Thank you for your input and perspective here. It’s always good to hear how other people think. Sometimes it’s hard to see other nuances when you’re in the middle of something.
He didn’t respond to that providing me with his bank details. So I don’t know
how he’s thinking. I didn’t borrow much, and I absolutely had the intention of paying back. But haven’t been in a hurry about it since he said he didn’t need them. Apparently he does now, or as you say he grabs every straw to keep contact despite us agreeing not to.
I do get his perspective as well, we’ve been friends for about 20 years. But the last year’s haven’t been good for either one of us. Constant Fighting, Constant misunderstanding, him constantly trying to convince me that he’s a better choice than my husband (I’ve been married 15 years)
And his girlfriend not knowing that we have contact at all, because she’s jealous.
I don’t want it, and I don’t want that constant chaos. Unfortunately he refuse to accept that.
Regarding you and that lady though, I probably wouldn’t have kept that relationship up either. It seems very much one sided, and almost a little like she’s using you, if she’s just borrowing money, venting and ghosting. Unless you’ve agreed on something else.
Thanks Steve, I appreciate your thoughts and insights. I’m going to be aware of the potential and ensure I try and stay on the right side of the line, lol. I’m giving myself occasional cheat and rest days, so I’ll take that as a good sign.
As for ramble. It’s all I do I think…
I think like you, when not drinking my energy seems boundless. Spent the first two years renovating this house on the Atlantic from top to bottom. Once done that, I switched focus onto gardens and yard and rebuilt stone wall on water and re topsoiled entire yard, planted new seed and made many many gardens… once all around here was to the point of maintenance, I started a small landscape business with wife and I… now it’s workouts and healthy living.
I try and balance it all and not go too overboard, but ensure I am moving.
I appreciate your thoughts and will make sure I stay aware and try and implement moderation as well as I can.
We did. Of course it goes a little deeper but she’s very much been stuck in a rut with nowhere else to turn to. After the last time I helped her out, I told her she needs to get her bloody life together because I’m not going to keep watching her fester and finance it. It’s been going on a few months and she seems to have finally done something about it but it’s not been easy for her. She’s had it rough at the beginning of the year so I just gotta let her do her thing.
If you’ve been married for 15 years, this guy isn’t just crossing your boundaries, he’s massively disrespecting your husband. God he sounds awful.
I’m bewildered today. Foggy. It might lift, it might not. All I need to do is make sure I don’t pick up today. Take the pressure off. I will get better. Grab another coffee and see what I do or don’t do. Enjoy your days; much love
Thanks for the thoughts, and I will ensure I work in balance and limits
Fortunately I guess I do have alternative options of an injury were to transpire.
I do love hiking immensely, it was my passion for my last 5+ years in BC before moving here, prior to that I was quite into biking and had done a few 100km plus races as well as commute to office a couple/few times per week when it was 25lm each way… when office moved closer to house, I began walking to and from a few times per week of 13km each way.
I have my commuter road bike and mountain bike in being serviced currently as I wish to do some more biking this year as well.
So, I guess I am thinking of diversifying my workouts and suspect gym will start falling off a bit once summer comes and I begin my landscape business again…
Just wanted perspective I guess to ensure I stay out of the zone where it becomes too hyper focused. I needed this convo to make sure my head is in straight for this journey so thanks for your thoughtful response man.
I am hard on myself, as I always expect I can do more.
Be kinder, be more helpful, be more focused on improving things.
I need to remember to implement all those to myself as well but it’s definitely not natural for me to do. Pushing to go further and to accomplish more has always been my focus, even in drink, I held a high standard as to what I needed to deliver for family, friends, community…
Thanks for your words, I do appreciate you immensely
Made it to the sea this weekend. I love the sea, and the coast line, and well, any body of water really…lakes, rivers, ponds, a glass of water . I feel a very strong connection to water. I grew up in Cornwall, right next to the sea. And I miss it all the time, so I am super happy to see it when I can. This is a piccie of Bigbury in Devon. We spent the night in Plymouth (also Devon) on the way to pick up my mum, who still lives in Cornwall. It felt good to make the most of the long weekend.
The last two weeks have been crazy. I was sent to the Ivory Coast on a press trip last week. Wow, what an eye- and mind-opening place. So much beauty, long stretches of tropical coast and also thick dense jungle enveloping everything. So glad I got the opportunity, as it’s not somewhere I would have typically considered going on holiday.
Today we will make some good food and take it easy. Happy Easter everyone! X
Feeling quite good. Had some dangerous thoughts yesterday, not a craving, but thoughts of drinking wine would be okay, as I am doing good. Thoughts that are giving permission to drink, fuck off. Drinking will bring back depression and weakness.
Got a bit back into yoga practice this weekend, paused for like 6 weeks. It was nice. And somehow different. Enjoyed meeting myself.
Looking forward to a swim tonight after pausing 3 days as I was at our house far out there lol. Sleeping good there always. Enjoying socializing with mom and had lot of fun with 11yo niece. She is just crazy. I drove her back home in the evening and she was singing and dancing (seated and fastened seatbell of course lol) her heart out in my car for 20 minutes. Hugs always included. Sweetest girl
Hopefully it lifts today for you Marie. If not perhaps a self care indulgence day. Read, hot drinks, blanket, or some tube… whatever it is, just focus on you and your healing
Feeling good today!!! I haven’t truly hit one week sober for a long while until now!!! Even when I was in active addiction I’d hit like 5 days at most before relapsing usually, but today I finally broke past that!!! Woohoo!!!
Finally back at work today, it’ll be a bit challenging keeping my sobriety while working, but I have a plan! I’m going to set a hard boundary where once it’s 5pm I’m done working for the day so that I don’t overwork myself and end up slipping into my old habits!
Thanks so much Nick. It is one of those ick days. I can’t wait to be more sober, and not all over the place. I’m sure it will get better. Appreciate you!
Devon is amazing, we where in Buckfastleigh in December to ride the Polar Express on the South Devon Railway.
We stayed at the Abbey Inn.
Past some amazing Coastline on the train ride back to London. Everyone we met was more than lovley, extremely helpful.
Good food. Absolutely lovley in every way.
Just sad that we where kinda in a rush. We booked Thursday-Saturday just for the Polar Express ride Friday night.
Which also was Magical in every way.
But if we go back, we’ll definitely have more time to explore the surroundings and Especially Dartmoor.
Ok so yesterday i had a anxiety attack at work. Completely stunned me. I hounestly got very little done.
Today is a new day and im here at work ready to clock in to give it my all today. I can try again today
I just got word a lovley but elderly woman that works here passed away yesterday. So sad. Like, she wascso kindbto me. Always asking about seeing the baby but i never got the chance to show her
I showed her pictures and she bought him a outfit with dogs on it. She was one of my favorite people here im actually really sad abouf this
But im here and i can try to have a active day at work. Im totally blessed
. I feel a very strong connection to water. I grew up in Cornwall, right next to the sea. And I miss it all the time, so I am super happy to see it when I can. This is a piccie of Bigbury in Devon. We spent the night in Plymouth (also Devon) on the way to pick up my mum, who still lives in Cornwall. It felt good to make the most of the long weekend.
