far so good!
Best to you
Haha you are fine! Iāve been keeping my eye on you kiddo and Iām glad youāre always moving in the right direction Iām trying to be better about checking in here. Especially, since I canāt go to therapy or anything for a hot minute. How are the girls and the tattooing going?
Just wanting to check it. Pretty tired here. Its so nice having our own space, so i am so grateful for this while on our visit. Its apparent my mom is struggling, so she should be we have been through so much and she is consumed with carinf for her grandson. Had a meeting with CPS today, and we have to move forward. More meetings coming. It has consumed a lot of me for the past 2 years, and speaking to my husband about that as well. I have expressed hwo my efforts and energy will always now be divided in some way to my nephew, but it has been very consuming in a way thats difficult to explain. Seeking balance.
Working on rwsentmenrs as well, and trust beyond myself. Workinf on being okay, and givinf grace to others too.
Tired now dear Friends. Wish you all a beautiful night & a good rest for the day ahead tomorrow. Xo.
Day 73. A book I was reading today has, āBegin with a learning mind set, and open your heart.ā
My book reading tidbits make me get through the day. Staying sober is not difficult, lately. I have a true appreciation for why I find so much different. Itās hard to keep the past a good thing. That said, an alternate choice is a poor selection.
Wow congratulations on ur badge!! Thats really impressive and i really appreciate ur devotion and contribution to this forum. U have always made me feel heard and supported friend. Thank you for that! Grateful to hear that ur incisions are healing. Hope they continue to heal quickly. Hope ur night is good my friend
Best way to experience your sobriety journey. Way to go. Keep up the good work.
I still think you live in TS VIRTUAL WORLD. Congratulations on DEVOTEE BADGE. 
